Hillary Clinton and Richard Mellon Scaife sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

Hillary Clinton once alluded to Richard Mellon Scaife being part of the "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy" that was responsible for going after the Clintons in the 90's. Scaife has been the financial backing behind the right wing media in Pittsburgh and all over the country, and has been a mortal enemy of Democrats for years. He even once called the death of Vince Foster the Rosetta Stone of the Clinton administration. Well, the times, they are a changing. Scaife just wrote a glowing editorial in his Tribune Review about Hillary. Scaife said:

"Walking into our conference room, not knowing what to expect (or even, perhaps, expecting the worst), took courage and confidence. Not many politicians have political or personal courage today, so it was refreshing to see her exhibit both. Sen. Clinton also exhibited an impressive command of many of today's most pressing domestic and international issues. Her answers were thoughtful, well-stated, and often dead-on. […]Does all this mean I'm ready to come out and recommend that our Democrat readers choose Sen. Clinton in Pennsylvania's April 22 primary?No—not yet, anyway. In fairness, we at the Trib want to hear Sen. Barack Obama's answers to some of the same questions and to others before we make that decision.But it does mean that I have a very different impression of Hillary Clinton today than before last Tuesday's meeting—and it's a very favorable one indeed. "

Scaife previously talked about how he enjoyed a lunch with Bill Clinton and later donated $100,00 to Clinton's Global Initiative. What the fuck is going on? Is this some backward attempt to screw Clinton with Liberals, or is it an attempt at preventing Obama from getting the nomination. We all know Scaife is starting to lose it. The tribune review loses somewhere between $20 and $30 million dollars a year, and it was discovered last year during his divorce proceedings that Scaife was taking a hooker to a 35 dollar a night motel on route 51. Awesome. Politics is the weirdest fucking thing in the world. All of these people are liars, frauds, and will do anything to get elected and maintain power. I'm not sure what else to say and I am still trying to grasp this.

What ever happened to the blanket term "Alternative"

When I was in middle school there were only a couple of terms for kids who were "different". There were skaters, punks, and kids who listened to alternative music. Collectively, they were all lumped into one group. I guess you could say alternative. Grunge was big during this period, so "Alternative" mostly meant grunge. Boy, things have changed. Now you have punks, emos, scenesters, hipsters, hippies, and many more. The collective enemy of kids that were different in middle school were the jocks and popular kids. Today infighting has begun between the alternative subcategories. In Mexico, Punks are attacking Emo kids, and in Australia Scensters are fighting with Emo kids. Apparently, it's gotten so bad that Mexico is starting a marketing campaign to prevent attacks in Tijuana. The video above is highlighting the problem. (Its in Spanish so figure it out yourself) Those Emo kids just have to stop whining- they are getting on everyones nerves. This begs the question: How are these groups actually defined? How can you tell the difference between an Emo and a Scenester? Well that's what wikipedia is for. According to wikipedia, this is how to become a scenester. This is not a joke:

1. Become active on Myspace, Stickam, Buzznet and other social networking sites. Post a ton of pictures of yourself and the shows you've been to. These should all be at strange angles [usually from above and a little to the side].

2. Get Scene Hair. Scene hair is usually black or bleached blonde and sometimes has random neon streaks such as pink or green in it, but this is not a must. It's usually very big and puffy at the top, the size of this depending on the length of your layers.

3. Wear eyeliner. Black eyeliner is a must for all scene kids, especially the girls. I would suggest to start out with the pencil eyeliner, as it is easier to apply and doesn't get as messy if you make a mistake. Once you get better at applying this, you can gradually start using liquid liner.

4. Wear skinny jeans or straight leg jeans. While the tighter the better, find a decent fit for you, because no one will talk to you if you look like a fashion victim.

5. Stock up on band shirts and graphic shirts. If you've done your music research, load up on classic band t-shirts (i.e. Enter Shikari). Get the tightest fitting t-shirt, within reason. Scene kids should listen to "Conway Twitty", "Jimmy Buffet", "Harry Chapin" and "Brook Benton".

6. Get classic shoes. Start with Vans Classics, or some Converse, then branch out to any style of Vans you want.

7. Accessorize. If you're a girl, invest in necklaces that have spiders, broken hearts, owls, Hellokitty, keys, cobwebs, skulls, and the like. If you're a guy, keep your keys dangling on the side with a carabiner attached to a belt loop.

8. Take up the scene writing style. Add extra letters to many of your words. For example: "rawwr" "kiiid" "kayyy" "baaby". Spelling your name in odd ways is popular as well, as is giving yourself a second name in addition to your first. Use scene lingo like "rad", "Ace", and "stellar."

9. Go to shows. Shows are important, and all scene kids know everything about their music. If you know some local bands, be their friends, and brag about it. Girls should mosh at shows. People hate scene girls that don't mosh

This is more like how to become a douchebag. I must have no idea how things are because that is not even close to what I thought a scenester was. Maybe all of these groups can just fight among each other and annihilate themselves from existence. If you need to be taught how to be yourself, I think there may be a problem. It must be hard to be young and feel like you don't fit in. At least you have a bunch of choices on which subculture you want to be a part of. You even have wikipedia there to teach you how to fit in once you made your choice. What if you tried to be a hipster, emo kid, scenester, punk, and hippie all at once. You probably would end up looking like a retarded clown or this guy.

Is this the First Clip From Bruno?

If this is from Bruno, which it looks like it is, this movie is going to be pretty funny. This was in a Wichita Kansas airport. These people probably ran to church after seeing that.

UPDATE: I think the video was taken down so it must be from the movie.

This is a site you visit once chuckle then never go to again...

No, I am not talking about my blog... I am talking about Postcards From Your Momma. The blog is a site where you upload emails sent from your mother asking you how you are, making you feel guilty, and asking if you've been to the dentist recently. I like the idea, and some of the posts are so dead on that you have to wonder if they are fake. Of course, the names of all people have been redacted. Best Week Ever has found an email sent to Diablo Cody from her mom. It is worth a look.

