Two Completely Unrelated Hospitalization Stories.

Here are two completely unrelated news stories involving the hospitalization of people. I know there are a wide range of people who read my blog, so I hope something in this post is of interest to someone. First, I have been covering a lot of Sports and more specifically the Penguins, so this first news story is quit compelling. The Ranger's Sean Avery was hospitalized last night. It was first reported that he was found unconscious not breathing last night, but today the New York Times is reporting that he was driven to St. Vincent's Hospital in Manhattan by team doctors after the game.  A few players said Avery did not seem well between the second and third periods. He was admitted into the intensive car unit and diagnosed with a lacerated spleen, an injury not uncommon a sport like Hockey. Avery is known for antagonizing the opposing teams goal tender, and is often an annoying player that gets in the heads of his opponents. His Mosquito like qualities have been a failure against the Pens who lead the series 3-0. He is out for the season. 

In other hospitalization news, Pitchfork reports The MC known as Spank Rock was taken to the hospital in Palm Springs making his Coachella appearance a no go. He underwent a serious emergency surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. I bet his sickness had something to do with Paris Hilton being at Coachella. I am sure it had nothing to do with it, and he never even saw her, but it makes me feel better blaming Paris. Naeem "Spank Rock" Juwan's ailment forced the cancellation of his planned appearance this Friday, May 2 at the grand opening of Brooklyn club Studio B's new rooftop area. (Brazilian Girls, the Rub, Chester French, Roxy Cottontail, and 88-Keys are still scheduled to play that event.) If you missed them at Coachella you can also catch them at Lalapalooza in Chicago this year. If you haven't heard any of Spank Rocks stuff I would recommend starting with "Bump". The track is hard as hell and has a great 16 bar by Amanda Blank who just tears the track to pieces. Lets hope Spank Rock has a speedy recovery so he can continue creating insane, filthy, funky rhymes.

See, we can bring people together covering sports and music. Ailments can open a whole world of information to people who would have never been exposed to it otherwise!!! Something good came out of a lacerated spleen and undisclosed emergency surgery. Here is a Flavorpill Halloween party with Spank Rock and Amanda Blank

I Can't Wait to See Idol Tonight!!

UPDATE: Brooke White was sent packing. There was no notable Paula news aside from Ryan saying something about family, blah blah blah, and that Paula wasn't drunk or something.

I really don't watch idol much. I love the show in the beginning stages, but after they get about 1/3 through eliminating the top twelve, I lose interest until the final three or four. I don't watch the middle part because who cares about the people who will be performing in Stein Mart Department stores by next year. Plus, most of the time is wasted on trying to get of one hanger on for six weeks. Ala Sanjaya. But something did cross by attention last night after the show when I was looking through blogs, and it was the above video. You can tell that Paula is just completely out of it, and comments on two songs of Jason Castro when he only sang one. Awesome!! Now there were rumors all day that Paula was see drinking before the show. If that is true, I say let her drink. That was the most entertaining thing I have ever see on Idol. I love how the audience can be heard laughing. They should just get rid of Simon and Randy and leave Paula as the only judge. Or wait maybe add the crazy New York house wife that has been on You Tube. Now we are cooking. This is how you make sure you don't lose viewers like me. Well, anywho, Idol is back on tonight, I am making sure I watch to see if they have Paula in a straight jacket. You know she will be tyring to be on her best behavior, so she will be doubled Zanaxed. This could be good.

Here is the video:

Coachella is a Music Festival...or Wait...A Celebrity Festival...Whatever.

Aside from being an incredible festival of music that kicks off the summer festival season, Coachella also happens to be the place where celebrities go to pretend that they are cool. You know Paris Hilton and Cameron Diaz call their manager or publicist and ask them to find out who the coolest most hip band is at the festival, so they can make sure they are photographed in the audience or pretending to mouth the lyrics. This years posers were Shia Labouf, Agyness Deyn, Elijah Wood (who is a legitimate music nerd), David Hassellhoff (picture above with Gorgol Bordello), Sean Penn, Paris Hilton, Melanie Griffith, Jessica Alba, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Danny Devito and Sienna Miller just to name a few. If musicians haven't yet been seduced into celebrity, Coachella is the place that gives them that first taste of idol worship. Many bands are indie bands that could never dream about socializing with the likes of Sean Penn or David Hassellhoff. When they do, they sell their soul to the devil, and it is all down hill from there. Pretty soon they will start demanding Crystal at their shows at the Smell. It is always funny to see the paparazzi there to take pictures of the celebrities instead of the bands. There is always this weird cataclysmic media identification issue that occurs in my head when I see a celebrity photographed with a Coachella musician. Is the celebrity being covered? The musician? The festival? You can see the manifestation of this on celebrity blogs and the way they cover Coachella. They usually post a picture of a celebrity saying they are at Coachella, but ignore the fact that there were great bands there. For example, Just Jared's coverage of Shia Lebouf shirtless, with the obligatory comment about Prince closing the show. What is best is when there is a picture of a musician who is also a celebrity like Mark Ronson, Jared Leto, or Scralett Johansson. The celebrity blogs eyes just go crossed trying to figure how to approach the anomaly.

I wasn't at the festival so I can't report on the music, but the best "gossip" to come out of the festival had to be the arrest of CSI actor Gary Dourdan. He was found passed out in his car at 5:21 in the morning in possession of heroin, ecstasy, cocaine, and prescription drugs. The only thing that could have made this better was the addition of a prostitute, preferably a tranny. I guess that he is taking up drug dealing after leaving CSI at the seasons end. Or, which is always my favorite celebrity excuse for bad behavior, he could have been going method for a role. Hey, Hugh Laurie experimented with Vicodin for House. I have heard crazier things. Gary should just say that he was going method as a drug addicted dealer for a role. I am sure a lot of people would fall for it. This story is great because we, of course, get a celebrity mug shot. I really need to find my card deck made up of celebrity mug shots. I have always wanted to design a line of coffee mugs that have celebrity mug shots on them. I shouldn't have said that huh. Well that is evidence of my idea, and anyone who copies can look forward to a lawsuit. I will be lawyer in two weeks so beware!!!

Penguins 3 Games Rangers 0 Games.

