The Secret Art of Snark

True Blood Spoilers

2009-07-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

The geniuses over at HBO decided to give synopsis for the rest of the episodes of True Blood on its website. Of course the previews give away... everything. If you have read the books the captions basically tell you exactly what will happen and how it will be different than the books.

Needless to say they have been taken down, but those pathetic pop culture low lifes over at Oh No They Didn't (basically Bitch Please from SNL) managed to capture the synopsis before they were removed. So either stop reading now or continue to find out that Gofrey looks to be Eric's maker and Sophie Anne must help rid Bon Temps of the Maenad/ Circe thing.

207: Release Me (8/02/09)
Betrayed by Daphne, Sam finds himself in an unenviable predicament at the hands of Maryann and her zombie minions. Imprisoned with Hugo at the Light of Day camp, Sookie uses her telepathic powers to reach out to Bill, who's being detained at the hotel by a stubbornly obsessive Lorena. After crossing a church line, a fearful Jason tries to sever his ties with the Fellowship of the Sun, but gets plenty of resistance from Steve and his lackey, Gabe.

208: Timebomb (8/09/09)
Sookie's captivity takes an unexpected turn when Eric arrives to do his master's bidding. In Bon Temps, Sam finds himself in hot water after making a gruesome discovery at Merlotte's. Sent home by Bill, Jessica and Hoyt learn that when it comes to sex, every time is the first time. Tara and Eggs get physical after partaking in a "Hunter soufflé" prepared by Maryann. After Jason pays off his debt to the vampires, Godric looks to enlighten his more single-minded followers.

209: I Will Rise Up (8/16/09)
A wounded Eric plays Sookie for a sucker, to Bill's dismay. Later, Sookie and Jason reflect on their recent adventure, and end up bonding. Blaming Eggs for Tara's bruises and bizarre behavior, Lafayette and Lettie Mae try to figure out a way to pry their kin from Maryann's clutches. Hoyt defends his relationship with Jessica. In Dallas, Eric and the vampires defend their recent actions to Nan Flanagan, and are shocked when Godric decides to take the fall for their PR disaster.

210: New World in My View (8/23/09)
Sookie, Bill and Jason return to a Bon Temps turned upside down by Maryann. Bill discovers that traditional vampire techniques don't work on Maryann; Hoyt and Jessica try to keep a lid on Maxine's madness; Sookie tries to push through the darkness consuming Tara. With all hell breaking loose, Jason takes the bull by the horns to rescue Sam, at least for the moment.

211: Frenzy (8/30/09)
With the crisis in Bon Temps careening out of control, Bill seeks out the advice of Sophie-Anne, the Vampire Queen of Louisiana, but must exercise patience before she gives him critical information. Meanwhile, Sookie and Lafayette find that protecting Tara from herself is more difficult than they anticipated; a desperate Sam turns to an unlikely source for assistance; and Hoyt's allegiance to Maxine is put to the test by Jessica.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_True_Blood_episodes

Individual links for the episodes are there, but HBO just edited them and the summaries are gone from there!

The Return of Buns of Steel!!!

2009-07-07T19:44:00.001-07:00

One of the highest viewed posts on this blog was a post I did a year ago on Mena Suvari's ass. People can't seem to get enough of it... for good reason. Mena Suvari is an actress or something. All that matters is that her ass is incredible. So here is another shot. Lets see if we can get a record number of page impressions for the Secret Art of Snark!!! Someone explain to Hayden Pantierre or whatever that this is how you look like a hot midget.

Hey Everyone!!! Dance your Ass Off is....Phat!!!

2009-07-01T22:53:00.000-07:00

Dance your Ass Off is Oxygens sassy fun attempt on cornering the Fat people getting in shape TV audience
and let me tell you they do exactly that. With lines like make your moves and but as tight as your weave, this show is nothing but genius. The greatest part of this show is that everyone takes it serious and seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that it involves fat people dancing in ridiculous outfits . I know, awesome. The audience gives standing ovations while the judges give constructive criticism about extending arms and pointing toes. No one even once thought about how humiliating ie awesome this show is when pitching it. Please watch this show and enjoy it. I know I am. Oh yeah and that host ... WTF!

The End of an Era....

2009-06-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson had died. People everywhere are collecting their thoughts and feelings to reflect and react to this momentous event. I haven't blogged since April. Major things have occurred since then. I got married, the Pittsburgh Penguins became the Stanley Cup Champions with 20 year olds taking the cup to South Side Bars, the G20 was scheduled to come to Pittsburgh this fall, Perez Hilton was knocked out, Iran is in the middle of another revolution, Real Housewife's of New Jersey came and left, and True Blood returned. None of these things made me want to comment on popular culture. Only this was powerful enough to drive me to take time away from my life and work and blog.

The reason I think this is so important is not because one of the most famous celebrities unexpectedly passed. It is not because it is a major news story or because the MJ crazies will be out in full force. It is because this passing means so much to pop culture and is going to force people to reflect on what the last 40 years of culture has meant.

Michael Jackson's life and work has been inextricably connected to popular culture for the last 40 years actively and passively shaping, changing, and influencing every American, and most humans, life in some meaningful way. What I am trying to say is that most humans below the age 60 (and this is up for debate) can look at their life and connect Michael Jackson to milestones and events that they will never forget. Like the Fall of the Berlin wall, Monica Lewinsky, both Iraq wars, or Hurricane Katrina, major societal events are etched into our mind and often haunt us. A smell, a song, or a picture can remind us of a time in our life, and not one person can say that Michael Jackson doesn't do this for them. You are not an American if you haven't once danced in front of a mirror by your self... in your bedroom to a MJ song. Everyone can think of something major happening in their life and draw a parallel to Michael Jackson. Culture and history have run parallel and are fused to the life and work of MJ for the last 40 years. Everyone of those societal benchmarks I listed can be lined up with an MJ related event.

No one person has had a greater effect whether directly or indirectly on how culture exists today than Michael Jackson. If you look at the way popular culture has changed by leaps and bounds over the last 40 years MJ is arguably the driving force behind it. Internet memes, gossip rags, blogs, TV shows, reality TV, music, art, movies, and meta-everything have bleed together and become a post modern machine all beginning with MJ. There are figures throughout time that have such a gravely important influence on the shaping of an era. Alexander the Great, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Karl Marx, Queen Elizabeth I, Che!!! Michael Jackson has had the same influence in the history of pop culture.

You may not be following me here, but one person by burning his hair, being accused of child molestation, making incredible music and videos, marrying Elvis's daughter, selling Neverland Ranch, buying bones of a dead person, dating Brooke Shields, having too much plastic surgery, moonwalking, and dangling a baby named blanket over a balcony single handedly created modern popular culture and has been part of every major cultural development over the last 40 years. In his death, reflect on where we are. Blogging, You Tube, Facebook, following Chris Brown trials, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Phil Spector, Family Guy etc. I could go on forever. All of that is more or less the product of 40 years of cultural development driven by and attributable to the life and work of MJ.

This is not just a death. This is a chance to reflect on popular culture and an explore where we are today and how we got here. It is unfathomable how important this man was on who we are as Americans. I will never forget Eastern Europeans and "foreigners" coming to our country or speaking about American life without hearing " I love Michael Jackson! I love America!." Thriller is still being bought by thousands of people around the world. It is not just the music. It is what it represents to people. It is American popular culture. It represents everything that people who live in America experience everyday and what people who live in suppressed countries miss out on. This may sound inappropriate, but revolutions like the one that may be brewing in Iran are driven by the desire to have a culture and a life best represented by Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson stands for freedom, creativity, person liberty, and...life. There are stories of people living communist countries secretly listening to Michael Jackson in fear of being caught, singing along and dancing wishing they lived in a country where they were free to do both openly.

The glove, the shoes, the crotch grab. It has created the world and society we live in. It is our culture. The 24 hour news cycles are Michael Jackson. The entertainment award shows and red carpets are Michael Jackson. Nancy Grace, Geraldo, and Bill Orielly are Michael Jackson. 40 years of American popular culture was Michael Jackson whether his name was mentioned or not. This is not the death of a human being, but the death of a piece of American life. We can all reflect on this and try to understand why it is so meaningful to us, but we will never fully grasp how important MJ was to us and our society. Lets all hope that Michael Jackson is in a better place Moonwalking, crotch grabbing, and "A HE HE" ing all day and night long. Lets all raise a cup of Jesus Juice and toast to Michael Jackson, American life, and modern popular culture!

P.S. It took everything in me to not make a joke about Michael Jackson being taken to a children's hospital or having little boys running around in heaven. But hey, if anything it just shows the profound effect he has had on every aspect of popular culture from jokes to criminal justice.

Honey Lets Take the Kids to the Zoo....And Swim With Hungry Polar Bears!

2009-04-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

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Rest In Peace Pittsburgh Policemen...

2009-04-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong Cops are Pigs. I have never been in a position where one has helped me. Most of my run ins with the police have been getting a ticket or them being pricks, but the fact of the matter is that being a cop is a difficult job that is important to society and these people are often tortured leading stressful life's to help people who hate them (like me).

The horrible tragedy of three Pittsburgh Police men being gunned down by a right wing coward in Stanton Hieghts is one of the saddest and most heartbreaking stories that has ever been told in Pittsburgh. Since this blog is a Pittsburgh blog (I know...keep it to yourself) I wouldn't be doing my fake job without mentioning them. I am sure they are all in a better place with police dogs, especially Ulf, non-stop car chases, shooting ranges, Starbucks, and donuts. I don't ask much, but I do ask anyone who reads this to take a second to stop and think about these three men and their families in this difficult time.

The city county building will be closed tomorrow at noon to allow for the mourning of these officers.

Must Be Dreamworks...Ha Ha!!!

2009-04-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

I love shit like this. You know some of the Disney animators are so over it. Everyone at their job tries to cut corners. If you have something to write or have work to do, most people just try to find someone who already did it and copy it. Everyone does it and anyone who says they don't is lying. The game in life is to not get caught. Hell Bloggers are able to make a living doing it. I do it everyday. Where do you think I came up with this post? Musicians do it, lawyers do it, and Disney does, but they got caught.

Watch Disney Templates on CollegeHumor

Ropeless Jump Rope!!! Brilliant!

2009-04-07T18:16:00.001-07:00

Stupidest thing I have ever seen? Maybe not, but it has to be in the top ten. From the Snuggy school of ridiculousness I give you the Jumpsnap. The worlds first and only ropeless jump rope. Basically this thing is a piece of plastic with a "on board computer" to make a clicking sound so that you can hop in place. I could use my dod training clicker and accomplish the same thing. This is the ingenuity that that Glen Beck is always crying about right?

The Internet: The Gift That Just Keeps on Giving...

2009-04-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

Now that we can analyze the Internet and throw around words like viral and meme, you would think that it would "spoil" that "its ours" thing. You know that feeling when a band you like and have followed suddenly hits it big and random people are asking you about it and their songs are played on clear channel stations. Well that will never happen to the Internet and its trillions of awesome things. No matter how much people package Internet culture and bottle it up, it will never be capable of selling out. Why you ask? For the simple reason that things like this are always out there and they are constantly being found.

WTF...WTF...

2009-04-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

WHO KNEW BILLY CORGAN WAS INTO THAI LADY BOYS...

Oh Omegele How You Fester in the Absurd...

2009-04-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

It you haven't heard of Omegle yet, you will. It is a new site where you can talk to strangers without a user name, password, or any sign in to the site. Yes, it is kind of like the early American online chat rooms, but you only talk to one person the "stranger". For the most part you just get really bizarre conversations. Alot of them are completely juvenile crass obscenities led by the infiltration of btards from the 4chan random board, but if you stick through it you can have some really funny or interesting chats with people from around the world. The concept sounds boring, and believe me it does become boring after getting your fifth disconnection after someone tells you they are masturbating or that you are a nigger fag, but stick to it and you will eventually find someone looking for what you are.

At any one time there are about 4,000 people on. I would like someone to figure out the likely hood of getting the same person over an hour period. So go ahead and test your patience for 15 year old obnoxious btards or Finnish people who like Black Gothic Metal. Let me leave you with this. The best conversation I had with a total stranger was on Omegle and it started like this:

You: Hi
Stranger: Would you do a Bong Hit of My Farts?
You: No
Stranger: Not even if I told you that just ate Chinese food?
You: Take out or delivery?
....

What is the 2000's?

2009-04-04T15:04:00.000-07:00

I have been knee deep in the BWE's 90's movie madness bracket over the last week pathetically arguing over whether Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter is Dead is more 90's than Office Space. The whole exercise got me thinking about cultural identification of a decade through its pop medium. Most people have not even become aware of the identifiers that make the 90's the 90's and we are almost through the 2000's. Pretty soon we will begin saying that is so 2000. I can already see the wading pools of cultural fads swirling around in their pre-Cambrian stew to create cohesive markers of 2000-2010.

Part of the problem with trying to identify a decade is that culture doesn't progress in ten period cycles. What we identify as the 90's is really 85-95 and 95-2000. Many would argue that Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter is dead is 80's and Office Space is really 00's. The bad fashion and aesthetic of the 80's hung around into the 90's with slap bracelets and neon windbreakers. This leads me to asking two questions. 1) What is one piece of pop culture that neatly sum ups the 1990's? Please let me know what you think. Once you answer that question next ask yourself this: It is 2009, what is something that defines the 2000's?

Usually Tv's shows work pretty well. Beverly Hill 90210 is an easy answer for question #1 and The O.C. is a pretty good answer for question #2, but push yourself further and give me your best in the comments!

New Gimmick Blog!!!

2009-03-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

I love these new gimmick blogs that have been popping up like This is Why You Are Fat.com , Passive Aggressive Notes.com, and Post Cards From Your Momma. I have a feeling that Richard Blakeley may be behind this new one just like This is Why You are Fat. The newest is Why the Fuck Do You Have a Kid. It is basically what I think everyday when I drive past a bus stop, walk past a McDonald's, or watch a VH1 reality tv show. The website is on the right track, but they have omitted some major WTFDYHK's (Britney Paxil Spears is DQ since she is back to walking around lip syncing for money). Here are my top three:

3) Little Adolf Hitler! Yes the crazy Nazi lovers who named their proud first born Adolf Hitler. Are you full of indignation? Wait... Wait... Adolf has siblings...Wait for it...Adolf has two sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. The latter, just eight months old, was named for Nazi leader Heinrich Himmler. The little racists father doesn't understand why people are shocked when they hear his sons name, to which I say WTFDYHK.

2) The one, the only, Nadia Sulaiman, better known as OCTOMOM, or OCTOCRAZY or just STUPID CRAZY LADY. You may argue that Nadia should be number one seeing that she decided to have 8 children at once when she already had six under the age of ten and had no husband, job, or home, but I feel like this women should never be number 1. Its just not right. Even being named craziest crazy who ever crazied in the world would add to the delusions that comfortably rule her bat shit mind. Just imagining the smell of baby poop, baby vomit, and baby food is enough to say WTFDYHK.

1) The FREE RANGE KIDS parents. For those of you new to this mess, Free Range Parenting is, not a joke, a style of raising kids where you basically let them do whatever they want. No its not just bad parenting. This is intentional rather than just negligent or reckless. It is a bunch of elitist liberal city dwellers who overly intellectualize everything and think that letting their kid ride the subway alone at 9 makes them more prepared to be independent successful adults. My disdain is not really about the concept for I could care less about the kids. Its more about the fact that some stupid liberal lady came up with a parenting technique called Free Range Kids. When I hear things like this it makes me wonder about Fox News and Ann Coulter....just wonder, that's all. I hate people.

Hey Yall...