Pitchfork announces line up for music festival

Pitchfork has announced most of it's lineup for it's 2008 music festival in Chicago. Every year they have classic bands perform one of their entire influential albums. This year Public Enemy will do It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold us Back, and Mission of Burma will perform Vs. Hearing "Thats When I Reach For My Revolver," live is worth the trip to me. There will also be one more band yet to be announced to perform a whole album. Other headliners include: Dinosaur Junior, Jarvis Cocker, Vampire Weekend, and Spiritualized. It is also nice to see Pitchfork jump on the garage punk bandwagon with Jay Retard and King Khan and His Shrines. No Ages, Dirty Projectors, and Fuck Buttons have been confirmed to no surprise, and Wu Tang will be making an appearance via Raekwon and Ghostface. I am happy to see Dizzie Rascal included as well!!!. I would seriously consider buying your tickets now because it sold out last year, and my "late in the game" attempt to round up a crew failed miserably one week before the festival. More acts are to be added, so the three day pass of 65$ seems to be very much worth the price.

A slut is a slut is a slut.

The Superficial has a pretty funny scoop on Sarah Larson, George Clooney's girlfriend, wasted on Last Night's Party. This should come as no surprise to anyone. Clooney did pick this girl up playing high stakes poker at the Hard Rock. We all know Vegas cocktail waitresses are mostly "Rock of Love" castoffs. The thing I like most, is that it was on Last Nights Party. Girls love to act slutty and flash their boobs for the camera at Last Night's Party....parties. They think that since it is so hip and connected to the art and fashion scene, that they are some how better than a spring break coed on Girls Gone Wild. Since everyone at the party has funny haircuts, talks about what Liberal Arts Schools they went to, and dress like someone's retarded cousin, the pictures taken of them naked are artistic. I guess if you went to Wesleyan, Oberlin, or Sarah Lawrence you can act like a whore, but it is OK because you are being Ironic, I get it. You are in control of your sexuality, rather than being exploited by testosterone driven magazines. You are making fun of those girls who flash people when they're drunk. This is female empowerment drawn from post modern ideology. Let me explain something. A sluts a slut no matter what! No matter what music you listen to, how you dress, or who you hang out with. It's Ok, just admit it. You can't justify it. You are a girl who likes to flash the camera. It doesn't matter where you are. It could be at Daytona Beach, Cancun, Stereo, or a Misshapes party. If you are drunk, out of your mind on coke, and there is a douche bag with a camera around, you will pose, remove your bra, and reveal your boobs. Period.

What the hell happened to her face?

All of the blogs have this picture of Laura Flynnboyle, so I decided to post it too. This woman used to be a sex symbol. She is also responsible for wearing the most ridiculous post Bjork Swan outfit to the Oscars. She looks like her body has been ravaged by years of bulimia. You know how people with bulimia get bloated faces, kind of like bobble heads? That is what has happened to her. She is pretty much unrecognizable. Jack Nicholas is glad as hell he dumped her before this happened. She should just tell everyone she is going method for a role. That is the best way to deal with physical deformities that bulimia, plastic surgery, and drugs cause. Just tell everyone it's for a role.

Floyd Wins!!!

For those of you who care Floyd Mayweather has beaten Big show at WRSETLEMANIA 24 via brass knuckles. I should have known brass knuckles. It always does the trick. Chairs, tables, and any other weapons can not stand up to the pure bodily damage that brass knuckles can inflict. Apparently Mayweather was thrown around a couple of times, drank from his "Pimp Cup" then took the brass knuckles from his trainer and knocked Big Show down for the ten count. quick and easy pay day. I am sure its wasn't worth the 59.99 that they were charging. 24 Wrestling has the play by play,  if you are interested.  Undertaker beat Edge to win the World championship. A church bell rang, the lights went off, and White Trash around the world rejoiced. I am only covering this because I consider this some what of a Pittsburgh blog, and we all know about Pro wrestling in Pittsburgh. I can't help but enjoy wrestling. It is really a ridiculous version of Reality TV. Plus the fans are just priceless. If you want to know why Obama won't be the next president just immerse yourself in Pro Wrestling culture. 

I have one simple question...WHY????

Flody Mayweather Jr. is fighting the Big Show at Wrestlemania 24. Yes...Floyd Mayweather Jr. is fighting the Big Show at Wrestlmania 24. Why? There is no way that Mayweather is getting paid as much as he is worth so there is no reason for this. (WWE claims Floyd Mayweather is getting paid 20 million which is a lie). Mayweather is pound for pound the best boxer in the world, but he has no experience with studio wretsling, and is probably a quarter of the size of the Big Show. I understand Mayweather doesn't really have a suitable boxing opponent, but that doesn't mean he has to trivialize his talent by competing in a fight that is obviously not real (The big show is billed as 7 foot 4 and 500 pounds, which we know is a lie and Mayweather is 5 foot 7 150 pounds). I think Mayweather is doing it because he is a showman. He likes the entertainment of professional wrestling. Regardless, one mistake in choreographed moves could prevent Mayweather from entering the ring in September for another big pay day against Del La Hoya. This article talked about ways that the match should end. I still think Mayweather should try to body slam the Big Show. That would be the best. You know it will end with some sort of interference or a ref bump. All the big matches do. What would be cool is if Del La Hoya ran out and did something. Then Boxing would make its final transformation into sports entertainment like it has been doing for some time now. . Here is a video pumping up the fight

SOMEONE GIVE THEM A REALITY TV SHOW STAT!!!