Well, if the New York Rangers couldn't beat the Penguins tonight, I doubt they are going to beat them at all in this series. The Rangers out shot the Pens 39 to 16, and had their opportunity in power plays, but couldn't come up with the win. There was just too much fire power on Lunquist from Malkin and crew. The Penguins again showed how good they are in blocking shots and stopping power plays. I can just hear the New York media whining now. Ahhhh poor New York. You may have the best city in the world, but you don't have the best Hockey team Yo! Whats up, 412 baby!!! The Rangers desperately brought all they could but lost in a devastating way. The Pens are up 3-0 in the series and have all but locked up a spot in the Eastern Conference Finals. Pittsburgh is Fired up !!! Hossa scored first on the second shot of the game followed by George Laraque (yeah Laraque). Malkin made it 3-1 with a slap shot from just above the right circle. The Rangers came back from the Pens lead only to have Ryan Hollweg ruin a 60 second Ranger control of the puck with a boarding penalty. Malkin jumped on this opportunity by scoring his second goal of the night. Ryan Malone tipped in a shot with 17 minutes to go, which sealed the deal. The Pens are not even celebrating over being up 3-0 and having their first win this season in New York. They have their eye on the prize. The Stanley Cup is their goal and they won't be happy till it's in Pittsburgh. Mike Casey had a nice live blog over on Newsday.com if you want a more detailed analysis. I am most impressed with the Pens professionalism, poise, and modesty with this playoff success. The interviews post game are amazing and makes you feel that this team deserves the 7 and 0 record of the playoffs. I know that was cheesy, but that's what the Pens are doing to us Pittsburghers.

Just Because I Have to, "Hear" is Scarlett Johansson's New Song.

This is the new single and video from Scarlett Johansson's Tom Waits cover album. The song is Tom Wait's "Falling Down". I actually appreciate this. Sure her voice really isn't that good, and it sounds like a cheap Sinead O'Connor impersonation, but I would rather an actress try something different than bad pop music along the lines of Lohan, Lopez, and Tinsdale.  Plus David Bowie is featured in this, which is always a plus. This is a trippy track that feels like it was dipped in acid or angel dust. It is going for that Mazzy Star feel with the obvious David Sitek touch. From what I hear, this is the best track on the album. I would be willing to say more good things about the track, but I just can't get past the fact that she really can't sing. Just like the Madonna album this would be better without her, and with some other singer. ( I am not going to give up on driving a stake through Hard Candy, sorry). The video is kind of funny. I like how they show her tattoo being covered with make up. We get it Scarlett, we never see the true you up there on the screen. They should cover that tattoo up anyway. I thought it was a joke for a role the first time I saw it. It looks upside down.

Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape?

First Marilyn Monroe, and now Jimi Hendrix? The New York Times is reporting that Vivid Entertainment is releasing a grainy video that is purportedly Jimi Hendrix having sex who two unidentified women. Many believe that this is not him. The video is 45 minutes long with only 11 minutes of sex. Why are sex tapes that people are not even sure are celebrities selling? Especially ones of celebrities from the 60's. Who the hell cares about this shit, and who would but it. There is even less of a reason to buy this than the new Madonna album. Now if Jimi Hendrix was tripping his face off while trying to have sex that may be something worth watching. It may be like one of those videos that you have to watch high. Kind of like Harrold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

Madonna Sucks!

All right this is my amateur review of the new Madonna album Hard Candy. If you took all of the top 20 pop songs of the last 3 years, took out the lyrics, and added Madonna's annoying voice you have Hard Candy. What makes this album even more agonizing is that it is a fifty year old women singing on tracks that are written for Mylie Cyrus or Hillary Duff. Sure the tracks are a little more edgy thanks to Pharrell and Timbaland, but I still can't shake the fact, while listening to this bubble gum pop, that an old lady is singing. Madonna comes off as trying too hard. Heartbeat is the track that is most guilty of this. The song tries to be something reminiscent of her 1980's music, but really sounds like a bad Kylie Minogue interpretation. Timbaland more or less phones it in. Devil Wouldn't Recognize you is so Timbaland that it makes you laugh thinking that he didn't even try to come up with something new. The best track is 4 Minutes, which does nothing for people buying the album. I did like Give It 2 Me and Voices, but that is not enough for me to recommend the album.

  Like I have said before Madonna should really leave pop music to those who are young. It is time to hang up the towel. Madonna is somewhat aware of this on the track Shes Not Me, where she sings about other pop stars. This battle track is pathetic and only furthers the argument that Madonna looks stupid with her legs spread on the cover of the album. All of the songs on the album would be better if sung by a younger more relevant pop star. The beats are decent, and if anything are a lesson in the way the music industry works. You hire a producer to make hot tracks for you. We are all aware of this, but Madonna comes across with such conceit and pretense, acting like she has one up on us by coming up with great pop tracks. The problem is that these tracks are no different than anything you would hear on the radio today. She is to late in the game. We have heard it all before. Like I said, adding Madonnas voice only decreases the relevance and punch of the music. 

I have one question for her: Why? Why make this album? There is no reason for it. The only explanation is that Madonna wants to stay relevant, which she fails miserably at. Don't waste your time with this album or Madonna. Anything you would hear on this album, you have heard before. If you want to hear good pop there is music out there that blows this junk out of the water. Yelle, Robyn, or even Kylie Minogue are more worth your time.

You May Now Kick the Shit Out of Your Bride!!

The Burgh blog has a pretty good post about a lovely young couple in Ross Township (Wud up Ross Township!!!) that got married and celebrated with a public display of affection involving a karate kick to the stomach and brawl in the lobby of the Holiday Inn. The couple began fighting with each other, but then combined their collective trashiness on an innocent couple that stepped in to subdue the bride and groom. Authorities say the groom, Dr. David Wielechowski (yes, doctor), round-house kicked his bride, Christa, knocking her to the floor, which prompted two hotel guests to run to her aid. All four got into a fight, and ended up in the hotel elevator heading down to the first floor. According to the criminal complaint, once on the first floor, the bride and groom picked up metal planters and threw them at Joseph Vacca and Richard Dovi (the Good, but stupid, Samaritans that were attempting to calm down the newly weds). Officials say during the brawl, Vacca knocked out a tooth, suffered a cut to his face and also has a possible broken thumb, and Dovi suffered a minor laceration on his chin. One eye witness said that Christa was screaming incoherently and flailing her arms around at anyone who came near her. The witness also said that David the Dentist was even trying to fight the paramedics who came to treat his injuries. I bet these two were drunk and coked out of their minds. Dentists love coke. The couple was arrested by police and they are now facing charges of simple assault and public drunkenness. Police told KDKA news that the couple managed to create an estimated $1,000 in damages to the hotel during the brawl. Nothing says I love you like kicking your bride in the stomach, and causing complete chaos at your reception. I love the above picture of Christa being released on her own recognizance in her wedding dress, and David with a black eye. This confirms my hopes that she had to spend all of Sunday... in jail... in her wedding dress. Nice. I once went to a wedding reception at this very Holiday Inn, and surprise surprise a fight broke out with the best man being arrested. In that case, the fight was a result of my friend asking the groom "who was that fat ugly lady" who came to the room to tell us to quite down. That fat ugly lady was the grooms mom, and the rest was a Sunday afternoon wedding bloopers segment on Oxygen.  