2009-03-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas March. See she is isn't crazy

SHAMWOW-BOW-KABAM

2009-03-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

Check out this creepy picture of the SHAMWOW Vince after he got arrested for beating up a hooker in Miami who bit his tongue. Yeah this post writes itself. Martini, bikini, FELONY! Ever since are you following me camera guy, I got the vibe this dude smokes meth off a light bulb.

Hit Me Baby One More Time?

2009-03-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

No? Im sorry, It was really just too easy. Britney Spears brings her World Tour sponsored by Zoloft to the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh tomorrow night, and apparently the crazy has already started without her. You see her production crew got here a little early and decided to hit the town last night....literally. Yes two people that allow Britney Spears to walk around the stage and lip synch got into a fight with a yinzer on the south side, then transfered their collective drunk to a couple Pittsburgh Police officers, and lastly got their ass tazered and thrown in the Allegheny County Jail.

According to police, 34-year-old Rockey Dickey, Jr., and 23-year-old Alex Montes, both of California, were arrested just before 1 a.m. today on the South Side. Police say both men are roadies working for the Britney Spears concert tour, which is in town for a show on Friday, March 27th at Mellon Arena. Authorities report that officers on patrol on Carson Street spotted two men involved in a fight, but when they tried to break it up, one of the men, identified as Dickey, reportedly tried to hit an officer. That's when police say Montes assaulted another one of the officers. Police say a Taser was used to subdue Dickey, while Montes was tracked down and arrested at the intersection of 17th Street and Wright's Way after leaving the initial scene of the fight.Dickey was taken to Southside Hospital to be checked out and both were taken to Allegheny County Jail.

How great would this story have been if you replaced roadies with pop star Britney Spears. You know the Britney of late 2007 early 2008 could have gifted us with such a headline. The dead behind the glossy eyes nonperson is soo boring. I miss the old Britney back alley cat weaves and bad complexion.

Backpeddling: This Video

2009-03-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

BTW- Didn't Viacom sue You Tube and google for having videos like this up? Your answer should be: Yes that is why I can now not view it.

Pittsburgh v. McDonalds...

2009-03-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

The ongoing dispute between the Allegheny County Attorney General Stephen Zappala and McDonalds has been resolved. Zappala has been targeting three downtown Pittsburgh McDonalds for drug activity. Undercover police officer have been conducting drug transactions at the Smithfield street Micky D's and even arrested a manager for selling prescription drugs. Zappala wanted McDonalds to do more to stop the activity or he would go forward with declaring them nuisance properties. It would have been the first McDonalds declared a nuisance in the country.

Well McDonalds has decided to pay for surveillance and added security to prevent the AG from taking action. I understand that I wasted an opportunity for some major fun with puns on this post, but I just couldn't bring myself to go there. I walk past these McDonalds almost everyday while working downtown and let me tell you, we don't need the city to declare them a nuisance. I think everyone knows all about downtown McDonalds. If you are going inside, you are either buying drugs, or giving a blow job in the bathroom (after you purchase a small fries of course). Everyone in those dumps are hot messes. There are usually a half dozen crackheads, a few tranny hookers, a dealer, and a Schizo homeless lady. Downtown Micky D's are the dirtiest place in every city. Let them be. Excuse their beauty!!!! Is nothing sacred anymore?

We like are Down town Dirty Brown D's the way they are Mr. Zappala! I think I would be more shocked if I didn't see illegal activity inside than if I did. You can lead a whore to a clinic, but you can't make her go in....or something like that.

Now Do We Have a Problem ...Haha...

2009-03-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

NEW SOUTH PARK ALERT!!!! No it did not disappoint. South Park came back like a bat out of hell, kicking Disney and the Jonas Brothers in their balls. This episode was a classic. Kenny gets a new girlfriend that has a reputation of being a slut. Tammy Werner gave a BJ to a fifth grader in the parking lot of Fridays (I couldn't think of a more perfect line). When the children of South Park find out about Tammy's residence in Ho Town, they warn Kenny about it and the fact that a women's mouth has the most bacteria out of any place on the planet. After Tammy tells Kenny about her lady parts tingling when she sees the Jonas Brothers, Kenny decides to take her to a Jo Bros concert to get some. At the concert, South Park does not shy away from every opportunity to mix prepubescent girls, sex, and Disney in an uber offensive obscene stew. I will not ruin anything further, but keep in mind the rest of the episode involves Mickey mouse kicking the shit out of Joe Jonas. Yeah, awesome. Make sure you catch this episode.

Its about Moral Character!!!

2009-03-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

UPDATE : YOU HAVE TO GO TO LUANN'S BLOG!!!! FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!! I don't see anything about making fun of another person's eyes because they said your husband looks 60 in front of your children.

The Real House Wifes of New York threw their collectives hats into the worst people ever hat tonight. This episode muddled in the "manners" theme began last week. Countess Luan became the heavy favorite for horrible person. She picked up where she left off last week telling everyone about how to act and proper etiquette. My favorite non-intetional irony of the episode was the argument/ discussion/ awful people behavior that took place at the American Cancer Society. As the cunts were preparing the food they started talking about nonsense. As they dwelled on meaningless garbage such as dating Ramona told Luan her husband looked old. This made the countess act like the most dignified sophisticated women ever to classy class. Needless to say all of them behaved worse than a tech school drop out from McKeesrocks. It was just great how they were all wrapped up in "proper etiquette" nonsense while a bald women dying of cancer was running circles around them preparing for the benefit. As these horrible people bickered about things meaningless in the larger picture of life, a women with months to live was trying to make a cancer benefit successful. Its is just too easy. These women wouldn't know proper if it shit in their face.

If there is anything to learn from these wastes of life, it is that the people who think they are right the most and act like they know what is proper are usually the people that know the least. Luann is on the level of a 10 spot VH1 show when it comes to class. Her fake indignation over her husbands age is laughable for a women who is writing a book on how to act. The reaction was on the level of Tamra's "its about moral character." Its pretty bad when in a episode Ramona ends up being the most likable. Her crazy eyes have more class than all of those other Paxil bitches put together. Anyhotflash, these women are stupid and I can't believe I waste a spot on my DVR for this shit show mess. If it was on Wednesday's it wouldn't have a chance. Hey, give me a break, Lost was a repeat this week.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh Trailer is out...

2009-03-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

Michael Chabon's book about being a teenager, growing up, and all that stuff has been made into a movie. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh is finished and we have been given a sneak peak. If you are asking why you should care about that gay shit or saying who gives a fuck, then get the hell out of here and go to TMZ or Perez!! WAIT WAIT! I was only joking. I desperately need your traffic. This is the movie Sienna Miller called Pittsburgh "shitsburg". Remember that PR mess? It started in Rollingstone magazine and ended with her on WPXI with the mayor! HAHAH! Not the best way to get the city on your side. The city was giving free IC LIght if you called her a bitch, and Folino's purposely refused to let her into their bar? Even WDVE got in on the action with listener comments. See there is a gossip angle to this post. If you don't remember then this may jog your memory. "Jude Law wouldn't have cheated on a Yinzer!" (Ed Note: I am paraphrasing this beautiful comment I heard in Lawrenceville).

Regardless, the trailer is here, and this funny first novel from Chabon is worth getting excited for, even if that excitement is for recognizing the places in Pittsburgh where the movie was shot. You see Pittsburgh needs national attention from the Arts. Six Superbowl rings will get us press, but it won't sustain our economy or let us compete with other cities. Having movies filmed here, including one called the Mysteries of Pittsburgh, with celebrity buzz and gossip may actually do more for the city than any Superbowl victory. Whoops, I may have gone too far. Let me just leave it at its nice to see Pittsburgh get some more national attention in 2009. (Lets also hope Mysteries of Pittsburgh comes out before Rumer Willis turkey Sorority Row. That epic FAIL could actually contaminate the city)

Don't Ask What This is Just Accept It...

2009-03-09T08:50:00.001-07:00

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R.I.P Tatiana DelToro

2009-03-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

Today is a sad sad day in reality TV. We lost one of the most entertaining train wrecks that have ever graced life television. American Idol is dead to me. They killed themselves when they offed the craziest most awesome psychopaths that has ever showed up in front of a camera: Tatiana Del Toro. Yes, the geniuses at Idol decided against the less stable young version of Celine Dione for a bunch of boring steamed Broccoli. Fuck You Idol. The only reason you did this was because you knew Vote For the Worst would have turned Tatiana into the next most famous nobody. Really I am sure I will get over this, but it is at least fun to be full of indignation right now. I really don't like the tattoo girl. she is trying to do Whino down to her Heroin Shimmy shakes, and it is a FAIL. I guess Anoop is OK, but he would be better with an accent and overly dramatic... and borderline. Sigh. Another season of Idol, another couple months of devoting energy to people I will never remember in sixth months.

P.S.- I like how Simon used Taylor Hicks as a way of saying someone did bad. He did win the show didn't he?

LETS HATE CHESTER UPDATE!!!

2009-03-04T20:46:00.000-08:00

Its that time in the blogosphere!!! Its time to hate on everyones least favorite Mormon! Or atleast one of everyones least favorite Mormons... Real World Chet or as I like to call him: Chester the Fester. Chet and his stupid glasses pursued his shallow dream of becoming one of those hollow fake MTV minions known as Vjays. It is a dying bread, but apparently there is still a place for them on MTV. It is somewhere between girls getting drunk stripping down to their underwear to pee in public, and young adults talking to their parents about how sluty and self respectless they are. Perfect place for a Mormon! Especially an arrogant mean spirited one!

Chet was up to his usual horribleness this week shamelessly self promoting himself and marching around letting everyone know how great he is and how much he knows about everything. He also reminded everyone how ignorant and vile he is by conning Catyln (or Katyln... not sure) into believeing he wanted to learn more about her transgendered life only to use it against her later on in humiliating her and generally tormenting her highschool style. This is what I hate about Chet. His conceit and arrogance manifest itself in not only constant inflating of his ego, but in also degrading and bullying other people. You can see this deep deep violence that is hidden in him disguised by unnatural confidence and "style." He has not talked much about his religion, but I think his awfulness has everything to do with it.

This brings me to our plan on battling this "thing". The people who have to deal with him need to use his own weapons against him. If I were Catyln ( thank god I am not) I would have turned the tables on him and interrogated him on his religion and all the stupidity that goes along with it. When Chet kept asking about Catyln's dilating device, I would have asked him about his sacred undergarments. Where are they Chet? Wouldn't it be funny if someone hung them over a room mate as they slept? When he asked what it was like to wake up without a penis? I would have asked what is it like to wake up knowing you follow a religion started by a conman who fooled people into believing he found gold plates with the book of Mormon written on them (dumb dumb dumb dumb). Chet needs to be humiliated and his religion is the perfect opportunity. The kid is obsessed with sex and celebrities. What kind of loser wastes time on that?....(collar pull).

So everyone, vent, scream, yell, type in all caps in the comments. Let me know your thoughts and general opinion about Chet. Lets combine our pathetic power and use it for something good; tearing down a person that has done nothing to us. Well, he actually has because I can never wear a scarf or skinny jeans again because of this monster tool. If Chet is good for anything, it is as a contestant on the next season of Tool Academy: Mormon Tool.

Roman's Sister is Napolean Dynamite's GRANDMA!!!!

2009-03-01T23:15:00.000-08:00

Big Love has majorly brought its A game this season. The show has always been relatively entertaining successfully full filling its position as the filler in between HBO's bigger more critically applauded "ground breaking" series, but this season it has broke out of its "intermission" role and established itself as one of the best shows on all of TV. The layered brooding atmosphere only pushes forward the compelling world of intrigue, murder, lies, betrayal, and collusion. All of this goes on in the seaming normal lives of polygamists. This uncanny life is shown in a way that is, at times, completely relatable while also leaving a spooky feeling throughout each episode (something HBO has perfected in all of their original programming).

Just when I thought the show couldn't get any better I was rewarded with last nights episode. Aside from a pounding forward of the plot, there was one of the greatest scenes in a Tv show that I have seen this season. We have cone to find out, by the grace of god no doubt, that Roman's (the prophet of the retarded insane Polygamist compound at the center of all the intrigue on the show) sister is none other than Napolean Dynamites Grandma. Yes the women who will forever been known as coining the phrase "well make yourself a dang Quesadi-l-l-a then Napolean." Selma Green (Roman's sister) has made a surrealist appearance before on Big Love with the rest of the Green clan, but tonight's episode was the first time we were told she was a women... and Roman's sister. Sandy Martin deserves an Emmy for her appearance in this episode. While officiating a forced marriage between Bill's brother's intended wife and Roman's brother in law, Grandma gets thrown on the ground, stabbed with a pitchfork, and then attacked by a hungry pig who wants to eat her bloody wound. I could not ask for anything more from TV. If this hasn't convinced you that you must watch this show I don't know what else you need.

The Real Worst People of Orange County

2009-02-24T20:44:00.000-08:00

The reunion show was on last night for the Real Skank Ho Shallow Whore Cunts of Orange County. Its pretty bad that Tamra basically calls Gretchen out and reveals to the world that Gretchen had a boyfriend that helped her run a con on a rich old man dying of cancer (something right out of sleazy movie), and I still think that she is the worst of the bunch and a completely horrible person. I believe everything that Tamra said, but while she was saying it she grew uglier and uglier to me. Her vileness and complete spite manifests itself with Tamra's spewing of hate, jealousy, and negativity. Tamra defines the word cunt and gives women a horrible name. She is everything that is wrong with the world. To be so mean with Vicky and then turn around and accuse others of hurting their feelings made me change the channel. Yes, change the channel. After seeing footage of Vicky and Tamra say "lets get Gretchen naked and drunk, " then deny that there was a premeditated plan made me think there is no reason to watch this garbage and give these people a reason to continue in their horrible life.

The level of hatred and mean spiritless goes beyond ghetto crime and Islamic terrorism. I truly believe that these "women" of Orange County are worse for the world than any crime or dictatorship. I hate you women. You are fake, plastic, worthless, terrible human beings that are more disgusting than the stuff that ends up underneath the seat of my toilet after diarrhea. Lynn your OK, Gretchen even know you are a tramp who dated a man for his money while in a relationship, your are sort of OK, and Jeanna, even know you would let your kids and husband run over you in a bus, you are OK. Vicky (Getting hit in the head with the football is all you deserve forever in life) and Tamara you are going to hell, and the worst part is you don't even know it. You think your life and person is no worse than anyone else, and even more shocking you think its better. Fuck you, I hope you rot from some horrible disease and get whats coming to you. There, I feel so much better. This is what happens when I am forced to watch this garbage. These women can dress in expensive clothes and jewelry, but they are no where near as classy or elegant as DJ Lady Tribe or filthiest piece of skank cum bucket on the F list VH1 shows.

THANK YOU INTERNET.....FROM DEEP DOWN THANK YOU!!!

2009-02-19T14:26:00.000-08:00

This video is bizarre on a level only the Internet could understand. I will briefly point out why it is awesome:

* The guys look funny- now I know that is shallow, but come on lets be honest. They are deformed and when they dance it looks funny
* The dancing is awesome. The pelvic thrusts, body vibrations, the spins, the jumps, the "I am so into it" look on their faces.
* They are actually kind of talented. The more you watch it, the more you realize that they are actually kind of talented and if they were not trapped in the bodies they have they could actually dance really well.
* WTF- what they hell is going on. The Where, Who, and WHY abstraction of this surrealist mess leaves you wanting more
* Its foreign. Anything that is foreign is always awesome. The cultural mistranslation always gives you something that is worth wasting time on.
* The normal, if not abnormally long arms on the one guy are kind of mesmerizing...

* Lastly, did I mention they are deformed and dancing funny?

AND ONE MORE FOR ALL YOU HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joaquin Phoinex is Stupid....