If you live in Pittsburgh and don't live under a rock, then you heard about the 12 hour stand off between Lyndsey Paulat and polie at Steeler Cedric Wilson's home. Natrona Hieghts finest shot a gun off twice, and held off police for twelve hours in Wilson's Pine Township home. Ms. Paulat spent a week at Mercy Behavioral Clinic following the incident. She later said Mr. Wilson provoked her to kill herself in phone conversations that day, leading to the prolonged standoff. Wilson got a restraining order against Paulat, but later dropped the PFA. Well the Pittsburgh uber couple are at it again. Yeah! Apparently Paulat and Cedric Wilson got into a public fist fight at Patron's Restaraunt along Perry Highway. Wilson threw a hay-maker after pushing Paulat from behind. Cedric's punch hit Paulat in the face leaving her injured. Wilson then left the restaurant, only to be arrested at his home later that night. I am embarrassed to say that I actually know Paulat, and she is every bit as trashy as she seems. She has been going after professional sports players for years. When she found out she was pregnant with Wilson's kid the first thing she asked me was how much money she could get. Regardless, these two are turning into my favorite Pittsburgh celebrity trash couple. Someone give them a reality TV show stat!!! I've always thought that a show following around NFL payers and their baby's mama's would be a great reality TV show.

Talk about price gouging!!!

Page Six is reporting that People magazine is ready and willing to pay 10 million dollars for the baby pictures of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's twins. Are you kidding me? I thought this baby picture thing was getting out of control with J.Lo's six million, but I guess People wants to be know as the "celebrity baby picture" magazine. Apparently, celebrities are looking at it like landing a movie role. Barry Levine from the National Enquire is even saying that this is the cause of celebrities getting pregnant...so they can sell their baby pictures!?! That is why you are the editor of the National Enquire Barry, because you come up with ridiculous statements like that. Although, I would not put it past some celebrities. Their reality is incomprehensible to me. Jolie is supposed to donate the money to charity, but with ten million you have to figure she'll throw a mill in a trust for those kids. If I were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, I would retire from acting and whatever else they do and be full time baby makers. You would be paid millions just to have sex. Life must be nice for celebrities.

Linka Dinka Doo

First Mortgage crisis now home Equity Loan Crisis!!! Hard times ahead... New York times

L.A. Times relied on known fabricated FBI files in its story linking P.Diddy to 1994 shooting of Tupac Shakur outside recording studio in New York. Oops. Noted on The News

NASA says one of Saturn's movie could have water and life on it. Good lets send Hiedi and Spencer there to find out. Breitbart

George W. Bush is scheduled to throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals game on Sunday ... to a suspected steroid user who was mentioned 37 times in the Mitchell Report Deadspin

Funny Haitian weather man video Youtube

Tina Fey clears up her whole "The Daily Show is Not- Real -Comedy -because -it -Doesn't -make -People- laugh Thing". I actually agreed with her. awww shucks. Defamer

Could Tyra Banks be leaving "America's Next Top Model with Tyra Banks"? Ok! Magazine

Is Mayor Bloomber endorsing Barrack Obama? Looks like it. Hillary is pissed! Drudge Report

Worried that Al-Qaida might be joining American gangs, the feds use the Patriot Act to search the home of somebody who belongs to the Wichita Crips Wichita Eagle

Oh Yeah ! Elliot Spenzer is linked to a second prostitution ring! Huffington Post

Incredibly vague blind items for you...

Here's are some blind items from Page Six and elsewhere:

1) A producer of a very successful reality TV show called for a Hooker. Well wouldn't you know one of the contestants of the show knocked at his door. He came to an agreement that she (or he) had to abruptly leave the show in an exchange for a large chunk of money.
My guess: Kristi Jo Rock of Love, or that first girl from Top Model

2) What lesser know actor from an acting family has been hitting the rock and was seen a sweaty mess at a recent Hollywood party?
My guess: one of those Baldwins, an Arquette

3) What washed up former pop star has been giving her CV out to Hollywood directors in a desperate attempt to get some work. She even begged to get work from new James Bond movie.
My guess: Debbie- Electric Youth- Gibbson

Scientist Find fossils of HOBBITS!!!

This story over on Cosmos has created a euphoric panic in fanboy world. South African anthropologists have discovered fossils of an extinct hobbit-like people on a Pacific Ocean island where they lived up to 3,000 years ago. The discovery was made in 2004, but is the subject of a new article in Plos One. The subjects of the 2004 discovery, dubbed "hobbits" after author J.R.R Tolkien's pint-sized and hairy-footed fiction heroes, have been at the centre of a scientific argument over their classification. Some have argued they were a formerly unknown human species, while others maintain the tiny people are stunted modern humans. The Palauen fossils exhibit a surprising number of traits that were originally used to describe the hobbit as a unique species. These included a small body size with large teeth, small faces and reduced chins. Does this mean that the "One" Ring to Bind them all actually exists? I can just picture a bunch of nerds organizing a Fellowship right now in case a trip to New Zealand is necessary to visit Mordar and climb Mt. Doom. I hate to break to everyone, but we have hobbits and they have been here for year. They didn't need to be discovered. They are called midgets- I'm sorry, small people. They can be found humiliating themselves in professional wrestling and imitating Britney Spear. If you need more proof here is a hobbit named La Paquena imitating Hillary Clinton:

We finally have proof of Gossip Gays

There has been rumors a swirling about Gossip Girls and the word gay. First, the character Dan in the book was a Mo', but the shows producer decided to cut-that-out! Now some are saying that one of the characters will be coming out of the closet when the show returns. Further, there has been all this talk in internet world about J.C Chasez and Chance Crawford going all Broke Back Mountain on Carrie Underwood (Crawford's real life girlfriend). The two have been spotted a bunch of places together, and reportedly have moved in with each other. If this is true it would make the greatest country western song ever for Carrie Underwood. Chasez went on some radio show today and cleared things up. Chasez said that he and Crawford are just good friends and that Chance is a cool dude. He denied that either of them are gay. He even wined about not being able to see Chance everyday. Awww poor J.C. He did have a point about the media linking any star with any person they are photographed with. See J.C., the problem is that you aren't photographed with girls, and you wear bow ties, vest, and scarfs as a judge on a dance show. Your so gay.  Oh- and the photo above is definitely real no matter what anyone tells you.