UPDATE: This gem has made its way to Dlisted! Lets see how many blogs can pick up a story about the municipality I live in !!!

They Should Put Chris Crocker on Gossip Girls.

As I've said before, Chris Crocker is  dead ringer for Sabrina's brother (Connor Paolo) on Gossip Girl. There has been talk that one of the characters would be coming out of the closet this season, and many have postulated that it is going to be Serena's brother Eric Van Der Woodsen. If the creators are going to do this, they should really go all out. Chris Crocker would be perfect. They should let him completely be himself and put no restraints on his flamboyance- sun dresses and all. He should play himself just with the name Eric instead. It would make Gossip Girls even more gay and fabulous than it is (Im not sure if that is possible) I could just picture the cast at a Van Der Woodsen family dinner with Chris Crocker in high heels and a purse. Look at the picture above, how could that not make Gossip Girl better? I am not a big fan of Gossip Girls, but I do watch it with my fiance. The show is your typical drama filled prime time soap, but with Manhattan references. Adding Chris Crocker would fullfill the network's desperate attempt at ratings. Does anyone else notice the shameless shoving of Gossip Girl commercials down our throats. College Humor had a funny video today about Gossip Girls being interrupted by a promo for a new show Cop Nation. The station spends more time promoting shows than shows themselves.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Republican Congressman Trying to Ban Soft-Porn Magazines in the Army

Representative Broun (R-GA) from Georia has introduced a bill into Congress that would outlaw the sale of magazines such as Maxim, Playboy, and Penthouse at Military Bases. He would also define lewd so that it would include Laddie magazines, thus bringing them under existing government law. “Our troops should not see their honor sullied so that the moguls behind magazines like Playboy and Penthouse can profit,” said Rep. Paul Broun, unveiling his House bill April 16. 

I love how republicans always cry about supporting the troops, but now they want to remove any ability of service men to get some gratification while putting their lives in harm over seas. At least their priorities are straight. No protection on Humvees, lack of funding, upgrades to armor? Nah, those aren't important things to the troops. Seeing girls boobies...now that is an issue causing a crisis for our men and women in uniforms. He has justified the bill by using some twisted logic making the argument that this is aimed at protecting the honor of the troops. So we honor service men and women by preventing them the ability to acquire jack-off material? This isn't going to effect rapes of civilians over seas at all. 

Can't a Marine Jack-off in peace? Seeing a military barrack without pictures of naked women in it is like seeing an army uniform that is not camouflage. This is attacking the very fibers that make the military what it is. I wonder if this bill would cover the Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair photo shoot? Republicans are soo backward. I am just waiting for a bill that would declare that the world is flat, or that the sun revolves around the earth. Don't worry, I am sure that Mr. Broun will be caught with a prostitute or with child porn with in the year. The text of the bill can be viewed here.

This Has To Be Somewhere in the Netherlands...

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Cityrag has posted their top ten favorite videos from CollegeHumor. All of them are worth watching, but I took a particular liking to this one because a) its a kid dancing to trance music b) you have to pay attention to context clues to figure out what country this was filmed in. There is some talking towards the end that sounds like a different language, but for the most part you can use the music, the kid, the girls, and the fact that it is a giant Budweiser trailer with Dj's in it to make an educated guess at what country we are in(whoever can call out who those Dj's are gets a yet undisclosed prize, I 'm saying Deepdish?). Further,  keep your eye on the kid, who is the true star of this video. You have to watch through the bridge of the track, where it breaks down them builds up to its climactic trance-thematic explosion. The kid does his best artistic interpretation, which blows moves I have seen at Raves out of the water. My guess is that this is in Belgium, Netherlands, Germany or Scandinavia, but it could be here in New York or Miami. What's your guess?

A Return to Trash!!!

I have gone over board on sporting news this weekend, so I thought that I would trash things up a bit with some entertainment junk. Here is a picture of Hannah Montanna apparently going topless for a Vanity Fair shoot. She looks to be holding a bed sheet over her chest. Awesome, sexy in bed! I can just picture (although I won't) 12 year old girls everywhere posing topless with their bed sheet in front of the mirror in their pink rooms. They are right next to their stuffed animals, and right in front of their dollhouses. We just really want to ruin this girl's life, uh? What are her parents doing? She is being perfectly groomed to have a late twenty's nervous breakdown, where she is removed from her Beverly Hills Mansion tied to a gurney. Now you may think I am over reacting over a photo shoot, but it is just one of many things that shows this girl is being deprived of a normal fifteen year old life. She has replaced normal life experiences with publicity and fame. When the lights and cameras wear off as happy pill drugs, she will turn to pain and anxiety pills or street drugs, and we will be there waiting with our keyboards and comment threads. South Park has interpreted it the best. I also think that we are doing an incredible job of creating a nation of pedophiles. Why do young girls need to be overly sexualized? There are enough models out there to provide masturbation material. At least wait till they are 18 before you start posing them with their legs spread. There is a nation of tweens stalking this girl. We should at least sit them down and explain to them the shit storm that will inevitably occur in the next couple years. 

Pittsburgh Grabs 2-0 Lead Over Rangers in Eastern Conference Semi-Finals.