2009-02-12T17:01:00.000-08:00

So Joaquin Phoenix has been running around telling people he is retiring from acting and becoming a rapper. After nearly winning an Oscar, Phoenix has grown a beard and stopped bathing attempting to let the world know that he is over all of "it" while at the same time get publicity and attention. So, most people with a mind have called shenanigans on Phoenix saying this is all some sort of publicity stunt/performance art/ Kaufmanesque joke. Whatever it is, it is a major FAIL. The irony is lost, he is not funny, and his rapping sucks. He just looks like an elitist Hollywood actor trying to make everyone seems they are not good enough for the joke....if there is one.

Phoenix was on Letterman last night and made this whole thing even more complicated. I questioned whether this is a joke. Maybe he really has gone insane. Whatever is going on Letterman did what he does best; make celebrities look stupid. I am not a Letterman fan, but I do love when he has on stupid celebrities and completely calls them on their shit in his own way. Paris Hilton, LC, Madonna, Dave is great at embarrassing people that deserve it, and last night was no different. Watch and let me know what you think.

I Love the Internet....

2009-02-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

Only on the Internet will you find a site devoted to food that is ridiculously unhealthy. Leave it to college level stoners to come up with the most gluttonous grease driven masterpieces of This is Why You are Fat.com. When people say pot is bad I urge them to check out the website. Sure pot is bad if you are going to eat a pizza with corndogs on it or a deep fried mars bar, for the most part pot is responsible for some of the best entertainment and senses of humor I have ever come in contact with. t is sometimes difficult to explain what smoking pot is like to someone who has not experience, but this website pretty much perfectly summarizes pot on every level. It covers the buffoonery, the munchies, and the mind expanding. This is why you are fat is such an incredible website because not only does it crack you up, but it also just generally makes you happy. Go check out the website, then push yourself creatively to come up with something worthy of being featured on the website. And believe me, the website is not just for stoners, the sad part is that I would probably each anything on that website stoned or not.

STUMPS!!! The Senior Citizen Dog Takes Westminster!!!

2009-02-10T22:10:00.000-08:00

Damn, Stumps the Sussex Spaniel won best at show at the Westminster dog show today proving that age don't mean shit!!! Stumps beat down those bitches after over coming a premature retirement, disease, ailments, and a general consensus that his career was over. Man call this dog Mickey Rouke because he just pulled a page out off The Wrestler and revitalized his career. In a world where youth means everything and your career can be over by 5 years old Stumps triumphed when others would have faltered. Stumps slowing made it around the ring slobbering the whole way letting his old age show. As the other dogs zipped around the show floor, Stumps slowly lumbered last in line breathing like he just finished an all you can eat Beneful buffet. It didn't matter because Stumps pulled it out proving that Micket Rouke isn't the only washed up celebrity that has one more championship in the ring!!!!

Most. Cute. Animal. Picture. Ever..... of the week.

2009-02-05T19:55:00.001-08:00

This is a picture of Koala Bear that got too hot from the heat wave that is taking over Australia. Someone saw the Koala come up onto their back porch looking under the weather and over heated, so they put a bucket of cold water outside. After sipping the water, the marsupial did what any living thing on this level of adorableness would do. He got into the bucket and took a cold bath. PRICELESS. I think I just discovered I have a heart. If there was a video of this it would totally beat out Christian Bale and "high 5 year old" as viral video of the week. Dare I say that he may have Stains beat!!! Wait, wait, I may be taking this too far...

Here are two more... Thanks Bro!

I HATE CHET!!!! YOU SHOULD TO!!!

2009-02-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

So this blog is suppose to be a pop culture Pittsburgh blog with an attempt at sarcasm and disdain, but I think that I may change the theme to a anti-Chet blog. I think I have so much resentment and anger toward this Mormon member of the Real World Brooklyn cast that I could devote post after post and hours of content toward tearing to shreds this hypocritical, evil, vile waste of human life.

Chet's judgmental -conceited- arrogant- ignorant -egotistical attitude could provide an outlet and the means of a channel for the collective anxiety that this country feels right now. I know that it is for me. After judging and commanding each and every cast member to live their life and make personal decisions "his" way, Chet makes me hate him even more with his stupid hipster sense of style and his desire to be a host of TRL (which is canceled btw. What does this say?). I can't even look at his barely there eyebrows and stupid glasses without getting a fire in the pit of my stomach. Tonight's episode just reinforced everything I said, and as proof I offer you one thing..... Chets hat with these four letters written in capital purple letters: C-H-E-T. You stupid stupid person. You suck on levels unimaginable. Please everyone read Under the Banner of Heaven. Then apply what you have read to Chet. Then watch his behavior on the Real World. Then think of the way he instigates crazy Ryan. Then think of that god awful hat. I. Rest. My. Case.

TODAY IS THE GREATEST DAY I'VE EVER KNOWN...

2009-02-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

Can't live for tomorrow, tomorrows much too long. The Pittsburgh Steelers have won their sixth Superbowl title tonight beating the Arizona Cardinals in one of the best heart stopping games in NFL history. Santonio Holmes was named MVP after catching the winning touchdown pass in the last 40 seconds with his toes touching the back corner of the end zone.

It was everything you could ask for as a Pittsburgh life long resident. It was full of incredible plays, ups, downs, and excitement. It may have been the greatest Superbowl ever. The Steelers now have more Superbowl wins than any other franchise, and may be the best NFL franchise ever. You cannot blog about what it feels like to be in Pittsburgh right now.

I watched the game in the city, and after the game the streets flooded with crazy Yinzers creating a river of Black and Gold celebration. People were cheering and chanting along with the police sirens, waiving terrible towels, hugging strangers, and slapping high sixes.

On the way home every neighborhood you drove through (and there are alot in Pittsburgh) had people honking their horns and people on streets corners sharing the collective PIttsburgh pride. Like I have said before only a Pittsburgher understands what the Steelers are and what they mean to the city. It is tradition, unity, heritage, and the air we breath. It is bread into the genes of every person who spends any time here. You could go anywhere in the world and find anther person from PIttsburgh, and know that you have a special bond to them because of the Steelers. There is no other professional sports team that can create a bond like that.

Just like the Obama win, there is a picture slide show (I saw it on KDKA after the game) out there I am trying to find of people all over the world celebrating the Pittsburgh win. India, Africa, Japan, and France all have people waiving terrible towels. If you don't get it now you never will. Thanks Steelers, you make us proud and our city worth living in!!!!! You will give our city the most press we have had in three (since the last win in 2006) over the next week. See you at the parade.

I Finally Got Around to Writing a Benjamin Button Bash...

2009-01-21T06:50:00.001-08:00

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

I don't think I have mentioned it on here, but Benjamin Button is like the worst movie of the year. I don't understand how any critic sat through it, let alone enjoyed it. It didn't really make any sense, the concept wore thin 45 minutes into the nearly 3 hour movie, and there was little to no meaningful character development to attach you to the story.

The whole time I just kept thinking that the movie was a less tolerable Forrest Gump ( which is saying alot). Take Forrest Gump remove all of the familiar pop culture references and lovable bafoonery, then add a Nautica/ Ralph Lauren aesthetic to the cinematography and you have Benjiman Button. Don't worry about the whole growing old to young thing, because you forget about it and get used to Button's weird appearence completely failing to relate it to how it is affecting who he is (the greatest failure of the movie).

Anywasteoftimeterriblemovie, I was proven right in my astute observations because I guess both movies were written by Eric Roth, and are set up the same way (see video above). Well what do you know. I just can't seem to understand how people are allowing the wool to be pulled over their eyes with the constipated mess. Could it be that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie live just wonderful Hollywood envied lives that there is no way that one of them could be part of such shit? They adopt kids from all over the world and live in France, so whatever they do must be sophisticated and awesome right? NO! This movie sucks and has nothing on Forrest Gump (which, it is important to note, is a cliched Hollywood sentimental fuck fest mess). So just watch the movie above instead of wasting money and time on this epic dump.

"This is America Happening"

2009-01-20T13:08:00.001-08:00

The best possible quote I have heard to date describing the election and inaguration of the first black president and hope- filling public figure. This was spoken by Evadey Minott, one of an estimated 2 million people who watched the parade and festivities in Washington. I think the quote captures how Obama has made the American people reconnect to what we are about as a country and how he has made us conscious of where we are today based on where we were in the past.

(The picture above is a little different than Bush's swearing in huh?)

Obama has redefined what and who we are as a nation whewn we desperately needed it. It seemed we were a confused, depressed, lifeless people drifting along and Obama came along united us and refocused the American spirit in a direction it needs and has always wanted to go. Lets hope that the he is up to the challenge and the expectations and rhetoric were not to high and dramatic.

Boring Monday Post...

2009-01-19T20:08:00.000-08:00

After the post Steeler crazy awesomeness celebration hot mess masterpiece crash, Mondays can be somewhat of a drag- even with thinking about god's gift to Pittsburgh in an AFC Championship game. With that said/ written (very poorly at that) the above video of Serious Cat should give you that 2:30 boost (even know the first publishing of this post failed and it didn't show up until after the work day).

Serious Cat is the newest lol cat. Welcome him to the family. He is a distant cousin of ceiling cat, and the mortal frenemy of Spaghetti Cat. I am sure Encyclopedia Dramatica has a way better and authentic biography of this incredible meme. Head over there for the real scoop, or just enjoy his awesomeness.

Pittsburgh's Getting a Six PACK!!!!!

2009-01-18T22:18:00.001-08:00

When in the course of human events a situation arises that carries with it such importance and great weight that we find a whole city of people lose their collective shit and and proceed to transform their emotional state into an ecstatic euphoria, the world and the nation should take time to pause and appreciate it. No, I am not talking about the inauguration of the first African American president, I am talking about that historic event of the Pittsburgh Steelers becomg AFC champions and having a chance to with their sixth Superbowl title. The Six Pack.

Yes the Stillers have won the AFC Championship game against the dirty bird Baltimore Ravens giving them a Superbowl birth. For a city that lives and breathes Steeler football, words cannot describe what we feel in this momentous occasion. Only us as Yinzers know what it is like. It is what binds us together as habitants of the 412 area code. You cannot explain it, only live it, and every Pittsburgher knows the emotion all to well. What we are feeling right now, post game, is almost more excitement and pride than what we will feel the day of the Superbowl or even after a Superbowl win. That is just the way it is when the whole mood and outlook of a city rests on the shoulders of a football team.

The next couple weeks will be insane in Pittsburgh with WDVE and the local press playing really bad Steeler fight songs and Black and Gold chants. The city will be broken down into its most pure Yinzer concentrated form. Just when we will not be able to take anymore of the frenzy, Superbowl Sunday will come and we will be reminded of why we wouldn't rather live in any other city. Thank you Steelers for allowing us all to experience something that Philadelphia, Cincinnati, and Detroit could only dream of experiencing. Thank you Steelers for making Monday alot more easy to deal with!!!!!

So You Think You Are America's Best Dance Crew!!!!???

2009-01-15T20:31:00.000-08:00

I am sure there is some version of this post out there on Salon or Slate written by some graduate student making my point much more coherently, but I will attempt it anyway.

We are really seeing the recessionomics hitting TV in major ways. Besides no advertising for new shows and little to no new dramas with real actors, as I already mentioned, MTV is recycling where it is filming its reality shows, letting VH1 borrow the Real World house for its recycled Teen Idols and putting Daddy's Girls in LC's old haunt.

Now, reality shows are even recycling the same shows with the same reality Tv stars. MTV's hit America's Best Dance Crew came back tonight, and with it came So You Think You Can Dance's summer cast. Yes, I counted at least 4 SYTYCD "stars" scattered through out the crews tonight (Hok, the dude who crushed on Kat, the Clogger, the dude who lands on his head in the opening credits). If I hadn't seen America's Best Dance crew featured on SYTYCD's finale over the summer I would just think it was a coincidence, but I did. It seems to me that maybe MTV has a manipulative hand a la the "Hills" in this seasons show. These "crews" may not be as amateur as MTV leads us on to believe.

Times are tough for everyone including Viacom and MTV. If that means recycling sets or cutting back on casting expenses then so be it. When you start to see reality TV characters on shows the same way you would see an actor on a Prime Time Drama you know every penny is being counted.

So what does this mean? I didn't go to grad school ( well yes, but law school doesn't count) so nothing. ABDC rocked!!!!! Who cares they are all professional dancers who were on other shows. They can fucking bring it hardcore. This is the best season yet with a wide variety of crews each establishing itself as a niche character not unlike the Real World and its 7 (now 8) strangers. We have gimmicks like clogging and stepping, female breakers, the cheerleaders, and new and different "Brooklyn contortion". This gon be fun.... I am all about the Cloggers. Can't wait for them to kick the steppers asses in the 30 second dance off.

And as always, Little Mama made no sense to anyone but Paula Abdul and JC Chasez should be permanently replaced by the Jabawokie dude. I'm out......

Women are off to a great start in 2009!!!!!

2009-01-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, 2009 may be the year of the Skank. The occupation of Reality TV is their home base and anyone who tries to take them from their bad economy random Vh1 or MTV shows will have hell to pay. If you have no idea what I am talking about let me give you some Real Talk. Dirty, skanky, trashy, street walking drunk mess women are taking over TV. In terms of Tv this is a good thing, but in terms of the world this very very bad. That is neither here nor there right now.

I will make my point with two shows ( I know there are many I could use, but I feel these two clearly make my point). Rock of Love Bus is transcending the possibilities of Skank on TV. We are seeing things that never crossed my mind when I thought how a television watching experience could be made better. Aside from the drunk mess (which includes a test tube shot of alcohol out of a veejay), the show also has some down right crazy awesome borderline people who are willingly to destroy their life and any chance at meaning full work on national TV.

Now on the other side of the coin are the Real House Wife's of Orange County. They are included here because their show has become so vindictive, trashy, mean spirited and down right Paris Hilton circa 2001, that they really are nothing more than Rock of Skank in expensive jewelry and more clothes.

After seeing Tamra willfully get Gretchen shitfaced to the point of it being criminal, only to make her look stupid or have her cheat on her dying fiance, I was disgusted, but also highly entertained. The fact that Tamra used her son as a pawn in a vicious catty attempt destroy the girl who is more pretty than her with no remorse about Gretchen's dying fiance, showed me a true CUNT. That is all she and the rest of those Skank bags are. CUNTS. 20 years ago they would have been on the Rock of Love Bus doing shots out of each others, then a lot cleaner, ham wallets.

Here, Here!!!!!!! To Skanks!!!! Thanks for making my TV watching experience that much more ummm...gross? I will continue to watch and be highly entertained, I just may have to wear a raincoat to prevent myself from getting a disease.

Pittsburgh Meta-Rivalry...

2009-01-13T12:53:00.000-08:00

So the big thing taking every one's mind of the bleak tundra style weather that magnifies all of Pittsburgh's flaws is Playoff Football. This is not an uncommon thing in Pittsburgh since the Steelers almost inevitably end up in the post-season every year. Regardless, it is a great way for us Yinzers to come together, stop complaining about our city, and collectively cheer on the Steelers in hopes that they temporary return the Burg to the 1970's (and Feb 2006) glory that the Superbowl win briefly creates. We are two wins away, and the first team in our way are the Ravens.

With the post season comes the rivalries and rivalry of rivalries. Soon mayors will be making harmless politically calculated bets and Ray Lewis will say something controversial like always. But, this year that dirty, no good, Pittsburgh wannabe city of Baltimore has taken it one step to far. Baltimore Sun writer Kevin Cowherd (Coward? Cowher? Ironic?), whom I would personally attack if it wasn't for The Wire, has gone after Primanti Brothers sandwiches in an attempt at good old fashion muckraking. Cowherd says that the sandwiches aren't good for you and that the french fries look like worms. What, are you scared of Primanti's Kevin? Ok Ill stop...