Sarah Jessica Parker comes clean

Sarah Jessica Parker was rated the most unsexy women in the world by Maxim magazine. At first she said she was honored by this, then the truth came out and Parker said that she was actually very hurt by the reward. Rightly so. I think the maxim article was pretty pointless. Don't get me wrong, I like hurting peoples feelings just as much as the next person, but there are way less sexy women in Hollywood than Sarah Jessica Parker. I actually find her kinda hot and sexy. Especially in Honeymoon in Vegas. She is no Andreana Lima, but she is also no Kl-ho-e Kardashian either. Best Week ever did there own analysis of this, and came up with 10 women who are unsexier than Carrie Bradshaw. This is definitely worth looking at. Number one just cracks me up.

Best Week Ever - 10 Women Unsexier Than Sarah Jessica Parker

Its recession time!!!

Read this great article in Variety then come back here. We are in a recession no matter what- I'm living in a dream world- Bush says. People are spending too much money. Not everyone should own a house or be able to spend money frivolously. TV and our culture is telling everyone that they should be rich and have nice things. Everything you watch shows people with beautiful cars, designer clothes, and gorgeous homes. If you just went off television you would think that your in the minority as middle or lower class citizen. Sweet Sixteen, House Wifes of Orange County, heck even Soap Operas show everyone as wealthy. This cause people to go out and spend or buy things they can't afford- including homes. Of course the banks and credit card companies gave lines of credit to people who have no business asking for it. Now the economy is fucked!!! The government thinks giving extra money to people in May is going to solve the problem because people will go out and spend. Unless they are paying off debt this is not going to work. People need to save and pay off debt, not spend. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Hold on people, it is only going to get worse. When it cost fifty bucks to fill my Nissan Sentra with regular gas, it is clear hard times are a coming. Oh my god Dancing with the Stars is doing a dance medley to Meatloaf- I would do anything For Love. My head is about to explode. Have to go.

Give me a god damn break!!!

Christie Lee Cook is either the most cunning person in the world or she is just a dumb piece of country western trash. I am going with choice two. Knowing that she has been in the bottom two, and that her days are numbered on American Idol, Cook decided to go the with the shameless pro-American pride route. She sang I'm Proud to Be an American. Yes, she did. This was such a smart move because Americans refuse to do anything that remotely looks like anti-american behavior. Voting against a girl who sang I'm Proud to Be an American is just not an option. She could have burped the whole song and people still would have voted for her. Simon knew that he couldn't tear her to shreds because this would have been seen as a criticism of America. You cannot say anything bad about America, period. If you cricize the war, you hate the troops. So if you criticize someone singing about their pride in the USA, you definitely hate our country. Now we are going to have to see this hick for another week. In other Idol news, everyone else was boring. We need a Sanjaya stat!!! Vote for the worst has a video of Cook previously singing the same song. They are telling people to vote for her. This is the one time I disagree with them. Ramiel and Jason Castro are far worse. They always get drowned out by the fat black back up singers. 

Is this perpetuating racial stereotypes???

There is a shit storm a brewing over the cover of the new Vogue magazine. When it was first revealed that Lebron James would be on the cover of Vogue, everyone cheered because it would be the first black male to grace the cover. It couldn't have been that easy. The cover shot has been released and of course people have a problem with it. The cover, regardless of what anyone says, is an obvious reference to King Kong and Fay Wray. To some, this is perpetuating racial stereotypes. The argument is that black athletes are always posed in some violent, scary way, while white athletes are always posed smiling. I can't tell you if this is true or not, but I can tell you I love this cover. Lebron is the King Kong of basketball. He fucks shit up just like Kong. Plus, don't people actually like King Kong? If you are referring to someone as King Kong in terms of their athletic ability isn't that a complement? I tend to think we are too hypersensitive about race in this country. The cover is fun, and even Lebron said he liked it. You know Vogue is trying to be provocative to sell magazines, so of course they were trying to raise some eyebrows, but to say this is perpetuating stereotypes isn't fair to Annie Lebovitz (who shot the photo). If we had to tip toe around race so that no one is offended, we would miss out on other great photographs including this one. I am right or wrong? Atleast someone comment dammit!!!

Now this is just ridiculous....

A researcher in New England has studied the geneology of Barrack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and found that they are each related to all kinds of crazy people. The New England Historic Geneological Society has found that aside from political leaders and former presidents each is also related, more importantly, to celebrities. Well wouldn't you know. Apparently Obama is a sixth cousin of Brad Pitt, and Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie. These relations go back somewhere to the 16 and 17 hundreds. huh?!? I think the story would have been way more interesting if they found that Clinton and Obama were actually related to eachother. Or even better, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are related to each other. The researchers also found that Hillary Clinton is related to Madonna. I'd like to see this research. I bet they take alot of liberty in interpreting members of tribes and people with similar last names. This is just a cheap attempt at fame for the New England Historic Geneological Society. Those researchers are fames mongers and are just trying to get some press....or is it Pop Fiction... If it was Pop Fiction I'll hand it to Ashton.

Une chienne américaine muette à Paris!!!!

"The Hills" made it's return to trash TV tonight. Every time I watch this show, I ask how the hell did Lauren Conrad get her own show? She is incredibly boring and has zero personality. The personality she does have is so ugly that I wonder why anyone would want to hang around her. The show is fake and scripted, so you would think the producers could at least create a personality for Lauren. Sometimes it looks like Lauren is even wondering why people want to follow her snooze of a character. Conrad hosted the Hills live premier and just stood there with this blank smile on her face. She is the type of person that answers a question with one word and a smile. Her job at Teen vogue was the biggest joke. She kind of "helped out" at fashion shoots and events. If you watch, she is not helping out, but actually more "in the way" of other people doing stuff. They give her things to do just to get her out of the way. They are like, "Lauren, here is a rubber ball, bounce it...after that twiddle your thumbs, it's totally hot right now- everyone is doing it in Milan." I have always been a Heidi-Spencer fan. Not just because they are good TV, but because they are way more interesting and actually have something to say. Hey Lauren, its sad when two Old Navy mannequins have more of a personality than you. Lauren has created all the drama on that show and blamed it on other people. Lauren is just this bland miserable person that is way too controlling over her friends, and always has something or someone to complain about. "Can you believe they did that to me!?" Ummm, yes Lauren, I can . People hang out with you so they can be on TV. Get a life, not a pathetic one that MTV created for you. One good thing about tonight's episode was the music. They had a bunch of French hip-hop and house playing. If a show takes place in France, I guarantee you that you will hear Mc Solaar. La Belle et le Bad Boy is a favorite of TV producers for a character going through an important life lesson in Paris. Sex in the City, Entourage, The Hills, and Greys Anatomy have all used it. Name something taking place in Paris and I bet you that song is used.