Pittsburgh won game two of the Eastern Conference Sem-Finals Sunday at Mellon Arena. Pittsburgh was on their game blocking shots, and Fleury was credited with his second shut out of the play offs. "Tug-Gate" had little to no effect on Crosby and the team. One visible effect of the controversy was when Rangers defenceman Fedor Tyutin was called for dumping Crosby late in the first period, Jaromir Jagr took a swipe at Crosby after the call and could be seen saying "get up". Ahh poor Rangers. The penguins took the lead with Staal scoring goal number one at 6:05 in the second period. The Rangers basically had a goal in the third with a Straka shot, but the play was stopped by referees before the puck made it into the net. Adam Hall finished off the Rangers in the last minute with an empty net goal. The Penguins have showed they can be as physical and strong as any tenured team in the league. Games 3 and 4 will be Tuesday and Thursday nights at Madison Square Garden, where Pittsburgh is 0-3-1 this season. The Penguins train is gaining more and more steam with more fans climbing on every game. At this point, every verbal fellation and joygasm is warranted and Deadspin can suck it! Hockey fans better get used to seeing a successful Pittsburgh Hockey team. 

Steelers Choose Running Back as First Round Pick in NFL Draft

UPDATE: Steelers pick Texas wide receiver Lamas Sweed as their second pick, fulfilling Roethlisberger's wish for a tall wide reciever. Sweed stands 6' 4'' 220 pounds. 

The Steelers chose Rashard Mendenhall, a running back from Illinois, as their first round pick in the 2008 NFL draft. Many, including the Steelers, were surprised that Mendenhall was still around, so it is not that much of a shock that Pittsburgh quickly picked him up instead of a lineman, corner back, or wide receiver. Mendenhall is 6' 225 lbs, and runs a 4.5 second 4o yard. He was pretty much the reason that Illnois made it to the Rose Bowl. Some are saying that Mendenhall has a tendency to fumble and has to take too many steps to run. Whatever, I'm talking out of my ear here. The dude looks good to me, and should work well as a one-two punch with Willie Parker. I would like to see an offensive lineman or a wide receiver in round two. I'm not to hard to please. I don't know much, but I listen. The only thing I am sure of is that we won't get a quarter back or a tight end.  Steelers have five more picks. I will try to keep everyone informed. Below is some video of Rashard.

Penguins Win Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals!!!

Penguins win game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals 5-4 with one of the most thrilling games of the season, and undoubtedly one of the best playoff games in recent history. The Rangers had a three nothing lead up until 8 minutes into the second period when Ruttu scored with a Jordan Staal assist. Fourteen seconds later Crosby assisted Dupuis to make it 3-2.  The third period was more of the same with Hossa scoring at 4:40 followed by Sykora dumping one in twenty seconds later to take the lead. The Rangers came back to tie the game at 10 minutes in the third with a goal by Scott Gomez assisted by Mr. Mullet himself Jaromir Jager. It was Jager's second assist of the night. Evgeni Malkin sealed the deal at 18 minutes with a goal assisted by Crosby and Whitney. Jordan Staal gets bragging rights over his brother Marc Staal, and Pittsburgh gets to continue its euphoric wave of excitement. I can't tell you how great it is for Hockey fans in the Burgh right now. They are playing the games live on a big screen outside Mellon arena, and it is incredible to see people in downtown, at night, being entertained. Like I've said before, this is a new excitement different than Steeler's fever. The whole city is getting in on the action, and it is indescribable. Game 2 will be at Mellon arena at  2:00 PM, and it is going to be insane. The City is going to go Krakatoa on the Ranger's ass!!!!

Live Blogging Doesn't Work For The Pens

I was going to live blog for the first playoff series between the Rangers and the Pens, but I quickly realized that when the Pens are scoring their first two goals in 14 seconds then the second two goals to tie and take the lead in 30 seconds, I could not keep up with their awesomeness. All you need to know right now is that the Pens are leading 4-3 with 12 minutes left in the 3rd period!! Also I use this picture anytime the Pens play the Rangers because of Jager.

UPDATE: Now tied up at 4-4 with 9 minutes to go boooooo!!!!

UPDATE: CROSBY!!!! SCORES!!! 5-4 with 1 minute and 41 seconds

UPDATE: PENS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rangers pulled the goal tender, shot hits the Pens goal post, and Pens win. 

This Lindsay Ronson Thing Just Keeps Getting More Weird.

E! News is reporting that a 22 year old girl named Lindsay, but not Lindsay Lohan jumped into Samantha Ronson's DJ booth at the Crimnson Lounge in Chicago. The "Not Lindsay Lohan" punched kicked and battered security guards and Ronson when she was physically forced out of the booth. Lohan, who an eyewitness said was "by Sam's side the entire time," having spent several hours hanging out beside her BFF's DJ booth, had already retired to her and Ronson's shared suite at Hotel Sax, where the club is located. It was just after the star departed that Lindsay Burns made her move, resulting in four security guards scurrying to remove her from the premises. Don't fuck with "Les Bos" they will fuck you up! Haven't you ever seen that South Park episode. This whole Lindsay Lohan -Samantha Ronson thing is getting weird. It reminds of that movie Notes on a Scandal. What dirt does Ronson have on Lohan? Or, is this just your typical lesbo courting your drunk slut who is sick of dick? That would actually make more sense, seeing that Lindsay Lohan has been passed around most of Hollywood and Long island. Really what is going on, is that Lindsay Lohan never went to College, so she never got to do that experimental thing. You know, there was always that lesbian in school that completely converted some straight girl your freshman year of college, and by your junior year the straight girl was in a sorority and had a restraining order out on the lesbo. This is Lohan's chance to have a same-sex college fling. Here is a clip from D-Yikes South Park episode.

Amy Winehouse Has Been Looking Good Rec.....Oh Wait That Was A Stray Cat I Saw.

For a second there, right around the Grammys Wino started to look like she was pulling her life together. She began looking less Cro-magnon Women, and was sleeping at night. Well, that was quickly destroyed just like any possibility of a second successful album. Amy is back to doing what she does best: impersonating a cave women, wondering the streets in the dead of night, and head butting good samaritans. I guess the other night was a particularly successful night of trashcan antics. The above headline of, I am assuming the Sun, says it all. I am just as shocked as you. I would never think someone who looks like Amy Winehouse (i.e. a crackhead) could be capable of such behavior.... Actually I would be more surprised if I wasn't hearing things like this about her. To top off her goal driven life, London Police are now investigating assault and drug use charges to see whether an arrest is in order. Good for her!! I am so happy for her! We really need cameras to follow her around. It is a match made in Reality TV heaven.