Now you can attack our crappy city anyway you want Mr. Cowherd. You can push our aging population in our faces, our lack of useful public transportation, or even our bafoonery in attempting to get a casino built, but don't you dare even say a word about our sloppy-greasy- grade F meat sandwiches. There is no food more sacred in this city than sandwiches eaten by the most obnoxiously drunk 20 somethings post 2 am on any given Friday or Saturday night. How dare you say that a sandwich with egg and french fries served in a place where homeless people are slow dancing with the toilet is anything other than 6 star culinary masterpiece!!!!

Its on Mr. Cowherd. Your Natty Boh beer and UTZ chips suck, and after a google search I found out your responsible for Tori Amos and Abercrombie and Fitch (so basically gay). Ill take John Waters, The Wire, Charms City Cakes, and Bmore Club jams, but aside from that your city sucks, and you know it. Everyone in the world knows that the Baltimore accent is just a low rent version of the Pittsburghees, and the Pittsburgh Passion can totally kick the Baltimore Burn's vagina! Just keep in mind that the Steelers are going to win come Sunday and a whole lot of Baltimore fans will be sobering up, nursing their hangover, or using a toilet in a Primanti Brother's somewhere downtown. Black and Gold baby!!!

GREATEST VIDEO I HAVE SEEN IN 2009...

2009-01-08T11:09:00.000-08:00

This is the best viral video I have seen in a long time. It kind of sums up all of College Humor and Funny or Die in one 4 minute video. In fact, I think this video kills both of those sites. Each rapper gets better and better, although my favorite is without a doubt at the minute mark. He takes the Dustin Hoffman via Rainman delivery style. Wouldn't you? It is the 80's.

And We're Off...

2009-01-07T19:40:00.001-08:00

The old wise sage of reality TV returned tonight and it brought with it its usual type cast. I don't need to rehash the usual suspects that we have all come to be so familiar with after growing up MTV. There is a tranny/ 2008 SAS biggest pop culture splash in the cast, which makes it extra "real". Also, there are now !!!!8!!!! strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped instead of 7....look out!!!

This season the mess takes place in Brooklyn New York. I will leave the dismissive comments to other blogs like Gawker that will no doubt tear to shreds the fact that people are moving to New York for the first time and are somehow less deserving to live there than recently transplanted bloggers. It always bothers me that New Yorkers, no matter how long they have lived there, feel they are more deserving to live in the city and know more about the city than everyone else who makes the move. It is just something that happens to people who move to NYC. They could live there for one month, and get into arguments about where the best Pizza is or how bad Time Square sucks.

I am sure Gawker will make fun of the cast's excitement to see the Statue of Liberty for the first time, and the awesomeness that everyone, including Gawker writers, feel the minute they set foot in the one of a kind city. The show is about people sharing different life experiences for the first time and doing it in New York will surely bring the ire and disdain of the cynical.

Anystuckup....Now for the truth. The cast is somewhat more interesting and provocative than past seasons. They seem to have set up the season for a monster culture clash by having three GBT individuals pitted against a Mormon, southern beauty queen, and small town war vet with two more random individuals to take sides....in Brooklyn.

Now, most importantly, the Morman SUCKS!!!! He is just horrible and intolerable. The Iraqi vet is a loose cannon, who can't hold his liquor, from a small town that seems to be open minded and not at all affected by war, but actually is borderline and negatively provoked by the Mormon. (one sentence!) The douche bag club beast actually seems OK and is just concerned with getting attention from anyone who will give it to him. The ying to his yang the beauty queen is the exact same but black and female. The gay guy is, so far, the gay guy on route to being the gay guy from every other season. Boring and not around much. The hip hop dancer looks to be the needy girl and the artistic girl is well... this isn't going well. Do I really need to explain. It looks to be a well...the Real World. We will watch it, forget about it, then watch it when it returns. Its no Bad Girls Club, Mama's Boy, or Rock of Skank, but it is what it is and we will watch it, marathon or Wednesday night.

After all this time it has become as ingrained in our TV schedule as 60 Minutes or football has on Sundays. There really is not much more to say. I have tried to come up with something in this post, but at this point we know what to expect. There are no more original observations to make. I guess I am just as cynical as all those bloggers after all.

MY BEST OF 2008 List!!!

2008-12-30T20:27:00.000-08:00

Its that time of the year again...the end. 2008 is coming to an end. I have graduated from law school been admitted as a lawyer in Pennsylvania and have come leaps forward in becoming a married man. Yes 2008 has majorly changed me. I have gone from having little to no responsibility to having serious stress fueled responsibility. Sucks... So here is my list of things I thought of in the last ten minutes as the best of 2008, so this really has no thought put into it and could change at any moment. Basically it is the best most important list you should read.

BEST BLOG: The Secret Art of Snark. Come on, would it be anything else? NO! Honorable mentions are Dlisted, FAIL, and Best Week Ever.

BEST ALBUM: M83 Saturdays=Flowers. Any music that invoke such an emotional response when the music is not telling you what to feel, is something incredible. This album reminds me of Donnie Darko for some reason. Don't ask. Just buy it. Honorable mention - Cut Copy

MOST OVER RATED ALBUM: Fleet Foxes- Fleet Foxes. I just don't see what the fuss is about. The melodies are good, but I don't see this being any better than the rest of the folky beach boys inspired 60's atmospheric music that has been having a major resurgence in indie rock lately. Sorry...

BIGGEST SPLASH IN POP CULTURE: This award goes to someone, something, or basically any noun that has become huge in pop culture making its mark in a way that we will never forget. Its something that made great strides in popular culture establishing itself as a person place or thing to be reckoned with. For 2008 it is TRANNIES!!! Trannies have been everywhere. There presence was felt so strongly in 2008 that even women are picking up on their look and trends mimicking their hotness. Aubrey Odey, Kim Kardashian, and Tyra Banks are leading the movement. We saw trannies all over reality TV and even saw one become the mayor of a town. It looks like 2009 will be another great year for then with the Real World jumping on the band wagon after Puffy's show and Top Model. To Trannies!!!

BEST REALTY TV MOMENT: This is without a doubt the hardest award to give and there were so many it is really impossible to come up with the best as in entertainment value. I am going with my personal favorite. Unfortunately there is no video on the net, so try to think of this genius moment. It was when Vicki from the Real Housewives of Orange County was smashed in the face with a football on a boat at Lake Havasu. just picture her doing her stupid screaming thing when a foot ball comes flying onto the screen an nails her in the face.... awesome...

MOST INSANE ENTERTAINING CRIMINAL: There was OJ Simpson, The Santa Flame Thrower murderer, and money flushing down the toileter Bernard Madoff. I am going with Casey Anthony on this one because the sheer idiocy of this lying dumb bitch just continues on and on. After coming up with lie after lie when confronted with why she didn't report her daughter missing after a month, we come to find out stupid Casey searched the Internet for the 100th episode of One Tree Hill. Why you ask? Well because the 100th episode of that show was about a baby being kidnapped by her nanny (no not Zanni the Nanny...I know) and being held in an apartment somewhere. The fact that Casey Anthony tried to come up with an Alibi by using a plot line from one of the most ridiculous unrealistic teen dramas gives us a glimpse of how insane she is. I would not be surprised if she tries some Days of Our Lives shit and blames all of this on Steffano Demira or argues Little Callie is coming back from the dead and it was her unknown twin that died.

BEST SHOW OF 2008: TRUE BLOOD. I struggled over this. I liked Summer Heights High and Damages, 30 Rock , and Gossip Girl ( don't judge), but True Blood was the most refreshing change of pace and has that incredible normal closest thing to real life feel that Alan Ball does so well all while being deeply rooted in fantasy. It also does a great job of translating pretty crappy books into great television.

BEST FAIL OF 2008: SARAH PALIN. need I say more?

BEST WIN OF 2008: Barak Obama. Same

The City Could Be the Nail in Lauren Conrad's Coffin...

2008-12-29T20:10:00.000-08:00

The Hills spin-offs made their irrelevant debut tonight and of course I watched them. I have no control just like a cutter bringing pain to themselves for some subliminal mental issue, I to cause injury to my pysche purposefuly, only using trash TV instead.

Bromance was a weird pledging fraternity mess. I am interested to see how much MTV will push the "gay" irony of the show. It could be pretty entertaining considering the only homo on the show left the first episode because finding "Bromance" was too testosterone driven. I doubt I will do anything more than occasionally catch bits and peices of this show during the commercials of something better on the weekend. I am a bit impressed with how serious Brody Jenner takes himself and the show. I mean come on, does he at all see how ridiculous his and the show's existence is?

On to the City, which is surprising really good. It will be interesting to see how the traditionally mean spirited Manhattan know it all Gawker will take the show. I am sure they will be sarcastic and dismissive, but The City is not quit as "dead behind the eyes" as the Hills, and I think that they will be slightly confused by it.

For starters Whitney is surprisingly well spoken and real. What the Hills lacked The City is chalk full of. The conversations are not hollow and empty. They are actually real and interesting. People interact like humans not empty organic bodies. So far, people have said more and done more than a full season of its bastard step child in LA. Maybe it says something about New York in general. There is so much more to life in that city than LA. People are living, experiencing, and interacting on such a higher level that MTV can't manipulate them the same way they can on the west coast. Don't get me wrong there is still a lot to get nauseous over, but for the most part Whitney is such a more likable person than Lauren, and New York is somuch cooler than LA, that the show works really well and is much easier to watch.

I like the fact that two years ago Olivia, the socialite ("So-sh"), would have been a character that people envied and aspired to be, but with the quick change of economic environment, she actually now comes across as desperate and shallow. Imagine that, socialites getting the side eye. Something good finally came out of this recession.

I can only hope that the content and substance of The City convinces everyone that they have been hoodwinked by The Hills and Lauren Conrad. I am sure that LC has already noticed this and it will only be time before we see blog items insinuating things aren't good between Whitney and Lauren. Poor Lauren will become as meaningless and useless as she has always been when everyone realizes Whitney is far more interesting and likable. As The City pushes The Hills down the steel stairs, The Hills "characters" will become more and more desperate. We will undoubtedly see more crap like "Bromance" and only Satan himself can conceive what Spencer and Heidi will do to keep them Z-list enough to land an US Weekly cover. Who knows they may be forced to settle for the corner of a Star cover. GASP!!!!

2008 Mashup Video by Dj Earthworm

2008-12-29T16:09:00.000-08:00

It is closely approaching the end of 2008. It has been a great year for good music (cut copy, M83) but an only mediocre one for pop music. Above is a video/ mash up of all the songs from 2008 that were in the top 25 created by San Francisco artist Dj Earthworm. Its no Girl Talk, but worth the listen. I have been looking for the Mp3 download because i think that it would be cool to play at a party or before going out for the night. Anyone who has access to the MP3 let me know. Thaaaaaaaaaaaanks

Below is last years mix from 2007. I think I like this years better. The Viva la Vida theme works pretty good.

Table Games in the Burgh???

2008-12-22T21:34:00.000-08:00

People have barely learned how to play Little Green Men and there is already a Bill being brought to the legislature legalizing table games. Hell, the North Shore Casino doesn't even have plumbing or a roof and Pennsylvania is already saying slot machines aren't going to be the money miracle everyone thought they would be.

Rep. Tim Solobay of Canonsburg said yesterday that he and House Democratic Whip Bill DeWeese of Waynesburg are crafting legislation for 2009 to permit table games at Pennsylvania's 14 authorized casinos and also to permit licensed liquor establishments, such as bars, taverns and private ethnic and fraternal clubs, to have up to six slot machines each. So basically they want to turn Pennsylvania into Weirton West Virginia. Where do we sign!!!!! Mr. DeWeese has for several years been pushing to add table games, such as poker, dice and blackjack, to the slot machines already authorized at Pennsylvania casinos.

Mr. Solobay said the Legislature should do something for smaller bars, many of which are suffering from the state's new anti-smoking law and from the current recession. He said that while many "VFWs, American Legions and mom and pop taverns" have video machines that can legally be used only for "amusement purposes,"' (HAHAHAHAHAHAH right....) they should be able to add a small number -- he suggested six -- of video poker and other slot machines for gambling.

What a mess!!! Lets fix the the public's health with an anti-smoking ban, then help the bars who were hurt with degenerative gambling addiction. Replacing one addiction with another always works!!! These anti-smoking/ drink tax/ public transit funding/ gambling laws are just one giant cluster fuck akin to the state government chasing its own tail. I think these people just want to complete Pittsburgh's inevitable transformation into every other former steel town that is dragged down with an aging population stagnant economy. At the rate we are going Pittsburgh is going to be a perfect mix of Zanesville Ohio and Wheeling West Virginia. Who I am I kidding, I would be the first one in line if we got table games. Further, I would try to open as many cafes as I could just to get six slot machines to extract whatever money is left from the city once that disaster on the North Shore limps through the finish line.

Please Forgive Me For a Hills Post

2008-12-22T21:09:00.000-08:00

So the Baron waste land of silence and non-events known as the Hills once again came to its anti-climatic season's close. Can you believe this show has had multiple seasons? Its like one extra long season where nothing has happened. If Spencer and Heidi were not on this show there would seriously be no plot, no story, no nothing. Just waifish ghosts gliding in front of a camera staring at each other in silence. Not that its any different now.

The season ended with Justin Bobby kind of asking Adriana to be his girlfriend or something, Lauren talking but not talking to Heidi, and Heidi not marrying Spencer. I know, compelling stuff. One thing I have to bring up was the non conversation between Lauren and Heidi. For once, a awkward boring social interaction Lauren had with someone made sense to me. By saying nothing, Lauren said the most she ever has said in the whole existence of...well herself.

Lauren and Heidi "interacted" at one of Heidi's work parties. Lauren asked Hedi if she was happy and said that if she was, that is all that is important. She said she missed her and made it clear that if Heidi ever needed her she would be there for her. It was clear that Lauren and Heidi new exactly where they stood. Lauren cares about Heidi and they both would like to be friends, but there would be no point in trying. Lauren knows Heidi has chosen Spencer over everyone in her life. She has chosen Spencer over her mom. Lauren doesn't have a chance at friendship. She cares about Heidi and would like to have something, but it is what it is and can't be anything else, so why try.

I think it was the best scene I have ever seen on the Hills and actually for a second made the show seem like the awfullness was purposeful. It almost appeared that the show tries to tell a story by not telling it. Then I realized the scene, just by luck, turned out the way it did and the show really is the biggest waste of time, piece of shit, that I have ever destroyed a half hour on.

And to only make that last sentence worse MTV has created two spin offs of this show. To think that there could possibly be enough content and substance from this non-show to create two more, is finally spitting in the face of the viewers MTV has so willing hood winked for the last three years.

Fake Thundercats Trailer....Nerd Alert!!!

2008-12-22T20:37:00.000-08:00

The Internets released a CGI enhanced Thundercats trailer with Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman, and Vin Diesel digitally enhanced to look like gay cat heroes. Its not really my thing because its a little too um how do I say ...nerdy. You know, not normal nerdy, but "paralyzed socially" nerdy. The video was made by the "high school quarterback" and the coolest kids in school no doubt. If the fact that this Lycra feline fantasy Thundercats trailer took over a year to make doesn't give you an idea of who the people are that made it, the fact that Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman, and Vin Diesel were chosen to be the stars should. And I am not insinuating that they are Ranga Homos. Just really dorky people who wish they were Brad Pitt from Troy.

The video is made up of scenes from other movies the actors are were in mixed with some Thundercats lingo and that "snarf snarf" cat. The CGI on the faces of the actors is quit impressive if you get a hard on for Green Lantern. I kid I kid. The video is fun to watch, but way more fun to make fun of. In all seriousness its really really cool. Really Really cool....