Because I love Lost so much, here is a Lost video someone made on You Tube using the song:

Thats a Yinzer!!!!

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

I have previously posted about Pittsburgh being God's gift to reality TV. Tonight, I was once again reassured of this. We have the most reality TV stars per capita than any other city in the country besides LA (And we are pretty much responsible for all of Rock Of Love). Now, we possibly have the greatest trifecta of reality TV stars ever to grace trash TV, and possibly the greatest reality TV moments ever on an MTV show. As I said before, there were three elegant ladies on MTV's "That's A Whor'e'" from Western Pennsylvania.  Two were previously eliminated with one, Ashley, throwing a tantrum by trying to break back into the house and beat up the remaining girls when she was given the boot (I guess she was doing her best Ashley impression...get it?). This week, the "Bambinas" that were left got to bring their families onto the show, and we, the viewer, got to meet three of the most culturally elite, well read people ever to come from the Steel City. Christina, her mother, and her godmother completely trashed the whole show. They showed up drunk acting like they had just downed a case of Iron City at the Three Rivers Regatta, cheered and boasted about being the best canolli suckers (which they definitely were- thanks to Sunseris in the Strip District no doubt), and then swiftly got kicked off the show for kicking Kathaleen's ass. They brought the Yinzer in full force, and kept it truly Pittsburgh real. Christina's mother kept yelling "Yager Bomb" over and over in her perfect Pittsburgheeze, and then tried to fight 21 year old Taylor for touching her...yes touching her. Christina's godmother was your typical Monongahela Valley trashcan. You know, the type you commonly run into wasted at Cupka's after a Monday night Steeler game. I guarantee you these women are cocktail waitresses during the day shift at Club Erotica...no wait they are the ladies who hold the tap and pump the keg for the free beer (you know what I am talking about). I don't think MTV knew what they were getting into allowing true Pittsburghers on National TV with unfeathered access to Yager. If there is a lesson to be learned, it is that McKees Rocks, McKeesport, Glassport and any other place polluted by runoff from the old Pittsburgh Mills creates the best humans ever for TV. This show by the way is really the pits. Tila Teqila was bad enough, but when you didn't even make it on that show,  and ended up on the left over show vying for the loser of Shot of Love, you really know you made it. This episode was soo good you really just have to watch it yourself (you can above and here). Kathaleen's parents were the coolest people I have ever seen. Take my word for it.

Come on Baby... No one will ever see them...

This was a big week in celebrity sex tapes. I really don't have much to say about this, the pictures do the talking. I don't understand how people tape themselves cavorting, and then don't get rid of the evidence or make sure that other people won't see them. Apparently celebrities aren't very smart. As soon as any scumbag hears that a person is an aspiring model/ actress, a light bulb goes off above their head and they immediately think naked pictures. These pictures can either be personally entertaining, or lucrative in the short term on a trashy website. The jackpot is when the person actually becomes famous. It is like investing in a stock before the company becomes a fortune 500 business. This week's players were Audrina- dead behind the eyes- Patridge, Kristin-My best years as an actress were on Melrose Place- Davis, and Lindsey- I ruined my career with bad decisions before I was legally allowed to- Lohan. The Lohan video was fake, the Davis video was real, and the Audrina pictures were real (although her tits clearly were not)and taken for an attempted Playboy pictorial. Lohan said she couldn't remember if the video was authentic, Davis denied the tape, and Audrina said the trashy pictures were meant to "artistic". The best part about all of this was that the two pictures that ended up being authentic were conveniently leaked right around the Hills third season debut, and the Sex and the City movie release. Coincidence? Probably yes, but at the very least, it made a slow news week somewhat less boring. Below are links to the garbage:

KRISTEN DAVIS: http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/2008/03/17/the-kristen-davis-sex-tape/

AUDRINA: http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/21646025.html

LIDSEY LOHAN: http://www.dlisted.com/node/24683

Don't call her Jlo

People magazine continued their celebrity baby photo cover marathon with JLo's twins. They basically have spent 12 million dollars on baby photos on the last month. There coverage began with Christina Aguillera and has climaxed with JLo. People reportedly spent 6 million dollars for the pictures. 6 million dollars? That is absolutely insane. The worst part is Jlo doesn't even need the money. She should donate it to charity like St. Angelina. One of the clauses in the contract with People was that Jlo would give them the pictures if they would stop calling her Jlo. Oh I see, once she is a mother Jlo became inappropriate. I love how celebrities command us to call them a certain name. There real name isn't good enough. They are such control freaks. I think Jlo knows her big ass title is being stolen by Kim Kardashian so she needs to be known for something else. Jlo carries the big ass moniker, and Jennifer Lopez denotes mother. I get it. Jennifer Lopez just seems like a agonizingly horrible person to be around. I bet her husband just sits next to her staring off into space thinking about what it used to be like to have his own life. Meanwhile Jlo is yelling at him, nagging and demanding all kinds of ridiculous things. You know Jlo is just a ball of crazy demands and nags. Thats what her bliss is in life. Nagging and demanding. It is probably even worse with kids now.