Real World Reflections...

This season's Real World is shaping up to be pretty real. Since they have been forthcoming about the reasons people are on the show, we have no false pretenses about motives. Wednesdy had some notable events. First off we had the "fight" between Brianna and Kimberly that MTV has been hyping for months. For the most part it was your normal skank fight that can be seen on any reality TV show. Kimberly made it worth watching just to witness the shear idiocy of the term "Blackville" being used to reference where Bree was from. Brianna on the other hand proved to everyone why she has a warrant out for her arrest for assault. She must of gotten confused between her job as a Ho and her real life as a ....Ho. It cracks me up that Bree thinks that she can seperate taking her clothes off as an object to make money, and taking her clothes of for men to get find someone to sleep with. Being a stripper affects your head no matter how you try to justify it as being a job only. Strippers are crazy. period. Bree is going cross eyed trying to prove to people that working the pole is a job and doesn't effect her person life. We also got to hear the memorable quote spoken my Julia Allsion, I mean Sarah. When speaking about Bree she said, "I have read about women like Bree in my classes," so she understands how her mind works. Sarah is a womens study major, so she is able to critically look at Bree like an animal in a zoo, taking notes to be used later in some sort of demented psychoanalysis. I find in funny that Sarah is a womens study major, but runs around the house falling for the advances of every man using every trick in the book to get into her pants. Nothing like female empowerment. Go to Real World Dailies to get all your unedited fix on fights, drunken bafoonery, and any other reaon to watch the real world. Oh yea, Joey is building up for a nice drunken meltdown coming some time in the future. His cross -eyed -meat- head insanity is just ready to explode.

Jimmy Falon to take over for Conan Obrien

It was announced today that Jimmy Falon would be taking over for Conan Obrien, when Conan Obrien leaves to take over for Jay Leno. Few. Alot of people are shocked by this because they don't think Jimmy Falon is funny enough. I for one, was one of the few people in the world that actually thought Taxi was funny, so I think Falon is capable of entertainment. I guess NBC figures no one watches Late Night anyway, so they mind as well give Falon a shot. I do have some reservations about this. I don't know if a talk show host is the best medium for Falon's comedic talent. What, is he going to do the monologue with an acoustic guitar? YES, I guarantee it. I guess I have to remember that Conan Obrien was pretty bad at what he did, but he was funny and the show worked. O'Brien is often manic, he talks over guest, and rarely listens to what they have to say so that he can insert jokes, but it works in its dysfunctional way. Lets home Jimmy Falon can get some dysfunctional functionality going when he takes over. Oh, and anything is better than Last Call with Carson Daily and that Craig Ferguson guy.

Did Everyone See This? Obama is a Steelers Fan! Well, at least while he is in Pittsburgh.

At a campaign stop in Pittsburgh, Barrack Obama said that his favorite football team growing up was the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now, we in Pittsburgh all know that the cheapest way to get support is to start a Steelers chant or say something about the team in public. Every public event I have ever been to in Pittsburgh involves some reference to the Steelers at some point. Whether it is a live show where the performer says something about the Steelers, or just a large group of Pittsburghers who decide to start a "Hear We Go Steelers" chant, when there is a place with a lot of people and usually a stage, you will hear a Steelers plug. I've heard Slug from Atmosphere shout out to the Steelers, and Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. Hell, I even heard Chris Martin of Coldplay say something about Rothlesburger at a Coldplay show. So I am a bit skeptical about Obama's proclomation. Why is someone growing up in Hawaii, and choosing Pittsburgh's football team as their favorite, so hard to believe? Watch below and judge for yourself.

I Have Found My New Ringtone!!!

A wall-mounted gadget designed to drive away loiterers with a shrill, piercing noise audible only to teens and young adults has been developed and sold to almost 1,000 United States business owners. The gadget has been dubbed the "Mosquito" because of the buzzing sound that it makes in young adults ears. I have found my new ringtone! It only works on young adults becasue they still have the sensitive hairs in their ear, yet to be destroyed by loud music. I would seriously consider buying one of these for myself, and taking it to the mall or an Avril Lavigne concerts just to fuck with tweens. They should also consider taking this thing to Mexico and Australia to help battle Punk on Emo hate crimes. I do have to say that when you are young you don't have much to do, so "hanging out" is what you live for. Now the Mosquito is interfering with kids ability to do nothing. Some Civil Rights groups are saying this interferes with young adults rights to ummm.... I guess hang out. Others are saying that the Mosquito is a dangerous and cruel form of punishment, and it should not be in the hands of private business owners. The American Civil Liberties Union says it does not have a position on it, which says a lot. Hey, as long as the effects don't go farther than a person's private property, and there are no long or short term health concerns, I don't see a problem with it. I am sure that I will be suing someone over this in my law career anyway.

Is Hillary Clinton ruining the Clinton Legacy?

I was about seconds away from voting for Clinton on Tuesday. I was torn between both candidates up until the point I stepped into the voting both. What made me vote for Obama was his character through out this primary. I feel that Obama has conducted himself impeccably well. Clinton, on the other hand, has come off no better than Karl Rove and his Republican lackeys. This begs the question: Are the Clintons destroying their 1990's legacy? For Democrats the Clintons have been like royalty. Bill can charge upwords of 200,000 dollars for appearances, and Hillary had a reputation of being upstanding politician. The fact that Hillary won't concede a loss, and the fact that the whole family is starting to wear thin on even the most die hard Democrats is destroying the Clinton name. Up until this primary, the Clintons were on par to be compared to the Kennedey's in terms of public service. Now, they are beginning to look desparate, and somewhat comparable to the way the right has been portraying them for the last ten years. This does not look good for the family. I think that Clinton needs to get out of the race to protect the Clinton name. Your thoughts?

I Finally Gave In...

I saw this video all over the internet, and resisted watching because I felt Riskay and "Smell Yo Dick" was soo last year. I finally gave in and watched the video, and to my elation the video is soo much better than I ever thought it could be. The fat dude should get every acting award that is known to man. The video completes Riskay's mark on internet history.

OJ Simpson Is Funny...