Price Is Right....Exactly Right....

2008-12-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

There are few shows that rank in awesomeness quit like The Prices Right. Whether it is Prime Time Prices with its incredible prizes, people falling down, Plinko, compilation videos of girls "coming on down", really bad bids, or really good bids, Prices Right Will always be entertaining and a favorite thing for people who like the lulz, like the lol, and like "the getting blazed before noon."

Today we were presented an early Christmas gift with a classic Price is Right moment when an old man got a perfect bid not once, but twice with one of the bids being the showcase showdown. Yes, the first time since 1972 someone has gotten the bid on their showcase show down perfectly correct. His childhood love interest, who he was separated from during a life of poverty and crime in the ghetto, was waiting for him outside after the producers interrogated him on cheating. (I guess I had to make the inevitable reference to Slum Dog Millionaire since I know everyone else must have as well).

This momentous occurrence was nearly ruined by Drew Carey's incredible ineptitude in hosting the show. He doesn't have to do much, the audience pretty much does his job for him, but regardless Mr. Carey nearly sucks all the excitement out of every awesome moment. After it was revealed that the old dude bid exactly right on the showcase show down, Drew Carey FAILED horribly at responding. I couldn't help to think how awesome it would have been if Bob Barker was the host or what it was like in the seventies when everyone was drunk or stoned on TV.

Here is what I heard in my head when I watched Drew Carey's performance during this classic moment:

Another Best of 2008

2008-12-18T18:45:00.000-08:00

I have talked about music (Bloc Party/ TVOTR) and videos (MIA BURAKA SOM SISTEMA) not I am adding TV to the mix. I am nominating/ deciding that Sunday night TV more specifically True Blood and Summer Heights High are the best TV of 2008.

I know that True Blood is based on the Sookie Stackhouse books and Summer Heights High was already on in Australia, but 2008 is when Americans audiences was treated to ground breaking entertainment. The two shows are completely different, but both highly addictive and entertaining. I thank Summer Heights High for introducing me to the term Ranga ( Orangutan slang for a Ginger) and Ranga Homo as a more pointed insult. I thank True Blood for introducing me to Anna Paquins boobs and Deep South Vampires. BTW I read all the books and this show is capable of going in crazy directions the next season ( werewolfs, werepanthers, orgies, and anti-vampire terrorists... and just wait till you see what hurricane Katrina does to vampire politics).

So lets all toast to Miss Annabel Dixon and Miss Sookie Stackhouse for making the tail end of 2008 a little less mind numbing!!!

And to hold you over till next season here is a scene from the pilot of True blood with a character that was taken out when it aired on MTV. SPOILER!!!!!!!!! That women in the blue dress is Sookies Fairy Godmother.

I LIKE BLOC PARTY

2008-12-18T18:31:00.000-08:00

So Silent Alarm was without a doubt one of the best albums of the 21st century. It was the soundtrack to many peoples "hip" life, and broke new ground in music. I remember hearing the album around the same time MIA Arular came out. I thought to myself that these are two musical artists recreating what is capable with sound. I hadn't been excited about music like I was in 2004/2005 in a long time. Ad the Knife- Heartbeats to that and I was on cloud nine.

Then Bloc Parties second album came out. I liked it, but in all seriousness it was a bit of a let down. The band was going in a different direction, and strayed from that raw dance punk euphoria. Well, Intimacy, the new album is awesome and very much a reminder of what Bloc Party is capable of. Some of the songs on this album are not only incredible songs, but may be the best work Bloc Party has ever written (Ion Square, Better Than heaven, Your Visits Are Getting Shorter). It is almost like Bloc Party is saying "yeah we can writes songs like songs on Silent Alarm, but that doesn't mean we are going to." Luckily they do, and boy are those songs worth the wait. I highly recommend this album, and although it came out near the end of 08, I am including it on my best of 2008 list. Tv on the Radio May Get the bulk of the attention this year, but Intimacy is an album that reminds everyone why Bloc Party made a mark on modern music that will never be forgottten.

Talons video

Flux Video

YOU FAIL!!!!

2008-12-18T18:22:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite things in the world in the word FAIL. Everything it represents on the internets is my soul and life blood. Nothing brings me Lulz quit like FAIL. This brings me to the FAIL blog. Right around 2:30 at work when I am feeling like I am not going to make it through the day i check this blog out. I highly recommend it. Here is another video for your pleasure.

Im Back!!!!

2008-12-18T18:11:00.000-08:00

I gave up blogging for a while for a number of reasons. First I am now a busy lawyer, so i don't have the time. Second, I was having trouble with the blog and wrote two really intricate well written posts that were lost by blogger. After getting frustrated I gave up blogging. Well, I have decided to try it again. I know no one actually reads this blog, but just for feeling like i am sharing fun stuff with people I am going to try it again.

I return to you with some of my favorite things of 2008. You know like Oprah, but not at all.

First off is my favorite video of 08. Dancing styles always start in the underground and creep up to the mainstream in Britney Spears or Rihanna videos. Check out this MIA Buraka Som Sistema video with dancers from Angola and Senegal. The song is sick, but pay attention because you will see this style on this summers So You Think You Can Dance and you can act all Hipsterish by saying " yeah been there done that!"

Pittsburgh "Takes Over" the Hills...Sort of...

2008-11-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

Don't you dare sink your boring claws into my city, Hills... Don't you dare. Pittsburgh got a couple of shout outs on the Hills last night, bringing more entertainment to the show than any grimace that Lauren could muster up. First off, Audrina mentioned her shitfest of a movie that was filmed in Pittsburgh on the Aftershow. Yes... I was going to waste a post talking about the filming of this movie on he Northside, but decided against it because I don't consider a Sorority horror movie with Potato Head Willis and Audrina Patridge something to be excited about even if it was filmed in the Burg.

Also on the after show they had one of the web cam-loser fans located in Pittsburgh. London, New York , LA, and....Pittsburgh. Take what you want from this, but any inclusion of Pittsburgh with real cities is a good thing.

Most importantly, the Takeover UK was featured as a "Playing Now," band with Ah La La. After years, the Takeover UK is slowing making its way into pop culture, and being from Pittsburgh, this was the most exciting thing about the episode. I know these guys and wish the best for them. I had their first single on a burned CD, and can't help be excited to hear them used on the Hills to prep an Audrina/ Bobby - Justin eyeball scene. Niiice. I've watched Girl Talk rise up through the ranks of the MTV world, and I can only hope to see the same thing with The Takeover UK. I remember when I got the first Girl Talk "boom-bip" sample and thought about how this guy could get huge. It was the same thing I thought hearing the Takeover UK promo. I tried to catch the UK at most of their Burg shows for a while, but I lost track of them when I went to law school. No worries, during law school I was reminded daily of the band by the Takeover UK sticker that someone vandalized the Appellate Practice bulletin board with. I thank that person because without them I would not have been entertained the slightest tonight watching the Hills!!!

GOD DAMMIT!!!!

2008-11-13T12:42:00.000-08:00

I just lost this really great post that I wrote about Sarah, Bristol , and Piper Palin. Basically it was about how at one time I thought that Piper Palin would grow up to do great things because of her obvious pleasure in being on stage and in the public eye. Then I saw her with a (fake) Louis Vouitton bag and with high heels on in the Today Show segment, to which I immediately altered said opinion. My new opinion was about how she will be Bristol 2.0 in the 2012 campaign causing more trouble by being sluttier and more Parasite Hiltonish. I swear, it was a very intelligent, Salonish.comish piece. I even had video of the Today Show with said heels. Well blogger went and fucked it up by erasing it instead of saving. I know its hard to keep the two straight (stupid blogger). So instead I am posting this incredible video Sarah Shaffer posted wrapping up the campaign on Best Week Ever. Pay special attention for Piper Palins appearance. Its no Heel or Loius Vouitituituitoooion, but it is just as awesome.

Campaign for the President: A Tribute @ Yahoo! Video

A Sex Change We Can Believe In!!!!

2008-11-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

This week didn't just stand for change in the nations most important office. No, change was felt through out the nations political system from state wide elections to small town mayors. In by far the hottest race of the 2008 political elections, Stu Rasmussen beat out incumbent mayor Ken Hector. This is Rasmussen's third term as mayor of Silverton ( A town with 9,600 people...I know...This means he's qualified to be governor of Alaska and a VP candidate as well). What is going to be different for Stu this time? Well for starters he is now a women. Yes, Stu Rasmussen will be coming back to city hall dressed as a woman with breast implants and size 11 3 inch heels. Rasmussen, 60, a local politician since 1984, has been elected twice as city mayor in 1988 and 1990. However, at that time, he did his official affairs wearing shirts and pants. Stu Rasmussen publicly transitioned into a women the years in between his terms as mayor. With the support of the town, and with a campaign slogan about preserving the community, Rasmussen was able to win win his third term as mayor by more than 400 votes ( which is alot when 4,000 barley voted). Stu says hes a fiscal conservative, a social liberal, and hot ass slut!

Apparently Stu Rasmussen likes to dress in miniskirts and black boots, and some say she is the ,kind of women who can stop traffic.( Ok The Sarah Palin comparisons need to stop). She has been cross dressing for 15 year starting out small just getting her nails done then going out in full Tranny gear. Stu says hes a straight dude in a woman's body. He has been with the same women for 30 years. Policy issues dominated the race because everyone knew Stu and didn't have a problem with him.

I'll say it again, What is with Trannies lately???? I previously did a post on this, but the Tranny Train is moving full steam ahead. There was the pregnant man, the Tranny Chicken, the Top Model Tranny, Tila Tequila, Aubrey Odey, Onch the Asian kid from Paris Hilton New Best Friend, and Transtasia ( Doc about Transgendered beauty pageants that won a bunch of awards at Cannes). Watch out world, if things continue down this path, I think I see the Republican candidate for 2012. He has just as much experience as Sarah Palin, wants to cut the government fat, is a Maverick, and knows how to rock a pair of leather boots. Ladies and Gentlemen Stu Rasmussen will not stop at mayor, you thought it was history with Obama being the first African American president. Well, watch 2012 will be the year of the first Tranny president. Video below of hot ass Stu being interviewed in front of his favorite 4 a.m. corner. I kid, I kid.

Sunday Video

2008-11-09T15:32:00.001-08:00

Here is a clip of Summer Heights High. If you can, make sure you start watching this show. It premiers tonight on HBO. It is on at 10:30 after Entourage and True Blood. Yes...Sunday is turning into an incredible night of television rivaling Wednesday and Thursday in laziness. And BTW how fucking awesome is True Blood? Paquin boobs, possum demon lady, crazy V trips. I am interested to see if Jason frees the vampire he has hidden in his basement or if that crazy hippie bitch fucks everything up... And poor Bill, Snookie has really got him in bad with the Vampires. I think that there is a lot about Bill we don't know, and his intentions with Snookie aren't exactly what they appear to be. Anyway here is that clip I mentioned.

Election Night With Obama... On Flickr?

2008-11-07T06:13:00.000-08:00

So Barack Obama has a Flickr account...and he's posted candid shots of him and his family in their hotel room as they find out they will be the new first familiy of the country. Pretty amazing. The thumbnails are intimate, moving, and annother example of how this administration will be open and different than the previous. Go here if you wish to see these photos. Warning: Flickr is having a difficult time keeping up with the traffic. It keeps hicupping.

What The Hell is Happening to Fox News

2008-11-06T18:03:00.000-08:00

Change is really coming to America. When Fox News is turning into an actual news station that questions the McCain campaign and right wing spew, you know things are really swaying in a different direction. You don't believe me. Follow me here:

1) Carl Cameron - Brings forward the backlash of McCain against Palin revealing to the world that Palin didn't know that Africa was a continent and not a country. This began the reporting on McCain's campaign attacking Palin.

2) Sheppard Smith - Sheppard called Joe the Plumber on his repeated statement that a vote for Obama is a vote for the destruction of Israel. Smith would not let Joe the Plumber get away with lies about Obama and disdain for Obama's tax policy when Joe is on welfare and makes income that would give him a tax cut.

3) Major Garret- Major has stuck up for Obama stating that Fox News, more specifically, Fox and Friends has been unfair to Barack and has been spreading false statements about the new presidents views and background. His email rails against the station.

4) Karl Rove and Chris Wallace- Both celebrated Obama's win as something we should all be proud of as Americans and that everyone should celebrate this hopeful moment.

5)With Rupert Murdoch and his wife coming out in favor of Obama, will Roger Ailes decide that Fox News will finally become a real investigative journalism station or be honest about what they are?

Looks Like Just Enough Time Has Passed....Here Comes the Hate!

2008-11-06T15:06:00.000-08:00

Western Pennsylvania pulled through and overwhelmingly elected Barack Obama, even though they were accused of being "racist", "redneck", and clingful of their god and guns. Well....don't get to excited about the whole Obama support thing. Western PA still wants you to know they really know how to HATE!!!

In Greenville, Mercer County a black family named the Whitesides (I know) was congratulated by their racist caucasian neighbors with a fireball in their Dodge Intrepids gas tank. The fire ball blew up their car and almost spread to their house before old man Whiteside was able to put it out. If there is any doubt this was a racist attack based in hate let me tell you this. The fireball started during Obama's exceptance speech, and the name Obama was spray painted all over the car. NICE!! Not to be out done, Forest Hills, PA also wants everyone to know they are still full of hate. There, a black man found a note on his car that said, "Obama may have won, but you and your house are still in danger."

I find this all so amusing. John Murtha nearly lost his seat in the House of Represenatives because he said this area of PA was racist. Obama had his comments, and was chastized for them too. Now since the election is over and the Republicnas are now admitting that Palin was just as stupid and under qualified as we all thought, can we now all admit that Murtha was right that blue collar America is/was racist? It won't even cost you the election

When Words Have Lost Their Ability to Make You Feel Turn to Music!!!

2008-11-05T14:03:00.000-08:00

This whole Obama son of Kansas women and man from Kenya as leader of the free world thing is just as indescribable to me today as it was last night. The sheer hope, excited, and absolute admiration that I have for my country is at a level that I have never experienced in my life. This proves to me that America really is the greatest country in the world, and for once I don't give a shit whether I am offending Europeans when I say that!! We come back harder than ever when you put us down, and we create new bright light just when you think are bulb is burnt.

I have been reading so many linguistic attempts at explaining how people feel on the blogs today that words are beginning to loose their ability to express. Well... at least for me. So what I have decided to do is post the top 5 Obama music videos/ songs that capture what some people are saying around the net. Please comment and give me your thoughts on a good song to mix with Obama celebration videos!!

Coldplay: Viva La Vida/ Fix You- People need make a Obama video of his campaign and win medley to these songs stat!!!!!!!!!!

JOHN LENNON- IMAGINE- What this song makes you feel and represents is a hope and belief in a place and time when everyone together celebrates and hopes for unity and greatness for all. When millions of people all over the world celebrate for new time when all people can prosper and live happily. What John Lennon was singing about in that song was what we experienced and saw last night when Obama was announced winner and gave his speech. Incredible!!!

ARCADE FIRE- No Cars Go- Come on do I need to explain this one??(sorry about quality wanted the video from a rally)

OLD TIME- Obama supporters- This video perfectly represents the grass roots bottom up people of all back rounds coming together to celebrate and work to get this incredible man elected and produce
this momentous time in history!

LOVE GENERATION- Bob Sinclair ( or World Hold On which I put above) I figured a dance song about what this movement represents and how the world feels right now is fitting. World Hold on would have worked for the campaign as people were mobilizing to elect Obama

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!!!!!!! Us Kids Know...

