pop culture, pittsburgh, and potpouri

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Real Worst People of Orange County

The reunion show was on last night for the Real Skank Ho Shallow Whore Cunts of Orange County. Its pretty bad that Tamra basically calls Gretchen out and reveals to the world that Gretchen had a boyfriend that helped her run a con on a rich old man dying of cancer (something right out of sleazy movie), and I still think that she is the worst of the bunch and a completely horrible person. I believe everything that Tamra said, but while she was saying it she grew uglier and uglier to me. Her vileness and complete spite manifests itself with Tamra's spewing of hate, jealousy, and negativity. Tamra defines the word cunt and gives women a horrible name. She is everything that is wrong with the world. To be so mean with Vicky and then turn around and accuse others of hurting their feelings made me change the channel. Yes, change the channel. After seeing footage of Vicky and Tamra say "lets get Gretchen naked and drunk, " then deny that there was a premeditated plan made me think there is no reason to watch this garbage and give these people a reason to continue in their horrible life.

The level of hatred and mean spiritless goes beyond ghetto crime and Islamic terrorism. I truly believe that these "women" of Orange County are worse for the world than any crime or dictatorship. I hate you women. You are fake, plastic, worthless, terrible human beings that are more disgusting than the stuff that ends up underneath the seat of my toilet after diarrhea. Lynn your OK, Gretchen even know you are a tramp who dated a man for his money while in a relationship, your are sort of OK, and Jeanna, even know you would let your kids and husband run over you in a bus, you are OK. Vicky (Getting hit in the head with the football is all you deserve forever in life) and Tamara you are going to hell, and the worst part is you don't even know it. You think your life and person is no worse than anyone else, and even more shocking you think its better. Fuck you, I hope you rot from some horrible disease and get whats coming to you. There, I feel so much better. This is what happens when I am forced to watch this garbage. These women can dress in expensive clothes and jewelry, but they are no where near as classy or elegant as DJ Lady Tribe or filthiest piece of skank cum bucket on the F list VH1 shows.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


This video is bizarre on a level only the Internet could understand. I will briefly point out why it is awesome:

* The guys look funny- now I know that is shallow, but come on lets be honest. They are deformed and when they dance it looks funny
* The dancing is awesome. The pelvic thrusts, body vibrations, the spins, the jumps, the "I am so into it" look on their faces.
* They are actually kind of talented. The more you watch it, the more you realize that they are actually kind of talented and if they were not trapped in the bodies they have they could actually dance really well.
* WTF- what they hell is going on. The Where, Who, and WHY abstraction of this surrealist mess leaves you wanting more
* Its foreign. Anything that is foreign is always awesome. The cultural mistranslation always gives you something that is worth wasting time on.
* The normal, if not abnormally long arms on the one guy are kind of mesmerizing...

* Lastly, did I mention they are deformed and dancing funny?

AND ONE MORE FOR ALL YOU HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Joaquin Phoinex is Stupid....

So Joaquin Phoenix has been running around telling people he is retiring from acting and becoming a rapper. After nearly winning an Oscar, Phoenix has grown a beard and stopped bathing attempting to let the world know that he is over all of "it" while at the same time get publicity and attention. So, most people with a mind have called shenanigans on Phoenix saying this is all some sort of publicity stunt/performance art/ Kaufmanesque joke. Whatever it is, it is a major FAIL. The irony is lost, he is not funny, and his rapping sucks. He just looks like an elitist Hollywood actor trying to make everyone seems they are not good enough for the joke....if there is one.

Phoenix was on Letterman last night and made this whole thing even more complicated. I questioned whether this is a joke. Maybe he really has gone insane. Whatever is going on Letterman did what he does best; make celebrities look stupid. I am not a Letterman fan, but I do love when he has on stupid celebrities and completely calls them on their shit in his own way. Paris Hilton, LC, Madonna, Dave is great at embarrassing people that deserve it, and last night was no different. Watch and let me know what you think.

I Love the Internet....

Only on the Internet will you find a site devoted to food that is ridiculously unhealthy. Leave it to college level stoners to come up with the most gluttonous grease driven masterpieces of This is Why You are Fat.com. When people say pot is bad I urge them to check out the website. Sure pot is bad if you are going to eat a pizza with corndogs on it or a deep fried mars bar, for the most part pot is responsible for some of the best entertainment and senses of humor I have ever come in contact with. t is sometimes difficult to explain what smoking pot is like to someone who has not experience, but this website pretty much perfectly summarizes pot on every level. It covers the buffoonery, the munchies, and the mind expanding. This is why you are fat is such an incredible website because not only does it crack you up, but it also just generally makes you happy. Go check out the website, then push yourself creatively to come up with something worthy of being featured on the website. And believe me, the website is not just for stoners, the sad part is that I would probably each anything on that website stoned or not. 