OJ Simpson has apparantley asked Donald Trump if he can be on the next Celebrity Apprentice. I just love how OJ Simpson refuses to acknowledge that most people see him as a murderer and violent person. He just decides to live in his own world where everyone loves him, and thinks hes talented. That aggravated assault charge? Oh that was nothing, just a misunderstanding. That murder trial? Oh yeah what a shame, I'm still looking for the true killer. He is just a great liar, and an insane person, which translates into great reality TV character. This would be a great idea, except for the fact that Simpson kills people. I could just see him murdering Ricki Lake on the Apprentice and convincing himself that he was innocent. They would get into an argument over creating a Kodak photo commercial and OJ would throw her out a window in the Trumo Towers, only to deny ever meeting her. Worth the ratings? ......maybe.  I just have to add the video of OJ going on live TV in Dallas to answer questions. Yeah see what I mean about being in another world, and the thing about great TV.

Favorite Headline of the Day: Star Jones Files for Divorce

Not that I wish heartbreak and divorce on anyone... wait yes I do, and this is one person that I definitely wished it on. Star Jones ran around writing books and bragging about how much she was in love, and how great her relationship was. When people do things like this you can't help root for their relationship to come crashing down to the ground in flaming ashes. Speaking of flaming wasn't her husband gay anyway? I think some website was calling him Big Gay Al. Ha. Anyway, Star Jones filed for divorce back in March, but acknowledged it today. Her huge lavish wedding, and self indulgent book was all a show, trying to hide the likely failure of the relationship. Now her marriage and her book can be in the half priced books bin at Barnes and Nobles. Poor Star, she ruined her only chance to be "happily marraied" because we all know that no one will make the mistake that Al made again. All this story does is make be think about how much I miss the fat Star Jones. I loved hearing her fat person breathing. You know the weezing sound that is made from being fat and talking to much. Also We will never be able to see things like this again :
star jones gets hit in the face with a football

This Weeks CD You Should Buy

This week I am urging everyone to buy, download, or burn MIA's new album Kala.  I know that came out a long time ago, but some may have not heard it yet. The album was without a doubt one of the best albums of 2007, and the single Paper Planes was probably my favorite song of last year, and this year so far. Many argue that MIA is nothing without Diplo, but on her sophomore album she proves that she was not completely dependant on the producer (although the best songs on the album are produced by Diplo). It says a lot when the weakest song on the album is the Timbaland track. Keep your ears open for the Pixies inspired $20. The song is MIA's interpretation of  "Where is My Mind". There is also a cover of Parvati Khan's "Jimmy", the theme song from a Bollywood movie called Disco Dancer (this song was also recently covered by Of Montreal). The album basically feels like a ride through refugee camps around the world with MIA, Switch, and Diplo picking up samples along the way. MIA adds her third world chest thump, and we get music that pushes the boundaries of art, and further advances world musics field trip into pop and underground music. 

Here is Parvati Khan's Jimmy, MIA's Jimmy,  and Of Montreal's Jimmy. Which is your favorite????

The Mets Get Rick Rolled.

I was never really a fan of this Rick Rolled thing. I kind of thought it was a weak prank, but instead of staying stagnant or getting old, the prank is actually got somewhat better. First, I saw this video of someone at a Westboro Baptist Church protest, then I hear about Fark urging people to vote online to make "Never Going to Give You Up" the team song for the New York Mets. And of course, no one tipped the Mets management off to this. What follows has to be the best and what we can only hope is the last Rick Roll. I know this is about two weeks old, but I just caught wind of it. Lets all agree this was funny, and put an end to this. I saw E.D. Hill talking about it on Americans Pulse on Fox News. Is that not the proverbial nail in the coffin?

Here is the Mets Rick Roll that the MLB is not to happy about.

Its One of Those Housewifes From Those Shows on Bravo!

This is a picture of Lindsey Lohan at some Tropicana event where Samantha Ronson was a guest DJ. I guess these two are still finding some use for each other. I am always just amazed at how bad Lohan looks. We were watching Mean Girls the other night, and I couldn't believe how much this girl has aged since that movie. She had such promise. It's like she was tied to the back of a horse somewhere in Texas, its ass was slapped, and she was dragged  to wherever in LA. or New York this picture was taken. She looks older than her mother, but not quit as old as her little sister. I've seen better looking 21 year olds in McKees Rock strip clubs Yo! She would be a perfect candidate for that Real Housewife's of New Jersey show Bravo is currently filming. She would fit right in with middle age women trying to relive their youth through money and bad martini bars.  Oh yeah and i guess Gawker has found Lindsay's Facebook page. She calls herself Lindsay Ronson. I guess she is serious about this lesbian stuff. 

This Is The Last Time I Post Anything About The Hills....Promise.

I think most people try to figure out why they are watching the Hills for the whole half hour that it is on.  I can't believe that anyone could actually be team LC. She is boring, demanding, and generally a difficult person. No wonder guys cheat on her. I would. You're bored with her once you get to know her. At this point, I find it hard to believe that Miss Conrad herself hasn't accused MTV of editing the show to make her look like a bitch. Speaking of editing, the Hills have completely destroyed my understanding of how normal human communication works. They have edited things to the point where not only is the body language hard to read, but apparently it means something different that what I have learned after 27 years. Case in point, when Lo and LC ask Audrina to live with them in a new house, the body language, through editing, tells me that Lauren and LC don't want Audrina to live with them, and that Audrina doesn't want to live with them, but Audrina agrees to live with them, and they seem to be happy about it.  MTV  wants to force into a 30 second lunch all signs pointing to Lauren and Audrina growing apart, so they will edit the lunch to hell when the signs aren't naturally there. The looks don't match up with the language. I am surprised they did not edit in a facial expression that Lauren made from last season. I could just picture them doing something stupid like that when they can't find a glance or facial expression that fits the story line. They would be in a restaurant and pan to Lauren in a different outfit making a face then pan back to her in the restaurant. That's pretty much the Hills: Lauren sucking, and weird editing. 

In other waste of time TV, Gossip Girls came back last night, and I was forced to watch it with my fiance. It definitely is not the best TV show ever like the New York Magazine has said it is, although there were a few things to make note of. First, Sabrina's brother (the one everyone says will be gay) is a dead ringer for Chris Crocker, the leave Britney alone guy, and second, they use real references to things in New York, which are fun to listen too. Last nights episode kept making references to Butter, which dates when that episode was written (Butter has to be over by now). It will be interesting to see if the show is effected at all by WB's publicity push. Me thinks the show was not doing to well before the break it took. 