2008-11-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

The first black president, the first president we can all believe in, and the first president that makes young people excited about politics. YES WE DID!!! Congrats!!! A new day is upon us. For a good laugh listen to the desperation and insanity of the talk radio right. They are having psychotic breaks.

P.S. No Cars Go...It just makes sense

Hey Stupid Ashley Todd...This is How You Get People Excited to Vote!!!

2008-11-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

This is by far the highlight of this years election. When I see things like this it makes me get excited about the political system. Screw Obama's half hour TV spot, or McCain's shameless distortion of Mr. Clean (Joe the Plumber). These kids have the excitement and fun that voting should be all about. This is the Atlanta Boys and Girls Youth Choir doing their incredible remix of T.I.'s Whatever You Like. The choir put their own spin on the song singing "You Can Vote However You Like." Pay attention to the words. Not only do you get educated in each candidates platforms, but you get to hear lyrics like "I want Obama stick with McCain and you'll have drama!" The best part is that the performance is completely bi-partisan with a West Side Story esq back and forth. This has made the agony of mind numbing political discourse a little more tolerable. Something as simple as a bunch of kids singing has made me rededicated to the political system. No candidate can get people interested in politics and excited about voting like these kids do. Enjoy!

Its Been a Long Time Since Harry Potter Has Left You ...Without a Dope Beat to Step to!!!

2008-10-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

It has arrived!!! The Half Blooded Prince trailer is all over the Internets ( and it is not fake this time). So while you have been coping with Potter withdrawl by watching Panda dirty dance and Chimps riding Segways, the Harry Potter movie machine has returned with the Chosen One coming into his own. I know...shut up, and give me the damn video... Here you go. Below are two previews for the beginning of the Wizard war:

Thank you sir can have have another? Of course you can

Sunday Video

2008-10-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

This week I have blessed everyone with two animal videos from the Internets. YOU will not be disappointed. One of things that you can always count on from the Internets are viral videos involving lovable animals doing....lovable things. Today I offer you a Panda doing something with its naughty bits shamelessly exposed, and a Chimp discovering the sheer joy of the Segway. Thank me, then remember to say a little prayer tonight thanking the powers that be for the creation of the Internets.

Beware of the Obama Slasher Pittsburgh!!!! The East End Rapist Has Nothing on This Animal!!!

2008-10-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: To the shock, awe, suprise, and relief of everyone, stupid bitch Ashley Todd has admitted to making up the whole story in an attempt to play on the racist sentiment of Western PA. Nothing like a good old Rovian political trick. May Ashley Todd forever be spoken in the same sentence, and with equal humliation, as Jeff Haybay!!!!

If you having been living in a cave you have no idea what I am talking about... or you don't live in Pittsburgh. Either way you have to hear about this crazy story involving the "wrong side of Pittsburgh,"a black man, a lonely McCain supporter/ campaigner/ College Republican, and the letter B (backwards...yes B not O).

Let me introduce you to stupid bitch Ashley Todd. Stupid Ashley claims that she was robbed and sexually assaulted for $60 at an ATM machine in Bloomfield on Liberty Avenue. Here's the best part. She claims it was a Black Man, and guess what? He became enraged when he saw her McCain bumper sticker or pin (she doesn't really remember which one). And guess what again? He carved the letter "B" into her right cheek after assaulting her (he must have been doing it in a mirror because it is backwards...and her face looks like a 5 year old playing with their moms makeup for the first time). Stupid Ashley was so upset she refused medical treatment after reporting it to the police. In said report, Ashley explained that she was trying to avoid bank fees by looking for a Bank of America ATM, and somehow "ended up on the wrong side of town." Blooomfield....wrong side of town... yeah I know, she is such a stupid bitch.

One last guess what. Ashley was also bloggin on Twitter directly before and directly after the incident, and she is a College Republican. Yes, the same College Republicans who in 2006 claimed Justin Zatkoff had been beaten up by a black/homosexual militant in Michigan. Battle ground play for racist voters similarity? Or just a coincidence?

Let me leave you with one final "guess what" to ponder. Police now want to give Stupid Ashley a polygraph test because none of this is adding up. Ashley has responded by saying she fell in and out of consciousness during the assault. Well call me Jeff Habay, and send myself Anthrax!!!!! I think she may be telling the truth. Guess What? yeah right.

How Can the Office Still Be So Good, but Heroes has Become so Bad?

2008-10-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

The Office had one of its best episodes yet last night. Michael and Holly have consummated their relationship, the Office got robbed as a result, ....and The Boss caught something interesting when he showed up for a charity event (Not Bruce Springsteen. You just have to watch it) Dwight fought the "Battle of Helms Deep" for Angela with the "help" of Phyllis (the best scenes of the night in my opinion). It is amazing to me the Office is able to maintain such a high level of television. It may even be better than when it started. Usually shows fall in the crapper as seasons go on. The show is apologetically itself...like most good shows. Hell, no one even watches 30 Rock even after winning an Emmy, but the show won't change and that's what makes it so good.

Heroes.... On the other hand has completely destroyed itself and what was once a refreshing entertaining piece of television is now a cliched mess. I have to say something on this even though Monday was at the beginning of the week (sorry I am now a real life lawyer...just like William Shatner. The show started with so much promise. It was an uncanny human deliberation on ordinary people with special powers that just happen to be living in society. Unfortunately, it has now become a soap opera with mutant superheroes. The plot lines suck big time, it is not nearly as addicting and engaging as season 1, and there is only one person left on the show who is non-mutant. What happened to the ordinary/ extraordinary dichotomy? If you don't agree, just keep an eye out for next week's preview. If you are not paying attention you could mistake it for a Passions or Days of Our Lives Friday promo. I cry for Heroes. They have completely sold out for viewers. The producers panicked when ratings went down. Viewers have never quite recovered from the writers strike, and from the looks of it, neither have the writers.

It doesn't matter how bad Heroes is as long as I have that sleazy Vampire show to tune into every Sunday night on HBO. Vampires +Anna Paquin Boobs + Alan Ball + Louisiana= Best Show on overpriced cable stations.

Finally Pittsburgh Makes National News For All the Right Reasons...

2008-10-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

Pittsburgh occasionally makes it into the national news 24 hour media blitz. Lately the burg got some love for having a women kill a young pregnant girl, cut out the unborn child, and sell it to another women. Not the kind of thing you want your city to be remembered for. Well, Pittsburgh slightly redeemed itself yesterday by grabbing headlines with one very incredible young man eating a 20 pound hamburger (15 pounds of meet 5 pounds of toppings) in five hours. So now Pittsburgh can be known for its endless supply of reality tv contestants, salads and sandwiches with french fries on them, "jagoffs", and unborn baby thiefs. (Alright... UPMC, The Steelers, Penguins, Carnegie, Girl Talk.....Now shut up!)

The news is saying this happened near Pittsburgh, but it actually happened nowhere near the Burg. This shining example of human ingenuity and accomplishment actually took place 100 miles northeast of Pittsburgh in Clearfield PA at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub. The masochist was 5-foot-11, 180-pound chef Brad Sciullo (of Uniontown- getting closer to city limits). Brad managed to down the monster meal in 4 hours and 39 minutes. He wins the restaurant's burger challenge by finishing under the five-hour limit. He waddles away with more than a horrendous case of diarrhea. Sciullo wins $400, three T-shirts and a certificate. I bet the T-Shirts say "I ate 20 pounds of artery clogging hamburger and all i got was this lousy T-Shirt." The only thing that could make this story better is if that burger was a giant "Hamburger Fatty Melt." You know what I am talking about...no? It also would have been nice if this happened actually in the city. Like say at Tessaro's or Fat Heads, but having our great city's name associated (even if factually incorrect) with such awesomeness is good enough for me.

Kristen Wigg is Gods Gift to People Who Like to Laugh...

2008-10-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

The Thursday night Weekend Update has been pretty unmemorable aside from Tina Fey as Sarah Palin and the occasional week end update joke. That was before Kristen Wigg made her presence more known. This bitch is fucking funny as hell. She is without a doubt the new breakout star of SNL. Soon enough she will have her own comedy show that everyone loves, but no one watches, or her very own romantic comedy flop.

Yesterday Wigg introduced the world to one of the best impersonations of the 2008 Presidential Election.....The "Crazy McCain Lady," She is crazy...no? The sad part is that there are people all over America who think and say things just like her. The happy part is that they look like a homeless spinsters walking down the street with 10 stray cats, a fanny pack (Yes crazy lady was wearing a fanny pack), and a shopping cart full of rite aid plastic bags. Why is that good? Because it allows Wigg to do the bad ass impersonation below.

Why Can't American Media Be This Honest????

2008-10-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

I was sent this video of Aljazeera reporting on hate and racism in American politics (thanks Ben ...I guess). It is amazing that we all know that this exists and that people think this way, yet mainstream media will not report about it and tip toe around this elephant in the room. Lets all be adults. There are alot of ignorant Americans. Hey, John Murtha said it about his own constituents.

Living in Western Pennsylvania and frequently visiting West Virginia I have heard on numerous occasions Obama be accused of being a muslim terrorist. I have further heard people flat out say that they will not vote for a black man to be president and that other people are only voting for Obama because he is black. I know, makes a lot of sense. So you either vote for or against skin color when it comes to the president of the most powerful nation in the world?? How does Racism not collapse in on itself under the weight of its own irrational nonsensical lack of logic? Watch the video below, then seriously consider building a bomb shelter, leaving the country, or contributing to the creation of an Obama like Pope Mobile.

McCain Does His Best Mr. Wilson Impression...

2008-10-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

When the last presidential debate began I really thought McCain was going to give a knock out performance. He started out incredibly well thoughtfully explaining how his policies differed from Obama on a theoretical level and on a practical level. He very effectively made the argument about how Republican philosophy is best for the country.....Then came the dirty campaign question.

Things got bad real quick. You could just see McCain having a stroke right before your eyes. He got angry, accusatory, reactionary and quickly got off message. Instead of telling about what he was going to do to solve the problems of the country, he began acting like a child giving Obama the side eye and whining about Obama's eloquence. I can't wait to see that little line that CNN does during the debate because McCain's positives line is going to drop faster than the stock market when that discussion began.

McCain reminded me of Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace. I could just picture him saying "get off my lawn Obama!" His face looked like his hemorrhoid was driving him nuts. It was either over emotion or major IBS!!! McCain was using every anger management tactic in the books and still couldn't calm himself down. Go back and watch McCains face during the debate. It is a gallery of someone doing everything they can to not jump across the table and strangle the person sitting across from them. McCain is done. Fork. Over...

Any Bad Madonna News is Good Madonna News!!!

2008-10-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

All that shit we heard over the summer about Madonna and Guy Ritchie divorcing, and Madonna having an affair with A-Rod was......wait for it....wait for it....TRUE!!!! Yeah!!! Madonna's rep has confirmed that Madge is releasing her scary muscle grip of Guy Ritchie's nuts and the two are legally separating and divorcing. Does this mean that Guy Ritchie can go back to making good movies?

Apparently, crazy -muscle- hulk- he- lady- arrogant-no-talent- botox- dragon wanted to complete her world tour before making the split official. Heaven forbid your family get in the way of stealing 400 dollars from your brain washed fans. I hate her... To bad Kaballah doesn't teach you how to succeed in a relationship and stop being so self worshiping.

There are reports that Madonna has definitely been romantically involved with A-Rod and that the marriage has been over for at least a year. Guy Ritchie is packing his shit up and moving out of the home they share. He has told his parents and things are quickly moving along. This is such good news after the bad news I got about BWE. This has officially made my day. The only thing that could make this better is if we find out Madonna's tour has been a complete failure, and her new crappy movie goes straight to DVD (which it looks like may be happening). I only wish the Brits run her out of town, throwing rotten tomatoes and wilted cabbage at her private jet. Better yet, they should burn a pile of her children's book The English Rooooooses, and make the horse who knocked her on her ass and broke her arm a national hero. That feels better....Damn you VH1.

Don't You Dare Fuck With Best Week Ever...

2008-10-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

The New York Times is reporting that Best Week Ever will be changing its five year format to compete with The Soup and other pop culture weeklies. The show will now be called Best Week Ever With Paul F. Thompkins. The show will eliminate the "multiple commentators" aspect of the show and continue with a new format centered on a single host. The host will be Paul F. Thompkins. I very much enjoy Thompkins place on the show, but I am deeply troubled with the direction that the show may go. Thompkins is funny, but he lacks the snarky, um, how do I say....mean spirited bite that made BWE my go to show on the weekend. The show was my savior reminding me that there are other people in the world who view pop culture and mainstream entertainment with the same disdain and WTFness that I do (I can only hope that my personal Prozac - Best Week Ever Blog will remain the same and non-molested)

I understand that BWE gets destroyed by The Soup, but come on, going the pussy route of kissing celebrity ass is not going to win any viewers. The Soup is ruthless to anyone who shows their face on TV. Each show has its good points, and they each offer something different. I like them both the way they are. Asking me to choose between the two is worse than Sophie's Choice. It is like being asked to pick a favorite Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor or deciding what show to leave off of my DVR recording list (damn DVR with its "I can only record two shows at once shit).

I plead to VH1 DON'T FUCK THIS UP. If you hurt my precious Best Week Ever, I will hunt you down, tie you up, and force you to sit and watch that Denise Richards show. You are already in the Dog House with me after giving Vivica Fox a TV show. It has only gotten worse with the spin offs Real Chance of Love and Daisy of Love. Be careful....your viewers may be pathetic, but we are not that pathetic. If you push us too far, we may be forced to get up off of the couch to find the controller and change the station!!!!

Fun With Politics... Sort of...

2008-10-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

At this point I think that everyone is about defeated when it comes to politics. We have three weeks left before the election, and I'm not sure I'll be able to make it. The 24 hour news stations are seizure inducing and the sound of Sean Hannity's voice makes me feel like I am going through Heroin withdrawal. With that said, I feel like it would do everyone good to have some fun with politics. Hence, I bring you three websites/ videos that can serve as Internet Valium for the relentless media coverage of the political -economic tsunami.

First up: Palin as President.com-

This website lets you explore the nightmare that could come to fruition if Palin would somehow change shells and move into the Oval Office. You can explore the possibilities/ disasters by moving the mouse over different things in the office and clicking on objects. Keep your eye out for the Dinosaur running around outside the window, the science magazine in the garbage, and the "Iranastan" globe. Make sure you don't answer the phone.

Next: Dancing With the Political Stars

This video was actually shot with real dancers doing their best impression of how the politicians would dance. MiniMovie later added the heads of each national leader. My favorite is without a doubt Bush (ROTFL), although the face of Al Gore is also worth some Lulz.

Lastly: La Pequena Sarah Palin

Anyone familiar with La Pequena knows that no introduction is necessary. If you are not familiar, get educated!!! This is La Paquena's best work to date destroying La Pequena Hillary Clinton and La Pequena Amy Whinehouse. Please, Please, Please watch up to the 55 second mark. You will be rewarded with a gift only the Internet could give!!!

Some Things Are Better Left Untouched...

2008-10-12T22:11:00.001-07:00

Skank School returned tonight, and basically revealed itself as Rock of Love minus Bret Michaels. I am glad VH1 got the memo and realized that these girls are just trashcans that don't even need a penis to fight over. They are still capable of being the exact opposite of elegant, which is exactly what we want. This brings me to my next point. Why do we want to change these....uh...women. They are perfect the way they are. Saying they need to change is like saying the Mona Lisa needs to some extra shading around her lips.

The show started off as expected with Dallas throwing an apple at Lacy's head. Then Courtney (the dumb drunk bitch who slept through the first episode of Rock of Love) got drunk, passed out, and booted from the show. At least she is consistant. The show looks like it is going to be your typical Ho off with fighting, spitting, crying, and drunken flooze. Exactly....perfect TV. Sharron Osbourne wears the hasmat suit this time with back up from... Ricky Rachtman (Ha).