SOUTH PARK...BRITNEY

South Park took on the Britney Spears cluster fuck last night, and was able to coherently articulate everything ridiculous about entertainment media in way that was more effective than anything pop fiction could even dream about doing. The episode was funny, but in the South Park, they are totally on to something not laugh out loud, way. They call out MTV for basically putting someone on live TV that is no condition to perform for the world. Britney Spears has half a head, but the media is more concerned with her having a camel toe. And Miley Cyrus is titally the next Britney Spears. From a trailer park... check. Teen pop star....check. Never a chance to be a person in a normal world...check. Stupid...check. There should be a waiver you have to sign when you become a pop star that tells you that you are destined to crash from your high and live a life of trying to be as popular as you were when you were 15. It happens to all of them. The guys sometimes turn out ok, but judging from Man Band turning out ok is pretty pathetic.

SXSW

Now I've waited for a couple of days to report anything on SXSW. Of course I didn't go. I do have a day job as a Laws Student and Law Clerk. I did scower the Internet for the best coverage of the event, and I have decided to let you readers (if there are any of you out there) know what music journalists are saying the best acts of the week were. These are the bands that either performed incredibly, or made some kind of appearence that increased their relevance. Here is a list of bands that should be illegally downloading or bands that you should act like you know who they are, based on SXSW buzz. (Just so you know Chester French is collectively hated by all internet journalists. So if you thought the whole nerdy Ivy League indie rockers singing about Jimmy Choos was catching on due to Vampire Weekend...your wrong)

1) Fuck Buttons

2) Jay Retard

3) The Tough Alliance

4) Santogold

5) High Places

6) Cut Copy

7) David Banner

8) Destroyers

9) El Guincho

10) Grouper

11) HEALTH

12) Islands

13) These New Puritans

14) Man Man

15) Lykke Li

Heather confirms her insanity under oath.

Now I have been in a few court rooms, and I am well schooled in  court room behavior, but I have never seen anything that qualifies as contempt of court quite like Heather Mills McCartney's behavior during her divorce settlement. After her 50 million dollar award was announced, Mills decided to celebrate by dumping a picture of water on Sir Paul's legal council. Now, I'm not a lawyer yet, but my knowledge of Family law tells me that in a fault based divorce proceeding your character is a very important thing. When your husband is arguing that you are a gold digging, short fused, menopausal-Godzilla bitch, you should probably be on your best behavior. I am assuming Mill's had about enough of trying to act like she was the victim in this case, and when the 50 million was announced she decided she had nothing to lose by revealing her hand. She probably figured that she is already despised by most of her country, and people think she's crazy so why not give the people what they want. This could actually end up working in her favor... kind of like how the heels in professional wrestling end up being popular. I can only hope video of this is leaked to the Internet. The only thing that could have been better, is if an all out brawl occurred with Mills removing her fake leg and using it as a weapon against Sir Paul and his lawyer. 

Scientology is wierd....

Defamer had this interesting story today about Sony trying to kill an MSNBC story about Will Smith drinking the Xenu Koolaid. Everyone knows that Jada Pinkett Smith has fallen prey to the aliens, and it would only be months before Will Smith would be as crazy as Tom Cruise. I just love how Scientology is as manipulative as a Hollywood P.R. firm. They try to bully the press like Harold Ickes after a Democratic Debate. If Scientology is something so harmless then why do they need to spin everything, and why does Will Smith need to be in the closet as one of its members? After MSNBC refused to pull the story about Smith, Smith came forward and denied being a Scientologist. I guess Sony feels that being a Scientologist can actually negatively effect a movie's release. They see Tom Cruise's antics as having a detrimental effect on Mission Impossible 3, and they did not want the same thing happening to Smith's Hancock. Well, apparently the members of the church did not like this, and are very upset with Fresh Prince. I thought that Catholics make you feel guilty. Being a Scientologist is like having leprosy. You are giving millions to your church and you can't even go public with it. That makes me even more certain that Scientology is nothing more than a very effective, organized way of extorting famous people out of their money.

The G8 summit has nothing on these two...

Mel Gibson met with Britney, I'm not a sociopath, not yet a psychopath, Spears for lunch the other day. Presumably the meeting was about mutual insanity. I could just imagine what this date was like. "So, what do the voices in your head say to you... My voices tell me to make bad movies." "Wow, mine tell me to make bad music!." The last person to give career advice to Britney Spears is someone who has pretty much destroyed their own career, and has become a joke for late night fodder. The only good thing that could come out of this meeting is a Gibson-Spears collaboration in music, or in the alternative film. Could you imagine a Gibson directed, violent-gory epic with Britney Spears as the lead. We all know about her acting ability thanks to the theatrical masterpiece Crossroads. I bet this was what the lunch was all about. They were carefully calculating a move to the big screen a la Jessica Simpson. I think I hear Oscar calling.

John Gibson gone!

The coolest dude in news, John Gibson (doing his best Chester the Molester impression above) will no longer host Fox New's "The Big Story." The Big Story was canceled so Fox can have their incessant Election Headquarters on more often. Gibson was your typical Fox conservative who's gimmick was "why can't things be more like the 1950's." John Gibson was not that old, but came off as being nothing more that a crabby old man who needed his Depends changed. He was responsible for the uproar over the Broke Back Mountain joke that went something like this: Jake Gyllehal can now "quit" Heath Ledger. Get it (Ledger was found dead from an accidental drug overdose). I know... how could Fox News get rid of a guy with such acute comedic timing. Gibson will continue on the radio, but will not have his show on the Fox News channel. This is the beginning of Fox's plan to have the network dominated by blond vixens who are highly qualified as communication majors. Americas Newsroom lost a "good American" that can never be replaced. Excuse me while go on a Big Story-You Tube marathon to mourn his passing.

Stay away from downtown!!!!

