Ropeless Jump Rope!!! Brilliant!

Stupidest thing I have ever seen? Maybe not, but it has to be in the top ten. From the Snuggy school of ridiculousness I give you the Jumpsnap. The worlds first and only ropeless jump rope. Basically this thing is a piece of plastic with a "on board computer" to make a clicking sound so that you can hop in place. I could use my dod training clicker and accomplish the same thing. This is the ingenuity that that Glen Beck is always crying about right?

The Internet: The Gift That Just Keeps on Giving...

Now that we can analyze the Internet and throw around words like viral and meme, you would think that it would "spoil" that "its ours" thing. You know that feeling when a band you like and have followed suddenly hits it big and random people are asking you about it and their songs are played on clear channel stations. Well that will never happen to the Internet and its trillions of awesome things. No matter how much people package Internet culture and bottle it up, it will never be capable of selling out. Why you ask? For the simple reason that things like this are always out there and they are constantly being found.

WTF...WTF...

WHO KNEW BILLY CORGAN WAS INTO THAI LADY BOYS...

Oh Omegele How You Fester in the Absurd...

It you haven't heard of Omegle yet, you will. It is a new site where you can talk to strangers without a user name, password, or any sign in to the site. Yes, it is kind of like the early American online chat rooms, but you only talk to one person the "stranger". For the most part you just get really bizarre conversations. Alot of them are completely juvenile crass obscenities led by the infiltration of btards from the 4chan random board, but if you stick through it you can have some really funny or interesting chats with people from around the world. The concept sounds boring, and believe me it does become boring after getting your fifth disconnection after someone tells you they are masturbating or that you are a nigger fag, but stick to it and you will eventually find someone looking for what you are.

At any one time there are about 4,000 people on. I would like someone to figure out the likely hood of getting the same person over an hour period. So go ahead and test your patience for 15 year old obnoxious btards or Finnish people who like Black Gothic Metal. Let me leave you with this. The best conversation I had with a total stranger was on Omegle and it started like this:

You: Hi
Stranger: Would you do a Bong Hit of My Farts?
You: No
Stranger: Not even if I told you that just ate Chinese food?
You: Take out or delivery?
....

What is the 2000's?

I have been knee deep in the BWE's 90's movie madness bracket over the last week pathetically arguing over whether Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter is Dead is more 90's than Office Space. The whole exercise got me thinking about cultural identification of a decade through its pop medium. Most people have not even become aware of the identifiers that make the 90's the 90's and we are almost through the 2000's. Pretty soon we will begin saying that is so 2000. I can already see the wading pools of cultural fads swirling around in their pre-Cambrian stew to create cohesive markers of 2000-2010. 

Part of the problem with trying to identify a decade is that culture doesn't progress in ten period cycles. What we identify as the 90's is really 85-95 and 95-2000. Many would argue that Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter is dead is 80's and Office Space is really 00's. The bad fashion  and aesthetic of the 80's hung around into the 90's with slap bracelets and neon windbreakers. This leads me to asking two questions. 1) What is one piece of pop culture that neatly sum ups the 1990's? Please let me know what you think. Once you answer that question next ask yourself this: It is 2009, what is something that defines the 2000's? 

Usually Tv's shows work pretty well. Beverly Hill 90210 is an easy answer for question #1 and The O.C. is a pretty good answer for question #2, but push yourself further and give me your best in the comments!

New Gimmick Blog!!!

I love these new gimmick blogs that have been popping up like This is Why You Are Fat.com , Passive Aggressive Notes.com, and Post Cards From Your Momma. I have a feeling that Richard Blakeley may be behind this new one just like This is Why You are Fat. The newest is Why the Fuck Do You Have a Kid. It is basically what I think everyday when I drive past a bus stop, walk past a McDonald's, or watch a VH1 reality tv show. The website is on the right track, but they have omitted some major WTFDYHK's (Britney Paxil Spears is DQ since she is back to walking around lip syncing for money). Here are my top three:

3) Little Adolf Hitler! Yes the crazy Nazi lovers who named their proud first born Adolf Hitler. Are you full of indignation? Wait... Wait... Adolf has siblings...Wait for it...Adolf has two sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. The latter, just eight months old, was named for Nazi leader Heinrich Himmler. The little racists father doesn't understand why people are shocked when they hear his sons name, to which I say WTFDYHK.


2) The one, the only, Nadia Sulaiman, better known as OCTOMOM, or OCTOCRAZY or just STUPID CRAZY LADY. You may argue that Nadia should be number one seeing that she decided to have 8 children at once when she already had six under the age of ten and had no husband, job, or home, but I feel like this women should never be number 1. Its just not right. Even being named craziest crazy who ever crazied in the world would add to the delusions that comfortably rule her bat shit mind. Just imagining the smell of baby poop, baby vomit, and baby food is enough to say WTFDYHK.

1) The FREE RANGE KIDS parents. For those of you new to this mess, Free Range Parenting is, not a joke, a style of raising kids where you basically let them do whatever they want. No its not just bad parenting. This is intentional rather than just negligent or reckless. It is a bunch of elitist liberal city dwellers who overly intellectualize everything and think that letting their kid ride the subway alone at 9 makes them more prepared to be independent successful adults. My disdain is not really about the concept for I could care less about the kids. Its more about the fact that some stupid liberal lady came up with a parenting technique called Free Range Kids. When I hear things like this it makes me wonder about Fox News and Ann Coulter....just wonder, that's all. I hate people.

Hey Yall...

Merry Christmas March. See she is isn't crazy