Sunday Video

2008-10-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

It looks like Sunday Video is turning into my only post. I am sure that I will get back on my game as I start getting settled into my new job. Anyway, this weeks video is in honor of the return of V. Since everything from the 80's and 90's is being redone, ABC has decided to bring back V (the original miniseries) from 1983. You may have to strain your brain to remember this gem, but I was thinking about this show the other day, remembering the cool action figures and laser guns I had. The figures even had mask that could be taken off to reveal their alien faces!!! This show was the shit. I am leaving out the best thing about the show. If you don't remember watch the video.

If there is one thing to help Americans through this shitty economic time its hamster eating aliens. You know we are really headed toward the 1992 recession when everything you see is from the 1980's or the early 1990's. I am sure I will watch it. Hey, give me an episode of V and Real Housewives of Atlanta and my night is set.....so sad...so sad.

Picture Worth A Thousand Words...

2008-10-08T14:26:00.001-07:00

A British tourist was arrested for swimming naked in the moat of the Japanese Imperial Palace. He swam in the moat then scaled the Palaces 25ft wall. Please insert your Godzilla joke HERE. Television footage showed him getting out of the water at one point and chasing police with a rock and a construction site pole. He then went back to the murky water and swam across to the other side of the moat. He was caught by two policemen after a chase that media said lasted for an hour and a half. Do I really need to even ad any snarky or witty comments to this story? I think that it stands by itself. I will ask the same question I asked about the bar tender monkey in Japan. What is more funny, the naked British guy or the Japanese people?

First Sarah Palin is Nominated for Vice President, Now Beverly Hills Chihuahua is Number One at the Box Office...What Has This World Come to?

2008-10-06T17:55:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: It pains me to even write this but somehow, someway, this shit storm has remained the #1 movie in America for two straight weeks. I have a feeling that American Carrol and Disaster Movie could not even hold a candle to this diarrhea chunk, but Americans are going to see it anyway. They will waste 10 bucks on this and waste a vote on McCain. U-S-A... U-S-A...

Beverly Hills Chihuahua was #1 at the box office this week making $29, 300,456. Let me repeat, Beverly Hills Chihuahua was #1 at the weekend box office. WTF!!! What is this country coming to? How in the hell could this movie make this much money? I know it's probably a kid's movie that tends to make Saturday afternoon money, but let me remind everyone that this is a movie based on a dog from a Taco Bell ad with heavy ties to Paris Hilton. If this is aimed at kids, then the future of America is in trouble. We are in an economic crisis and we are entertaining our kids with a movie about a pampered Beverly Hills dog. I know... it's an act of domestic terrorism.

Anyforchristsake, I didn't see the movie about Chihuahua's this week, but rather choose to see Religulous. While people who think saw Religulous, people who don't think went and saw An American Carrol. Its how the cookie crumbles. Religulous was pretty good. It really asks questions that everyone should ask. They are questions that most people of faith don't ask. The movie basically makes the point that most religions have doctrines that, if detached from religion, would be laughed at and disregarded as crazy by society. Most of what religions teach is factually inaccurate and requires a suspension of rational thought to follow. They are unscientific, nonsensical, and ridiculous statements. If it wasn't spoken under the cover of faith and religion, people would never take it serious. For people like myself and Maher, we would rather not have an answer for why we are here and what existence is than have the answers that religions give. I would rather continue to question than believe something that goes against everything that I have learned and understood about the world and science.

The movie does a great job of showing how people of faith are beginning to push their way of thought from religion into secular culture. Their unscientific blind belief in non rational events is now being offered as a way of thinking about things other than god. For example, intelligent design and reformation of homosexuals are theories that people of faith are supporting. Just how rational thought is suspended in religion, people are now doing the same when it comes to secular topics. Facts and science are useless. Man existed side by side with the Dinosaurs and Homosexuals can be change into heterosexuals. All you have to do is believe it enough. These people think that if you believe it enough it will become fact, and that is scary. If you believe Beverly Hills Chihuahua is a good movie, then it is. This country and world is in some major shit....

Sunday Video...

2008-10-05T22:38:00.000-07:00

Tina Fey is on a major high doing Sarah Palin. She was at it again this weekend spoofing the debate. Queen Latifah was Gwen Ifel and pay particular attention to how she reacts to Palin's answers. It almost makes the whole skit. Its like she is saying "What the Hell..." Palin's pose at the end with the Flute is also priceless.

HAPPY 250th Pittsburgh!!!

2008-10-05T20:59:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the city of Pittsburgh's 250th birthday. The city celebrated by having the largest fireworks display this town has ever witnessed. Fireworks were shot of from 18 different locations on Saturday night. Explosives were ignited from the US Steel building, the bridges which stripe the city, and barges floating in the three rivers. The million-dollar extravaganza was complete with a flotilla, concerts in the park, and a 335-mile bicycle ride from Washington along the Great Allegheny Passage.

Festivities started early yesterday morning, when each of the Three Rivers was closed for a flotilla that included more than 100 ships, including the Delta Queen. The morning's opening ceremony included a historic flag ceremony in which dozens of area Eagle Scouts carried a huge American flag from one end of Point State Park to another. The party celebrated the people who made Pittsburgh what it is, like steelmaker and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie, and the things that will shape its future. "The whole theme is Pittsburgh: Imagine what you can do here," said Bill Flanagan, director of Pittsburgh 250, which organized the yearlong celebration.

After the French abandoned what was then Fort Duquesne in 1758, Forbes renamed the outpost Pittsburgh in honor of British Prime Minister William Pitt. Because of the rivers, the city was considered the Gateway to the West and evolved into an industrial giant, only to lose much of its manufacturing base in the last two decades. It has become a center for science, medicine and technology, whose hills and riverfront make it a tourist destination.

Myself and many Pittsburghers are hopelessly dedicated to this city. As much as I complain, I still love this city and believe it offers just as much if not more than other cities. We as Pittsburgh residents have to take advantage of what we have and support all the wonderful things here. There is so much to do and celebrate in the city, but many don't take advantage of it. They would rather hide in the suburbs. People who live here must "act and think like tourists." If we do, we will have another 250 years to celebrate. I know the Steelers are a great team which we all love, but there is more than a team to rally around and get excited about as residents of this great city. Long live Pittsburgh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Where's the Beef???

2008-10-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

The Vice Presidential debate is over, and hopefully so is the Palin gush machine. After generally making a fool out herself with the "tough as nails interviewer" Katie Couric, all of America was ready for a Nascar esque car crash of a debate. Well that didn't happen. Palin remembered all of her prewritten answers that were nothing more than campaign platitudes and running mantras. "Reign in government spending," "Cut taxes," "Maverick bipartisanship," and "Joe Six pack." Palin didn't get smashed by the Hole in the Wall like most expected, so her supporters are now claiming she is the most brilliant mind ever to make it to the national political scene. They fail to mention that she didn't answer the questions asked, called senator Biden senator "O'Biden," and made numerous mistakes about the number of troops in Iraq and the name of the general in Afghanistan. For the most part both candidates really did a good job, and Palin benefited from not being forced to, you know....name a supreme court case. Gotcha journalism...HA.

What I find so telling about Republicans is that they are now back on the bandwagon saying she is qualified just because she was able to form coherent (barely) complete sentences in response to questions she wasn't even asked. When asked about whether people who defaulted on mortgages should be able to refinance and get a lower principal, she talked about energy and taxes. Awesome. Palin said she will not answer the way Biden or Gwen Ifel want. I guess she forgot that was her only requirement: to follow the rules of the debate.

The main problem I saw was that there was no substance or specifics to any answers she gave. Biden talked about voting records, numbers, and statistics. He gave locations and specific policy examples about Israel, while Palin just gave vague general answers. If that is doing a good job then I have no idea what a good job is. The fact that the bar was so low for Palin, let her give barely sensible answers to questions and still look good. I feel that Sarah Palin could (don't kill me) be a good leader at some point in the future, but there is no way you can watch this debate and say Palin won or was more qualified than Biden at this time. Biden did an incredible job. He explicitly gave examples of how he and Obama are different that the "Mavericks", and talked about how McCain's views and policy history is not good for the country at this time. Anyone who says Plain won the debate would have said the same if she came out and said " I give up, Alaska, Energy, Taxes, and reign in spending." Wait....umm...

BTW- Fox News just had a poll saying that Palin won the debate according to viewers by 87%. WTF!!!! The economy may be a problem, but the epidemic of stupidity is the real problem that is ruining this country. Also, I love the whole Ifel controversy. No one is talking about the mediator bias now that Palin has established herself as the greatest most brilliant debater ever to stand behind a podium!!!!!

Bill Orielly Likes to Discuss in a Calm Controlled Manner...

2008-10-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

Barney Frank was on Bill O talking (more like screaming) about the mortgage crisis and the "Macs". Barney Frank tends to be a grumpy -old- angry- man....just like Bill O, but today Orielly completely curmudgeoned him out. We all know what happens when grumpy old men are up past their bed time. Its the same thing that happens when they are in traffic or have bad service at a restaurant. Barney Frank tried to talk, but Bill just basically used him as a punching bag and blamed him for the financial crisis. If this is the way people think we are going to solve problems in this country we, we are fuckety fucked. Barney Frank is a very intelligent guy that was shamelessly disrespected. If you listen to him he, which Bill doesn't, you see that he was making a lot of sense. Instead Orielly does what he does best. Tabloid, glossy, faux-journalistic filth. And yes I will be watching tomorrow. It is far from journalism and intelligent political discussion, but like A Current Affair, it is entertaining. Watch this and enjoy. It will be EVERYWHERE!!

11 Year Old Leads Police on 10 Mile Chase!!! Wheres Latarian?

2008-09-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

!!!!!!!!UPDATE:!!!!!!!! I must be psychic or something. Are favorite seven year old thug Latarian was also in the news today for stealing his grandmothers car.....AGAIN!!! He must have heard about the 11 year old from Pittsburgh and didn't want to be upstaged. How thug life. Anyfuckedupchild, how the hell do you let your grandchild, not once, but twice steal your car and go on a joyride????? I would have by fucking retina installed as a pass key to open the car. Those keys would be in a safety deposit box!!! Latarian's grandmother had just got her car back from the last fiasco when he stole it again and totaled it!!! This kid doesn't have a chance. Either do we....Here is video of Latarian's latest grand theft auto arrest.

On Sunday night an 11 year old foster child stole his foster mothers Toyota station wagon and led PA state troopers on a 85 mph chase on interstate 70. Troopers used a "pit" maneuver to get the 11 year old to loose control of the car. I wonder if the 11 year was watching Josh Groban on the Emmy's when he went crazy... actually he probably just finished watching the Steelers lose. The boy had just moved in with his foster parents in North Strabane township near Cokeburg on Wednesday( around Washington PA). The mother left her keys in the car and the boy helped himself. The youth is charged with aggravated assault, recklessly endangering another person, resisting arrest, fleeing and attempting to elude a police officer and 27 traffic violations.

I couldn't help report this without thinking of America's favorite 7 year old criminal.

The Latarian Milton phenomenon is sweeping across the nation. Just earlier a 16 year and 13 year old were arrested for car jacking near Century 3 Mall in Pittsburgh. Kids everywhere "want to do bad things," and "do hood rat stuff" with their friends. Latarian Milton needs to go on a cross country tour spreading his message to kids everywhere, and bringing his act to the masses. And just because,....here's another video of Latarian being the greatest kid in the world.

Finally Its on You Tube!!!! Josh Groban Torture!!!!!

2008-09-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

Last Night I was pretty much jonesing for True Blood, just like those perverted Vampires on that sacrilegious show. (I will get to a post on that in a bit- does anyone else have to take a shower after watching that show?). I had to DVR the show so that Kara could watch Bridzilla (I couldn't 't tape Bridzilla because some idiot created the DVR so that you have to watch one of the two things you are taping, and can't change the channel....you know what I mean). During a commercial on Bitchzillas I change the channel to see the score of the Sunday Night Game, but "accidentally" put on the Emmy's. To my shock/ horror/ luck/entertainment I saw that disaster that is captured below.

Just like a car accident I couldn't look away. It was Josh Groban singing a mega-mix of famous television theme songs..... Grimace....The anticipation of what song was coming next continued my self torture, pushing it further and further into Masochism. If you don't know what I am talking about view the video below. (and pay close attention to his facial expressions). If you do know what I am talking about, let me tell you watching it again is not any easier. If you are a able to make it to the South Park theme you are a better man than me.

Sunday Video...

2008-09-21T11:42:00.000-07:00

Its that time again. The easiest post of the week. This week I have been down so I have been looking for things to make me laugh. The insanity of others works pretty well....and Charles Manson is definitely insane.

Trying to Cheer Up...

2008-09-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have been a little down lately...sorry, 8 about previous post. That explains the lack of posting (as if anyone reads this site). Just having problems adjusting to some life changes. Not sure if anyone else is having some problems, but wanted to let you know that this link will definitely make you feel better, if only temporarily. It is worth it. It is a list of celebrity fall down videos put together by Michelle Collins ( who can always put a smile on a my face when I am down). This is major Lulz, which I try to use everyday to live my life. Maybe that is the problem.

The Fundamentals of the US Economy are Sound....For the Rich!

2008-09-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

As I was watching Million Dollar listing last night on Bravo! I couldn't help, but think about John McCain's statement that the Fundamentals of the economy are good. The show chronicles 7 and 8 figure properties being sold by young awful people. The real estate agents make six figures for basically getting someone to sign a piece of paper. Their job is no more difficult than any other agent's job, they just have the luck of being in an area where property is very expensive.

It made me think, that in a time when the housing market is in the dumps, the fact that people are able to make millions of dollars selling houses means something is wrong. The ultra rich are doing extremely well. The fundamentals of the economy are great for the rich. They are making millions. Lehman Brothers, Merly Lynch, and the Macks have all declared Bankruptcy, but their CEO's got paid millions as severance packages and bonuses to run their businesses into the ground. Middle America gets screwed while the wealthy continue to prosper. It seems ridiculous that the dollar is worthless and property and assets are getting gobbled up by international investors, yet rich people continue to add wealth to their bank accounts. There is too large of a gap between the rich and the middle class. This gap is one of actual money and reality. The rich do not understand the middle class and most of America. Americans are struggling while the rich are laughing all the way to the bank.

It begs the question: Is John McCain capable of understanding how bad the economy is? In his world I am sure he is making money. The people that he surrounds himself with are doing well. So when does he see the problems that most Americans see? The dollar will continue to fall and most Americans will continue to struggle, but the wealthy can continue to buy million dollar homes and luxury cars.

Ross Park Mall is the local mall in my area. It has traditionally been your typical mall with Gap, Macy's, and American Eagle. In the last year, they have opened up a Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Nordstroms, Tiffany's, Juicy Coutre, Kate Spade, and Michael Kors. The mall is not in a rich area (Median income 57,886). If these are the kind of stores opening in areas that are not even wealthy, it tells you there is something wrong. The economy is in the dumps, yet luxury stores are opening in areas that are middle class. Makes sense?

I don't want to hear anymore rich people whining about Obama raising taxes on people making over 250,000 dollars a year. These people are buying huge houses, throwing sweet sixteen parties, and are spending their money enough so that luxury high end stores can expand into new markets. It seems ridiculous that the rich are complaining about taxes being raised when everyone is struggling except them. Awwwww, poor rich people. They may have to wait until next year to buy that yacht or build that vacation home. Actually, they probably won't. The income tax, under Obama, will go up to what it was under Clinton over ten years ago. Money is worth a lot more than it was 10 years ago, so that increase is barely something that will make a dent on the rich. If people could afford it during Clinton, how the hell are they not going to afford it now? With inflation, the Clinton era's top tax bracket today works out to be substantially lower than it was then.

It is time the rich understand that people are majorly struggling right now. The fundamentals of the economy are not sound. Are we going to have to wait for the Europeans to come over here buy up all of our assets and property, then wipe their asses with the dollar bill before we agree that more people need to enjoy economic prosperity? Jesus Christ!!! I have said this a million times before, America is no longer number one. Read fucking A Post American World. The world is laughing at how shitty America is doing and all the rich can do is whine about paying a couple thousand dollars more a year in taxes. They will pay 15 million for a piece of property in the Hollywood Hills, but heaven forbid they struggle economically like the rest of us. As the rich prosper and go on as business as usual, the American way of life will crumble before their eyes.

RIP TRL....

2008-09-15T18:12:00.000-07:00

MTV has decided to put TRL out of is misery by ending its ten year run with a 2 hour special in November. This is the only time MTV ever plays videos, so I guess the whole "Music Television" thing is just in name now. I don't have any feelings about this because I don't watch TRL. Anyone who really is interested in music and who wants to find new compelling music can do it on the Internet. The real story here is what MTV will replace TRL with. MTV's programing has become such trash that whatever replaces TRL can only be an improvement. Whether its dating someones mom or humiliating yourself on some scripted reality TV show MTV will surely come up with some garbage at 3 o'clock. I wish they would bring back MTV news. They could use Kurt Loder. Even if he is dead they could rig him up Weekend at Bernie's style. After all the trash that is on that network some news wouldn't hurt anyone would it? Even if its a story about "Breastfest."

One More Time Can't Hurt!!!

2008-09-15T15:45:00.000-07:00

I know everyone has seen this video...more than once, but it definitely can't hurt to watch this again. Kanye West may be an idiot, but his blog is a great read, and I find videos and images that are always worth spending some time on. This is where I came upon this vid. There are so many things you can laugh about when you watch porn. I am not even going to begin to list them. This video manages to take that idea, put it on its head, and make hardcore dirty ass porn safe for work. Yes the impossible has been accomplished, Christ has returned, and Pigs flew. BTW, I have to say my favorite is either the Bass guitar part or the change in the pay phone. Whats yours?

Sunday Video

2008-09-14T15:24:00.000-07:00

If you ever wondered how to make a squirrel sandwich, this video is for you. I heard that the producers wanted Sarah Heath for this video, but she was too busy running up the debt in Wasilla. Zing!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You Tina Fey as Sarah Palin....

2008-09-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

This opened Saturday Night Live last night. Don't worry if you missed it. This was the only thing worth watching the whole night. Michael Phelps hosted, but I changed the channel and didn't see him in one skit. Whoops. This Tina Fey/ Sarah Palin skit made me cry it was so funny. Watch the whole thing because it gets funnier as it goes along.

Look McCain With Raffaello Follieri....

2008-09-13T17:20:00.000-07:00

I am not posting this to say that John McCain has any relationship with shady celebrity con-man Raffaello Follieri or if he even knew that Follieri was crazy, but rather to point out more hypocrisy with Republicans. After watching Bill O'reilly accuse Barack Obama of having shady relationships, and hearing Shawn Hannity relentlessly bring up every person Obama has shook hands with, I want people to realize that politicians are often with a laundry list of questionable people and you cannot draw conclusions based on it. Just because you are in the same room as a person or worked with them on legislation, it does not mean that you agree with their politics or are involved with that persons personal life.

People have friends and acquaintances that believe very different things, and we can't be so irresponsible as to draw parallels between people just because they were photographed together. Don't get me wrong, we have to be vigilant about illegal things they do, but not every conclusion can be drawn. Just because Obama has been around sleazeballs like Tony Rescoe and Bill Ayers, does not mean he creates his whole professional philosophy around theirs.

John McCain celebrated his 70th birthday with, and on a yacht chartered by, Follieri. He was also with CELEBRITIES!!! Gasp!! How dare he. How was he able to remain a conservative keeping such company? McCain's top adviser Rick Davis seemed to have some sort of working relationship with Follieri, who promised to get the Catholic vote for McCain (Follieri convinced a bunch of rich stupid people he was a top Vatican rep. HAHAH. If you can make people believe you have money, you can make them do anything).

I believe that McCain is completely innocent here, and he will be given the benefit of the doubt the same way he was in the Keating 5, but it shows hypocrisy on the Right Wing. Obama hangs out with sleazeballs, but McCains doesn't. Right? People need to realize that your friends and people at the same social events as you cannot be used to make a generalization of how you live your life or what you believe.

Weaven Steven is a True Pittsburgh Celebrity!!!

2008-09-13T16:26:00.000-07:00

Move over Christina Aguillera and Dennis Miller, the world has been introduced to "Weaven Steven." I am often at odds with my fiance over the television. After high jacking our DVR with Bridzillas and How Do I Look, I was beginning to get to my wits end. Today I was forced to watch a year old Splitends on the Style network, but to my delight I happened to fall into one of those disasters of reality TV that ends up being entertaining. It also involved a Pittsburgh connection when I have been in a bit of a rut on Pittsburgh posts. I like to let everyone know about notable Pittsburgh reality TV appearances. I think this qualifies.

Splitends it some stupid show about hair cutters switching salons and being awful people to each other, but the episode I saw involved Dominics in Pittsburgh. Dominics is "high-end" beautiful cutting edge salon in the trendy "boutique," area of downtown Pittsburgh. (It's too high end to deal with websites or Internet phone book listings). Their stylist "Weaven Steven" was switched with a Salon in Tennessee. Steven works with ethnic hair and tacky ass huge drag queen looks with mechanical parts and toys. He likes to call them "Fantasy Cuts." I call them garbage. Yeah. Steven is world renowned and has connections everywhere (everywhere that they have drag shows in basements!!)

Steven came on the show, didn't follow any of the rules, caused problems, undermined the salon he worked at, was generally difficult, and brought a whole lot of Yinzer glamour!!! His final challenge was doing Joanne Cash's (Johnny Cash's sister) hair and nearly put her six feet under. She told Steven she was on her way to church and was patriotic. Wrong move. There is nothing like good TV. I learned that you can find it anywhere. Especially when you take the best (and worse depending on who you ask) of Pittsburgh and smash it into unsuspecting people. I know that it doesn't do much to make Pittsburgh look good, and probably makes Izzazu's pull out their proverbial hair, but for the sake of television I could give a shit.

BTW- Dominique's is actually a great Salon stuck in a bad location, and Steven does good hair, I am just trying to get a laugh. I would never make this after thought for any other post. It is only because this is a Pittsburgh business...

Who Wants to See Geraldo Get Smashed by a Hurricane Ike Storm Surge????

2008-09-12T10:31:00.000-07:00

I was watching Fox News and saw this. I love when hacks ( Yes Geraldo is a hack) chase the hurricanes as they make land fall and get blow around, washed away, and battered by the chaos. That's really the reason they are there, right? So that we can see we can see these tools put themselves in harms way. Thats all the viewer wants. Geraldo Rivera was in Galveston or on a barrier island and a storm surge came up and took him down. He comes up soaking wet, spitting water, and humiliated. To bad it wasn't Martha McCallum. You can thank me for quickly recording this with my cell phone, and putting it on You Tube, by telling someone you know that Sarah Palin sucks... Thaaaaaaaaaaanks.

Palin is the American Idol Candidate...

2008-09-12T06:55:00.001-07:00

Kara and I were just talking about this the other day. Palin is like an American Idol finalist, which explains her popularity with middle America. Claymates and the Soul Patrol love Palin. Rober Ebert has written a great article on this that you should all read. When me and Kara were talking about this we were comparing her more to Sanjaya and Kristy Lee Cook rather than the winner, but we were definitely on to something. I think Ebert more coherently makes the argument, so I will let him explain:

"What defines an "American Idol" finalist? They're good-looking, work well on television, have a sunny personality, are fierce competitors, and so talented, why, they're darned near the real thing. There's a reason "American Idol" gets such high ratings. I want a vice president who is better, wiser, well-traveled, has met world leaders, who three months ago had an opinion on Iraq. Someone who doesn't repeat bald- faced lies about earmarks and the Bridge to Nowhere."

Our talk was something along those lines, except there was something about Paula Abdul in there, some laughing, and a discussion about the mega mess Fantasia Borrino. Hey I think we did pretty good considering we came up with this while doing some gardening....

Stephen Hawkins is Such a Wet Blanket....

2008-09-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

The large Atom Smasher is getting a bunch of press because there is talk that it could find the "God Particle," that is responsible for matter and life. Well, arguably the smartest man in the world thinks that won't happen. British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking has bet US$100 that the Large Hadron Collider, will not find the elusive particle seen as a holy grail of cosmic science. Boooooo!!!! Way to rain on everyones parade Stephen. I think that Hawkins is just salty that he was not asked to be the guy to turn the machine on for its first run. What a snub!!

Hawkins seems to think that a failure to fing the Higgs Boson God Particle would be more exciting because will show something is wrong, and we need to think again. That Hawkins always needs to be the smartest guy in the world. Why doesn't he just allows other peoples brains to have the spotlight once in a while. I bet they didn't invite Hawkins on purpose. They were probably like "don't invite Stephen, he is such a debbie downer, plus the Large Hadron Collider is not wheel chair accessible yet."

Poorly Prepared, Well coached... I Think We Have Found Wasilla High's New Debate Champ!!!

2008-09-12T05:40:00.000-07:00

Many will ask "How can that be?" when they read the title of this post, but let me explain. People who like Sarah Palin will say she did great. People who dislike her will say she did not do well. I dislike her and I say she did alright. She did a very good job of keeping the index cards that the McCain camp gave her crammed in her head. She was coached well, answering questions just as good as any high school principal or politician that has run a small town and been governor for a year. To me that is not good enough. On 9/11 when the security of this country is a painful reminder, a Vice Presidential candidate that was obviously coached giving rehearsed answers should make every American watching squirm in their seat. I am sure many Americans didn't, but they are the ones who had no idea what Palin was talking about anyway.

I am shocked that she said she has foreign policy experience because Alaska is close to Russia. Moscow is 8,500 miles away from Anchorage!!! Nothing happens in far east Russia, it is a barren desert. New York is closer to London by nearly half. That statement makes me nervous... Gawker seems to think that the interview is as bad as Miss Teen South Carolina's gaff about maps. That is just ridiculous. Statements like those is what loose elections for Democrats.

Everyone seems to be making a big deal about her not knowing what the Bush Doctrine was, but I think that is very forgivable. Charlie Gibson seemed to be trying to trick her and be tricky. Tricky Charlie. Why not just ask if she believes in preemptive strikes? That's how the media describes it. Who calls it the Bush Doctrine? What I thought was suspect was the answer about nuclear weapons and Iran. It came off as very high school debate, and a bad one at that. Here is the answer word for word:

"I believe that under the leadership of Ahmadinejad, nucular weapons in the hands of his government are extremely dangerous to everyone on this globe, yes. We have got to make sure these weapons of mass destruction, that nucular weapons are not given to those hands of Ahmadinejad, not that he would use them, but that he would allow terrorists to be able to use them. So we have got to put the pressure on Iran."

Every sixth grader would be able to give the exact same answer. Please, some Palin supporter, explain to me how answer is VP material? I say she was poorly prepared because you can't tell me this is Sarah at her best. If it was, Palin supporters are ONLY supporting her because she is a "Hockey mom" with five kids. There is no other explanation. If a man gave these answers people would not support him, simple as that (I am soo wrong...Bush ? 2000?).

This campaign is not only sexist, it is feminist. Palin supporters have become soo pro-women that they are giving her the benefit of the doubt just because she has a vagina and kids. I have always liked John McCain, and last night's forum actually made me again question whether to vote for him, but I just can't get past Palin. Call me.... smart? The more McCain talks loosely the more I want to vote for him, but the more Palin talks the less I want to vote for her. The funny thing, is I bet that is the opposite of most McCain -Palin supporters.

Joachim Forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

BIG MISTAKE. Drunk ass Joachim was kicked off the show for being a hot mess. Fuck Glam God. That show is dead to me!!!! How dare Haundry tell Joachim he needs to "shange"!!!! Joachim is a true star and he DELIVERS!! The only problem was Haundry. He was not capable of working in the presence of such talent like Joachim. Glam God is absolutely nothing without its star Joachim. That pussy Haundry should be thanking his lucky stars that he had the honor and privilege to work with such a legend. Joachim was more entertaining than anything that this ghetto ass TV show could come up with. The problem is that these low rent trashcans should be styling Joachim. He doesn't need to keep reaching for the stars, because he is one!!

Basically this week was more of Joachim's awesomeness with the introduction of a equally entertaining character, Jackie Blue (Joachim dressed as women). They both got really drunk, made bad decisions, caused chaos, undermined the entire challenge, and made great TV. Jackie Blue fell down numerous times (the floor was wet...come on! ...so were the stairs....and the sidewalk), and during the challenge to dress an "it girl" ( I know ridiculous), he pushed the model out of the way and got in front of the camera for the picture. Sigh.....could you ask for anything more?

This show is such a low rent ghetto ass mess. I mean it is like the Showgirls of Reality TV. It is such garbage that is is actually good. Does it even get 500,000 viewers? The whole racket is just a fucking joke. Vivica A. Fox??? Putting clothes on people??? "Reaching for the stars and styling them"??? I mean come on, they had fucking Adnan Ghalib as a judge on this week. If you don't know who that is, he is the guy who finally drove Britney to her rock bottom. He's a fucking pap!!! How dare they say that Joachim was unprofessional and disrespectful to other people on the show. He treated that show just like the piece of shit it is. It's a lifestyle Dammit!!!!!! Why doesn't that jacked- up -old- lady Vivica whatever understand that?

Joachim you will go down in history with some of the best TV I have ever watched. Your name will be spoken in the same sentence as Belu ( crazy dutch girl from Road Rules Europe), Richard Hatch (Survivor 1), Irene (Real World Seattle), and Toni of Paradise Hotel. Hell, Joachim's name should be in the dictionary as entertainment unimaginable to the human mind. Tonight will forever be remembered as the night we lost one of the greatest TV characters ever to grace a low rent basic cable television show....Lulz.

MTV Aims to Deflower Mormon Virgin on New Real World: Brooklyn...I See They are Going in a New Direction.

2008-09-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

MTV Real World has been ruining hipster parties and destroying the "hippest place on earth vibe" since it started filming in Billyburg (actually Red Hook), Brooklyn. Not that I know this for sure, but I am going off of Gawker's spies around Brooklyn. It looks like one of the cast members is a Mormon virgin (His name is Chet...yes Chet. That is him above) who has been thrown to the Hispster Wolfs. The show's producers are trying to deflower him and have him cheat on his fiance. How Real World of them. MTV has even managed to give him a scarf and blacked rimmed glasses so that he more closely resembles his surrounding habitat. MTV has tried this before with the virgin blood (Matt RW New Orleans), but I think that if anyone can convince a Mormon to have sex, it is a bunch of PoMo Hipsters from Sarah Lawrence and Oberlin. They will just keep saying how stupid everything is until they break him down. The show, virginity, religion, where they are hanging out, their loft, etc...I'll keep a close watch on this and post anything new. I would love to see before and after interviews with these cast members. Nothing can give a person a false sense of "know it all" like living in Williamsburg for six months.

Everyone Knows Kanye Was Arrested Right?

2008-09-11T11:14:00.001-07:00

If you didn't here is the video. Of course there is a video! Why wouldn't there be? Kanye was arrested for getting papped in LAX then smashing a paps camera or something. You know. Normal celebrity shit...