For the Yinzers... Stay away from the South Side and downtown. I was riding through town, and was witness to the St. Patrick's Day carnage. It look like it rained green drunks. Nothing like people drinking irresponsibly to pay tribute to an Irish saint. There were people falling and stumbling all over the streets, being carried around, and yelling incoherent drunk talk. It looked like a Leprechaun vomited all over 5th avenue. This was 3 pm, so I can only image the havoc that will occur the rest of the night. DUQ.EDU was in full effect. Co-eds were outfitted with green beads and green and white mad hadder hats. It almost made downtown look like a city with young people....almost. In other 412 news Pitt beat Marquette to make it to the Big East Finals tonight at 9. This sends a message loud and clear that Oakland will be the last place in the world that you will find me tonight. Tomorrow, South Oakland is going to look like Mosul after an Iraqi police force recruiting meeting.

UPDATE: PITT beat GEORGETOWN to win the Big East!!! Pitt has been to Finals the last 7 out of 8 years and has now won twice in the last 8 years. This will most likely raise their seed rank for the NCAA tournament. PITT really played impressively in this tournament.

Linky Dinky

Best faux-hawks on BRAVO's Top Chef - Best Week Ever

Yet another crazy Tom Cruise Scientology video - Gawker

Steve-O is going soo insane that he is starting to think rationally (suicide joke...sorry) YouTube

Listen to Anthony Pellacano and Chris Rock plan their revenge- Huffington Post

Boy steals car from child molestor soliciting sex- Fark

Guy goes sky diving with his cat- The look on the cats face before he jumps is priceless- Life

This video is funny - I love when people attack Fox News, on Fox News, Live!

In Honor of St. Patrick!!!

Pittsburgh celebrates St. Patrick day by having the second largest parade and binge drinking party in the Nation. Why you ask? I'm not quite sure. I don't think there are that many Irish people in the city. Pittsburgh is mostly Eastern Europeans, and Italians. I think it is because we have this army of college students that are willing and ready to get shit faced and belligerently drunk. I was one of them at one time. I remember one St. Patricks days I got dangerously drunk by noon, lost my wallet in a bar after falling off a bar stool post Yager shot, then got lost in a two block radius for three hours. I eventually fell again, cut up my face, dislocated my knee, then was finally kicked out of a bar for telling the owner that I knew the owner when they wouldn't serve me. Needless to say, I don't remember any of this, and I am only aware of it from the faithful renditions given to me by my friends. I noticed that the city is having Pittsburgh's finest reality TV's stars around the city at different bars to draw in the crowds. Pittsburgh has a ton of reality TV stars; probably for the same reason we have a huge St. Patricks day parade (see above). We've had two Survivor winners, and pretty much at least one "character" on every major Reality TV show. Currently there are two winners from Pittsburgh on MTV's That's Awhore!!! I am not going to do an exhaustive list, but believe me I bet we have the most from any city besides that place of desperation known as L.A. Getting back to St. Pats day, there was a trailer released for the new Leprechaun movie. It looks terrible....terribly awesome!!!! I think it is like number 12 in the series. Watch the trailer below:

UH OH.....

This may come off as slightly offensive to some, but I try to keep it real. Race issues are alive and very prevelant in today's America. I have said from the beginning of Obama's bid for President that as long as he distances himself from traditional African American political figures (Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson), he will continue to do well and gain support. As soon as race enters any of his speeches or campaign platforms, he's done. African Americans have been discriminated against and abused in a way that white people could never understand. There is no doubt that it continues to this day. Unfortunately, people don't want to hear it. As soon as Obama or anyone who is associated with him begins to speak of African American struggles, he is hurt politically. If Al Sharpton and Obama were photographed together, I guarantee that Hillary Clinton would go up in the polls. Well, a video was released of Obama's pastor preaching about African American struggles. It has of course been a major issue on the news stations and it may effect (or is it affect... my grammar blows!) Obama. You saw Hillary try to use this strategy with the Farakan bit, and you are going to see it alot more. Obama is not making race an issue, but everyone else is. It is a shame that Obama could lose his incredible bid for president because of things other people say. Again, the more race enters the picture the more Obama is damaged. I live in Pennsylvania, and I know that this is even more true in western PA. People don't so much care that Obama is African American, they just don't want to hear him talk about it or the struggles of African Americans. It just goes to show that we have come a long way, but still have a ways to go. Oh, and by the way that preacher is hot shit!!!

I called it!!!!!!!!!

Lost is the absolute best fucking show on TV. They bring it hard core every week. This season has been so good. There is no way it won't win the Emmy. I think the end to the writers strike was partly do to people worrying about missing out on Lost. The show's character development is beyond anything on TV and blows away most silver screen movies. This week we found out Michael is on the Kahana ship. I called it last week. I knew we hadn't seen the last of Michael (or Kevin - his new name). This weeks episode would be sappy under any normal prime time drama, but there is such a connection to the characters because of the incredible writing that it came off genuine. In true Lost fashion we found out that Sun was having a flash forward revealing she is an Oceanic Six member, while Jin was having a flashback. Sun was in labor and Jin was trying to buy a Panda on the way to the emergency room. The viewer was to believe Jin was on his way to see Sun in labor, but at the end of the episode we learn he was actually bringing a gift to the Chinese ambassador's newly delivered son. *****Spoiler**** We find out Jin has somehow died (in September of 2004), and Sun was going through labor alone, delivering the baby girl Jin named, and expressed his desire for on the island. It was emotional, exciting, gripping, and interesting. We further discovered that Penny's father is trying to find the island, and has the black box from the dummy plane that was planted to fool people into believing the plane crashed and all its survivors died. The captain of the Kahana says Ben was responsible for the fake plane and the dead bodies on board, but Michael slipped Sayid and Desmond a piece of paper saying don't trust the captain. Also, what was with the lady who committed suicide? Every question answered on Lost comes along with more mysteries. I know the ending of this show will be a disappointment, but every episode leading up to that point will be worth whatever solution they give us.