Don Bardem Says: Screw The Hill District I Have My Own Problems!

Back When there was talk of the new Penguins arena having a slots license, Don Bardem pledged 3 million dollars to help revitalize the area around the Penguins areana known as the Hill District. Well, that was sooo 2006. Barden has backed out of his pledge due to "the grant of development rights to another party." This comes as no surprise because Bardem has been in a financial mess recently with the financing of his North Shore Casino. He included the request to withdraw funding from the Hill with a request seeking to modify the financing for his Pittsburgh casino, which is scheduled to open in May 2009. In an annual report filled last week, Majestic Star Casino LLC reported $26.1 million in losses last year and claimed $556.7 million in debt, leaving it with very little cash to upgrade its properties to better compete, particularly in Indiana and Mississippi. Bardem is assuring Pittsburgh that this won't have an impact on the North Shore Csino, but it already has. Barden's Pittsburgh company PITG Gaming LLC, obtained a $200 million "bridge" loan to start construction of the North Shore casino because PITG Gaming has yet to obtain the $450 million in permanent financing required to build the casino more than a year after winning the state license to operate it. UH OH. Barden insists that the debt and inability to acquire permanent financiing are unrelated. PITG Gaming LLC is a serperate entity than Majestic Star. They are both subsidiaries of Barden Development INC. Most have blamed the subprime mortgage disaster for some of the financing problems. Barden says that the issues with his other casinos are distinct and related to competition, which the Pittsburgh Casino won't have a problem with. Regardless, this is not great news for Pittsburgh, especially when the city has soo much riding on this Casino.

Correction- Cyril Wecht

I just wanted to correct something that I have been posting recently. There were early reports that the jury had favored aquittal in the Cyril Wecht trial, but a story in the Post Gazette today indicated otherwise. "The jury in the federal trial of Dr. Cyril H. Wecht split 6-5 in favor of conviction on 17 of the 41 public corruption counts against the former Allegheny County coroner, according to a letter from a juror released yesterday by the U.S. government." This was released by Mary Beth Buchanan to support the retrial that she has been going after. Many have criticized her choice, and the FBI contact of the jurors post trial. The letter from the juror was included in a court filing responding to defense allegations that the government might have improperly identified jurors and used FBI agents to contact them after the case ended last week in a mistrial. "At no time during this process did any agent or attorney for the government intimidate or threaten any jurors in any way whatsoever, and at no time did any government attorneys or agents violate any order of this court," Assistant U.S. Attorney Stephen S. Stallings wrote. I can't believe we are going to have to go through this all again beginning May 27th.

Defamer Lives up To Its Name

I can't help but be interested in the on going conflict over on Defamer between the website and two Marilyn Monroe enthusiasts. I am going to keep this clearly an opinion post, because I don't want to be dragged into the legal battle. I am also going to link to the so called defamatory article and not quote it for fear of being accused of re-publication. Anyway, there was a news story that there was this Marilyn Monroe sex tap that was sold to some wealthy millionaire in New York. Apparently, a Marilyn Monroe expert, who has a documentary coming out, named Keya Morgan said that he brokered the deal. Then Defamer got another Marilyn Monroe expert, Mark Bellinghaus, to look into Morgan's claim. What followed was a Defamer article where Mark Bellinghaus said that in his professional opinion and from talking to Morgan, he felt the video tape doesn't exist, and that this is a publicity stunt. Of Course lawyers have now gotten involved, and you can read the back and forth between Gawker counsel and Morgans reps on Defamer today. I am interested in this because this is the area of the law I have focused on in school. In my opinion this is not defamation, and even if some of what Bellinghaus said is false and found to be damaging to Morgans's reputation, they are going to have to prove that Defamer and Bellinghaus printed it knowing it was false or recklessly indifferent to its validity. Morgan is most certainly a public figure. Look at his IMDB page. There is no way a successful defamation lawsuit can be brought in this case. But, Morgans troubles have not ended there. Now The Smoking Gun has come forward with its claim that Morgan has taken artistic liberty with how the film was obtained. So more and more holes are being poked in this mans story, and he is having trouble filling them in. I just like that fact that two websites, The Smoking Gun and Defamer, are in the middle of a controversy about Marilyn Monroe, and their sites are an ironic post modern thrown back to the old time Hollywood we saw featured in movies like LA Confidential and Hollywoodland.

Another Example of Why Michelle Collins Rules!

Click here to read the Best Week Ever Post that accompanied this picture. Also run your mouse over the picture for a surprise.

Randy Marsh Is The True Star Of South Park

Did everyone catch South Park the other night? It says alot when Eric Cartman was not even on the whole episode. Cartman was pretty much responsible for the success of South Park in its early days of creation, but Cartman is no longer the star of the show. Randy Marsh has established himself as the best charcter on the show. Sure seasons past have hinted at the fact that Stan's dad was often under utilized, but the last two seasons have made up for it by giving the "everyman" the screen time he deserves. Ever since the masturbating in the hot tub episode, Randy has been the focus of some of the best story lines on the show. The over zelous sports parent - "uhh what are you going to do?", the guitar hero, drunk driving, local hero,  the "cheeser", and now the internet porn craver. South Park has realized they were sitting on a gold mine with Randy Marsh, and to the benefit of all of us, he has been getting more and more story lines. Lets hope this attention to the big dumb animal of a dad continues because South Park has had some of its best episodes in years keeping Randy Marsh in the plot lines.

OK I Get It There Is A Penis In Forgetting Sarah Marshall

It makes me nervous that all I am hearing about is a full frontal male nudity scene in the new Judd Apatow movie Forgetting sarah Marshall. I am a fan of most of the post-teen raunchterpieces that Apatow has made in the last couple of years, but it makes me think that this one may be kind of weak if the pre-release publicity blitz is based on the fact that Jason Segel shows his wang. Is this really the best reason they can come up with to get people to go to see the movie? Rickie Van Veen has given the movie the thumbs up, so if it is good enough for College Humor then it could possibly be good enough for me. I don find it kind of amusing that if a schlong is in a comedy movie it gets an R rating, but if it is in an arty movie, a drama, or an erotic thriller (the trashiest and often campiest of movies) the movie is NC-17. I guess the negative effect that unabashed male anatomy has on on the youth of the nation, all depends on the context it is exposed in. Makes sense huh. Defamer has a post chronicalling male nudity in honor of Segels risk as an actor. It was rumored that Segel spoke to Ewan McGregor and Harvey Kietel to get tips on perfecting the full monty. Well not really, but that would have been funny.

