pop culture, pittsburgh, and potpouri

Monday, March 31, 2008

What ever happened to the blanket term "Alternative"

When I was in middle school there were only a couple of terms for kids who were "different". There were skaters, punks, and kids who listened to alternative music. Collectively, they were all lumped into one group. I guess you could say alternative. Grunge was big during this period, so "Alternative" mostly meant grunge. Boy, things have changed. Now you have punks, emos, scenesters, hipsters, hippies, and many more. The collective enemy of kids that were different in middle school were the jocks and popular kids. Today infighting has begun between the alternative subcategories. In Mexico, Punks are attacking Emo kids, and in Australia Scensters are fighting with Emo kids. Apparently, it's gotten so bad that Mexico is starting a marketing campaign to prevent attacks in Tijuana. The video above is highlighting the problem. (Its in Spanish so figure it out yourself) Those Emo kids just have to stop whining- they are getting on everyones nerves. This begs the question: How are these groups actually defined? How can you tell the difference between an Emo and a Scenester? Well that's what wikipedia is for. According to wikipedia, this is how to become a scenester. This is not a joke:

1. Become active on Myspace, Stickam, Buzznet and other social networking sites. Post a ton of pictures of yourself and the shows you've been to. These should all be at strange angles [usually from above and a little to the side].

2. Get Scene Hair. Scene hair is usually black or bleached blonde and sometimes has random neon streaks such as pink or green in it, but this is not a must. It's usually very big and puffy at the top, the size of this depending on the length of your layers.

3. Wear eyeliner. Black eyeliner is a must for all scene kids, especially the girls. I would suggest to start out with the pencil eyeliner, as it is easier to apply and doesn't get as messy if you make a mistake. Once you get better at applying this, you can gradually start using liquid liner.

4. Wear skinny jeans or straight leg jeans. While the tighter the better, find a decent fit for you, because no one will talk to you if you look like a fashion victim.

5. Stock up on band shirts and graphic shirts. If you've done your music research, load up on classic band t-shirts (i.e. Enter Shikari). Get the tightest fitting t-shirt, within reason. Scene kids should listen to "Conway Twitty", "Jimmy Buffet", "Harry Chapin" and "Brook Benton".

6. Get classic shoes. Start with Vans Classics, or some Converse, then branch out to any style of Vans you want.

7. Accessorize. If you're a girl, invest in necklaces that have spiders, broken hearts, owls, Hellokitty, keys, cobwebs, skulls, and the like. If you're a guy, keep your keys dangling on the side with a carabiner attached to a belt loop.

8. Take up the scene writing style. Add extra letters to many of your words. For example: "rawwr" "kiiid" "kayyy" "baaby". Spelling your name in odd ways is popular as well, as is giving yourself a second name in addition to your first. Use scene lingo like "rad", "Ace", and "stellar."

9. Go to shows. Shows are important, and all scene kids know everything about their music. If you know some local bands, be their friends, and brag about it. Girls should mosh at shows. People hate scene girls that don't mosh

This is more like how to become a douchebag. I must have no idea how things are because that is not even close to what I thought a scenester was. Maybe all of these groups can just fight among each other and annihilate themselves from existence. If you need to be taught how to be yourself, I think there may be a problem. It must be hard to be young and feel like you don't fit in. At least you have a bunch of choices on which subculture you want to be a part of. You even have wikipedia there to teach you how to fit in once you made your choice. What if you tried to be a hipster, emo kid, scenester, punk, and hippie all at once. You probably would end up looking like a retarded clown or this guy.

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