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

STUMPS!!! The Senior Citizen Dog Takes Westminster!!!

Damn, Stumps the Sussex Spaniel won best at show at the Westminster dog show today proving that age don't mean shit!!! Stumps beat down those bitches after over coming a premature retirement, disease, ailments, and a general consensus that his career was over. Man call this dog Mickey Rouke because he just pulled a page out off The Wrestler and revitalized his career. In a world where youth means everything and your career can be over by 5 years old Stumps triumphed when others would have faltered. Stumps slowing made it around the ring slobbering the whole way letting his old age show. As the other dogs zipped around the show floor, Stumps slowly lumbered last in line breathing like he just finished an all you can eat Beneful buffet. It didn't matter because Stumps pulled it out proving that Micket Rouke isn't the only washed up celebrity that has one more championship in the ring!!!!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Most. Cute. Animal. Picture. Ever..... of the week.

This is a picture of Koala Bear that got too hot from the heat wave that is taking over Australia. Someone saw the Koala come up onto their back porch looking under the weather and over heated, so they put a bucket of cold water outside. After sipping the water, the marsupial did what any living thing on this level of adorableness would do. He got into the bucket and took a cold bath. PRICELESS. I think I just discovered I have a heart. If there was a video of this it would totally beat out Christian Bale and "high 5 year old" as viral video of the week. Dare I say that he may have Stains beat!!! Wait, wait, I may be taking this too far...

Here are two more... Thanks Bro!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


So this blog is suppose to be a pop culture Pittsburgh blog with an attempt at sarcasm and disdain, but I think that I may change the theme to a anti-Chet blog. I think I have so much resentment and anger toward this Mormon member of the Real World Brooklyn cast that I could devote post after post and hours of content toward tearing to shreds this hypocritical, evil, vile waste of human life. 

Chet's judgmental -conceited- arrogant- ignorant -egotistical attitude could provide an outlet and the means of a channel for the collective anxiety that this country feels right now. I know that it is for me. After judging and commanding each and every cast member to live their life and make personal decisions "his" way, Chet makes me hate him even more with his stupid hipster sense of style and his desire to be a host of TRL (which is canceled btw. What does this say?). I can't even look at his barely there eyebrows and stupid glasses without getting a fire in the pit of my stomach. Tonight's episode just reinforced everything I said, and as proof I offer you one thing..... Chets hat with these four letters written in capital purple letters: C-H-E-T.  You stupid stupid person. You suck on levels unimaginable. Please everyone read Under the Banner of Heaven. Then apply what you have read to Chet. Then watch his behavior on the Real World. Then think of the way he instigates crazy Ryan. Then think of that god awful hat. I. Rest. My. Case.

Sunday, February 1, 2009


Can't live for tomorrow, tomorrows much too long. The Pittsburgh Steelers have won their sixth Superbowl title tonight beating the Arizona Cardinals in one of the best heart stopping games in NFL history. Santonio Holmes was named MVP after catching the winning touchdown pass in the last 40 seconds with his toes touching the back corner of the end zone. 

It was everything you could ask for as a Pittsburgh life long resident. It was full of incredible plays, ups, downs, and excitement. It may have been the greatest Superbowl ever. The Steelers now have more Superbowl wins than any other franchise, and may be the best NFL franchise ever. You cannot blog about what it feels like to be in Pittsburgh right now.

I watched the game in the city, and after the game the streets flooded with crazy Yinzers creating a river of Black and Gold celebration. People were cheering and chanting along with the police sirens, waiving terrible towels, hugging strangers, and slapping high sixes.

On the way home every neighborhood you drove through (and there are alot in Pittsburgh) had people honking their horns and people on streets corners sharing the collective PIttsburgh pride. Like I have said before only a Pittsburgher understands what the Steelers are and what they mean to the city. It is tradition, unity, heritage, and the air we breath. It is bread into the genes of every person who spends any time here. You could go anywhere in the world and find anther person from PIttsburgh, and know that you have a special bond to them because of the Steelers. There is no other professional sports team that can create a bond like that.

Just like the Obama win, there is a picture slide show (I saw it on KDKA after the game) out there I am trying to find of people all over the world celebrating the Pittsburgh win. India, Africa, Japan, and France all have people waiving terrible towels. If you don't get it now you never will. Thanks Steelers, you make us proud and our city worth living in!!!!! You will give our city the most press we have had in three (since the last win in 2006) over the next week. See you at the parade.