MTV Comes Clean About Why People Go On The Real World

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The millionth season of the Real World debuted last night. I know I am a little behind on this. MTV was upfront this year and actually told the viewers that everyone was on the show to become famous via acting, singing, or celebrity journalism. Don't worry you will all be fighting for a spot on the Challenge in three months time anyway. We have our usual cast of "Real" people. The bitch, the slut, the naive southern girl, the meat head, the goofy meat head, the nice guy, and the arrogant recluse. The season looks like your typical season of them getting drunk, fighting, and cheating on a significant other. Videogum and Buddy TV have good recaps. I do have to wonder whether these reality shows know they are dangerously teatering on reckless endagerment of their cast members. MTV has put a man with obvious anger issues in a house with a stripper who has a warrant out for her arrest because of aggravated assault. Sounds like good TV, plays out as bad idea. You did hear me correct, MTV has added a stripper to the cast. Not a girl who gets drunk and takes off her clothes, but an actual stripper. My favorite quote was when the stripper said that she can't understand how people judge a person based on their job. Stripping is only a job and you should not judge someone on that. Ummm, what possibly could you judge one on, if you can't judge them based on taking their clothes off for a living. I think that says a lot about a person, and it is a perfectly good reason to be judgemental. MTV looks like they have tried to save money by renting the Big Brother house between seasons. The house this season is seriously a studio. Also does anyone else think the brown haired chick looks like Julia Allison? I wouldn't be suprised if she showed up on a Real World, she'll pretty much take any job that entails getting on camera. The Whole episode is above if you want to watch.

I Don't Buy The Abortion Art Story For a Second

UPDATE: I WAS RIGHT- IT WAS FAKE


If you haven't read the Abortion Art news story yet, you can read it here, but don't bother because people are already reporting that it is a hoax. From the minute I read this story this morning, I thought there was something fishy about it. For starters, when a women gets pregnant her physiology changes, and hormones begin to boil that were dormant before ( Like my scientific explanation of pregnancy?). The fact that this girl thinks we would belief that she could continue to get pregnant over a nine month period and have no lasting psychological or physiological side effects is crazy. Further, how do you get your hands on 1) abortifacient drugs 2) Tools to properly artificially inseminate herself so easily over and over again. I also don't understand how this girl was so successful in getting herself pregnant. I mean, I thought artificial insemination was a difficult procedure that took a lab and attention to detail. If you can get yourself pregnant continuously over a ninth period with a turkey baster, then that's news to me. To me, the most glaring hole in this project, is the fact that she completely underestimates the effects pregnancy and miscarriage has on the mind and body of a women. Not that I know, but I assume that you wouldn't be able to isolate the experience, and remove yourself from it so that it could be turned into a piece of art work. Women who get pregnant, have a miscarriage, or have an abortion, do not take it lightly. It is an experience that sticks with then and haunts them, no matter how they outwordly express it. If Aliza Shvarts did do this, she would most likely emotionally and physically burn out after the first or second miscarraige. I just don't see an artist being this non-human. I could see it possibly being true, if the artist was an outside participant and took samples from women going through miscarriages, but I can't see the women having the miscarriage as the artist. It would be too personal of an experience to be so removed from, but who knows there are some crazy people in the art world. I remember a performance art that I went to once in College that had people vomitting milk everywhere. Whatever. These days if you can sound smart arguing that something is art, then people will believe it is.

P.S- If you wonder why I have been postin without pictures, it is because the blogger network is having some kind of problem uploading pictures.

ROOTS, CMU LAWN, TONIGHT, 8 PM

For those Pittsburghers interested, The Roots are performing at CMU tonight at 8P.M. It’s free and open to everyone. Just show up on the lawn. Bring everyone. There is not a cloud in the sky right now in Pittsburgh anf the temperature is about 70, so this looks to be a pretty good time. You have to watch out for the smelly Hippie-Hop heads that the Roots draw to their live shows. These are usually white Hippie kids that smoke alot of Pot and listen to Common, The Roots, Jedi Mind Ricks, MF Doom, and Murs. They should be wearing book bags with their arms crossed. They smell and act like they deserve to be there more than you. The Roots put on an incredible live show, although if you've seen them once you know what to expect. I have seen them a bunch of times and they kind of do the same thing at every show. The good news is that what they do is quit impressive, so seeing it over and over agian is worth it.


Concert Details-

FREE

OUTDOOR STAGE on CMU campus

I Wish This Was A Performance Art Hoax!!

I remember smoking pot and doing dumb stuff. Getting your dog and cat stoned tends to turn out as a disappointment. You always say look how stoned they are, but in reality you are just blazed so you think that your pet is acting different. I am all for bafoonery while you are cheifing, but smoking up your 2 and 5 year old brother is taking things way too far. Police in suburban Fort Worth, Texas, have found a videotape in a search for stolen goods that appears to show two teenagers persuading a 2-year-old boy and his 5-year-old brother to smoke marijuana. This is a story that I would have put money on taking place in Florida, but Texas gets the bizarro award today. Third-degree felony charges have been filed against the teenagers. The incident began unfolding February 22, when the Fort Worth Police Department executed a search warrant to look for stolen goods in the apartment of 17-year-old Demetris McCoy, the unemployed uncle of the two children, and 18-year-old Vanswan Polty. Among the items recovered was camera equipment. Upon looking at one of the tapes, investigators came across "a session where these two males were providing marijuana" to the youngsters. "They were essentially trying to get them high, laughing. The children are stumbling, falling around." It was not the first time the teens have done this because the children new how to hold a joint. Do we really need to give Bill O'rielly more reasons to have a show? I wish this was a hoax like the abortion art, but its not. It is just a sad example of why abortion should remain legal. Was that too much? I'm sorry this is just an insane story.

You Must Click Here

I am stealing one out of Perez Hilton's playbook just this one time...promise.

YOU MUST CLICK HERE

OK, sorry I won't do it again. It was just too good to pass up.