PITT upsets Louisville

Go PITT!!! Pitt pulled through and upset Louisville in the Big East tournament. This is critical to get a good seat in the March Madness NCAA tournament. Sam Young had 21 points and 12 rebounds, and hit a pair of free throws with less than a minute left in overtime to help Pittsburgh beat No. 13 Louisville 76-69. Pittsburgh, which has knocked Louisville out of three straight conference tournaments, advanced to play either third-seeded Notre Dame or No. 6 seed Marquette on Friday night in the semi-finals. The Panthers are now 4-0 at Madison Square Garden this year, and 21-8 dating to the 2001-02 season. In other Pittsburgh sports news, Laraque was suspended for his elbowing Buffalo Sabres Nathan Paetsch in the head yesterday. He got a three game penalty. Laraque is one of the NHL's most feared fighters with 1,024 career penalty minutes. Paetsch had to be helped off the ice and remains out indefinitely with a concussion. The three-game suspension will cost Laraque more than $20,000 in salary. Lastly the Bucco's beat the Yankees 5-3. Whod of thought. That is probably the last time we will hear something good about the Pirates until we hear their seson is over in the fall.

Im not just sure....Im HIV positive!!!!

Leave it to South Park to come up with a line like the one above. The new season of South Park debuted last night and was funny, but slightly a let down. Cartman got AIDS, gave it to Kyle, and the two of them went to Magic Johnson to find out how to survive. They discover that injecting money directly into your body cures AIDS. The cure to AIDS is money... 140,000 dollars to be exact. Thats how Magic Johnson has survived the HIV virus for so long. The joke was funny, although we didn't need an entire episode for it. There wasn't even a side plot in this episode. I hope the rest of the season shapes up better. I like it when South Park is topical. Hopefully they will do an Elliot Spitzer episode. I could just imagine how dirty and offensive it could be. They could have a field day with the fact that "Client 9" preferred sexual conduct that appeared to be dangerous or painful.

Watch out for Spiderman!!!!

Read this at Dlisted then come back here. This Spiderman shit is everywhere now days. If you haven't heard, listen to this. There is a cover of Soulja Boy's Superman out now called Spiderman. Spiderman also has an equally awesome hidden meaning. Go here for that. I love how these degrading sexual behaviors are conveniently introduced to the youth of our nation in Superhero references and pop music.

I've got two for yeah....

This is a video of a guy walking into a door while texting. I know, you had to be there.



Next is a local news story of a women finding her boyfriend stuck in her cat door...dead. Of course this happened in Florida. I'm telling everyone out there, Florida is by far the weirdest state in the union. Every bizarre news story comes from Florida. Fat lady growing into her couch, couple marrying in a WALMART, man getting 25 months for selling a gorilla skull, Katherine Harris, Bush v. Gore. Come on, the tourists and the old people who live in the Villages are enough in its self. Read more crazy stories here.

Madonna needs to go away...

There is nothing interesting about the current Madonna. She has become completely irrelevant. Her arrogance, conceit, and (now real) British accent just need to go somewhere, be a mother, and become a relic of pop culture that others use as inspiration. She has done everything that she is going to do, and be remembered for. She has broken the boundaries she is going to break, and made the music we will remember. Most of the music that is on her album now days is written by someone else, and could be just as successful if sung by some other artist. She is beginning to look desperate. For what? relevance. She is so rude and self righteous when she does interviews, and she doesn't even appreciate her fans. Why should anyone pay attention to this old lady? Now lets get to the most important thing. Her looks. She looks crazy as hell. Her face is all botoxed, and her body is banging, but kind of weird. Her hair looks stupid and she dresses dumb. Go away. Take your ridiculous statements with you, and stop trying to cling to young artist to make us forget that you are a fifty year old mother. Come on, Do a Cher or Bette Middler stint in Vegas, or just phone in a world tour like the Rolling Stones. Leave hip to those who look cool doing it. She jumps on trends just trying to stay cool (e.g. the eastern European Gypsy music thing- Gogol Bordello). I feel so much better.  Well, she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame recently (by Justin Timberlake). Iggy Pop did the musical tribute singing Ray of Light and whj... Don't get me started on Iggy Pop either. Jesus Christ put on a shirt. Listen to her talk about using drugs to seem cool below.

Idol update

American Idol turned into a episode of don't forget the lyrics. David Archuletta forget most of the lyrics to We Can Work it Out tumbling from the top stop as favorite for person we will forget ever existed in six months. The rest of the "stars" of the show took turns at butchering the Lenon_McCartney song book. Kristy Lee Cook absolutely massacred 8 Days Week making me feel like I was a Latin-American Dictator trying to out last the CIA in a abandonded wherehouse. The Irish girl did OK, but whatever. Right? I just like seeing Paula last through the last fifteen minutes of the show. From 8:45- 9 her Zanax-Daniels cocktail is wearing of hardcore and she is just basically phoning it in, using all her focus to keep her head from falling into her Coke cup. This is when the real entertainment starts. Pay attention because thats when "Hey Paula" rears her ugly head.

This is for the Pittsburghers out there...

Jeanette beat North Catholic in the PIAA basketball quarterfinals last week and a brawl broke out after the game.(The video above is obviously not the game, but you get the idea) This wouldn't be news aside from the fact that Jeanette has a player on the team named Terrell Pryor. Terrell just happens to be thee best high school football prospect in the country for College football. He is looking at Ohio State, Michigan, and I think West Virginia. He could play college basketball and football for any school he chooses, and he is the best athlete to come out of Western PA since "LA" Lavar Airrington. Well the WPIAL panel had their meeting about the brawl and basically did nothing because Pryor plays for Jeanette. I like the findings of the panel. You know the board couldn't suspend Pryor or any players, so they came up with these ridiculous penalties. My favorite is that both teams must give the WPIAL a written plan on how they will handle the ending of an athletic event. What?! Umm the teams go to the locker room and the people go home. What else is there to do. The teams here got in a fight on the way to the locker room. I don't know how a plan could have prevented this. The other penalties included censuring the administration of both schools, and issuing a "writ of mandamus" (not really) that coaches and players attend anger management. I love what they come up with when suspending players isn't an option. Adults in d-rate administration positions are the best!!

Video of Pryor dunking: