Penguins Pull One Out!!!

The Penguins remembered that they have an offense tonight, and a good one at that. The Penguins got back on their game and managed to hold the Red Wings off by winning game three of the Stanley Cup Finals. Crosby had two goals showing exactly why the Penguins won this game and lost the last two. Games one and two basically eliminated any game that our Center's have. Malkin and Crosby were pretty much prevented from playing hockey the first two games. Tonight the team managed to get them some puck time and look what happened. Malkin has been pretty tame this series (some say he misses his parents who have not been present at the games in a while ahhhhhh), but Crosby has show why he is one of the best Centers in the game. It was also nice to see the team back off that crappy "dump and chase" strategy that they were using in the first two games. The Red Wings were so effective on defense that the Pens couldn't even bring the puck into the Wings zone, so they were just dumping the puck into the Wings zone then racing them to the end of the ring. This may have worked against other teams, but Detroit is just as fast as the Pens so it obviously failed miserably. The Pens showed nice speed in the neutral zone and were able to attack the relentless onslaught of the Detroit defenseman. I had a feeling that they were going to pull off a win at home. They are incredible on the bizarre home ice (especially Crosby), and within the first period it was obvious that the Pens had brought their A game, and were back to their playoff level of Hockey. Lets hope they can keep it up and tie up the series before going back to Detroit. I don't like the couple days off because it could hurt the momentum of winning, but whatever. Hey, Lets Go Pens!!! I still think the Cup is coming to the Burgh. Regardless, this has been great for the city. Its nice to see a giant ESPN blow up sign in downtown Pittsburgh and the carnival like atmosphere as I drive past the Igloo on my way home from work.

Top Chef Has Driven Me Back To The Blog!!!

I have been studying for the Pennsylvania Bar Exam so I have been neglecting updating this blog, but I saw something tonight that was so revolting and shocking to my conscience that I could not help but jump on the computer to air my grievances. That slovenly waste of good reality television Lisa has made it to the Top Chef finale. Not only should she have been eliminated weeks ago, but now the finale will be ruined by the nausea that is going to be induced by watching Lisa's double chin cook her signature meal. To make matters even worse it looks like she has cut her hair short and completed her transformation into a bull dyke (and into Richard along the way) for the finale. Lisa sucks beyond belief. She is a horrendous chef, person, and television character. After continuously being in the bottom, only to make it to another week by capitalizing on the accidents of superior chefs, Lisa has waddled her way to Puerto Rico ready to complain and accuse others of sabotage. She fucked up cooking rice for the love of god!! Not once, but twice!! Spike decided to use frozen scallops giving Lisa her opportunity to make a mess and call it fine dining. She made peanut butter mash potatoes that I can give her credit for, but I am almost certain that this was stolen from some chef that Lisa dragged down in life at some point. I am not a Spike fan or anything, but anyone would have been better. This is a sad sad day. Man, I still can't believe that I am going to have to tolerate that mess during the finale. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Pittsburgh is Stupid....

For all you people who are from Pittsburgh, but live somewhere else, let me assure you that your decision is the right one. The Pittsburgh Penguins want to put giant banners on some of the cities skyscrapers to pump up the city for the Stanley Cup Finals. Pittsburgh has one of the most beautiful sky lines with some of the best architecture in the country. Other cities often hang banners, advertisements, and other build boards from their downtown buildings to entertain the city or celebrate an important event. During the Winter Olympics Salt Lake City put different banners and stencils on skyscrapers spanning the full length of the buildings of athletes and Olympic imagery. During the NBA all star game Las Vegas even put a giant jersey on the Statute of Liberty at the New York New York Casino. This helps the city's image and gets the people who live there excited about the attention that the sporting events are giving their town. 

Well Pittsburgh isn't like other cities and does everything opposite of what other places would. The Penguins wanted to hang banners of the team and Sydney Crosby on the Fifth Avenue Place building and other skyscrapers, but the geniuses over on City Council decided to put a moratorium on build boards in the city to get back at the Mayor for commissioning a new electronic build board on the Greyhound station without first consulting the City Council. They will not even make an exception for Stanley Cup advertisements. So as the world focuses on Pittsburgh there will be no new signs to highlight our beautiful city. And to make matters worse the UPMC letters that have been added to the Steel building are not completed and only UP_C are up. So when the cameras pan over the city they will see a half completed sign to get people interested in the city. Awesome. (actually I think the UPMC sign is being finished - I am taking artistic liberty is characterising it the way I did). everyone is pointing fingers at each other. City Council is blaming the mayor and the Penguins, the Mayor is blaming City Council and the Penguins, and the Penguins are blaming City Council and the Mayor. I guess City Council and the Mayor have decided to bend the city over and do anything it can to prevent it from becoming a better place to live. All I can say is thanks Doug Shields and all. You really know how to take advantage of a great situation. You may as well flood the streets with shit during the playoffs. Round up all the homeless people and put them in front of the Civic Arena. Anything to make to city look bad. Why can't Pittsburgh just work... you know work like other cities do. It is frustrating as all hell.

Screw the Dark Knight, Pineapple Express is the Movie of the Summer!

I can't wait for Pineapple Express to come out this summer. There are a lot of good movies coming out like Dark Knight, The Happening, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, X-Files, Hancock, and the Hulk, but none of them come close to the inevitable stoner classic Pineapple Express. Judd Apatow and David Gordon Green team up to make a movie about stoners being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Simple yet ingenious. I am sure we will be left with enough one liners for a life time of undergraduate blazing sessions. Seth Rogan and James Franco play pot heads who witness the murder of a crooked cop on their way to pick up a super strain of bud called "Pineapple Express." The trailer is pretty funny and makes good use of "Paper Planes." I called it, that song will make a summer 2008 resurgence and be even more popular than last year. If you love Superbad and love the comic buffoonery of hallucinogenics in everyday situations, then Pineapple Express is for you ...and me.  

That Was Exhausting!!!

David Cook has won American Idol by 12 million votes. There was a staggering 97 million votes cast in this seasons finale. Let me tell you, this finale was a mess!! The second hour somewhat made up for the first hour, but it still did not even approach the levels of years past finale's. The dance number seriously look like they were choreographed by Corky St. Clair. Actually, Amanda Overmyer would have been able to sing and dance at the same time if Corky St. Clair choreographed the finale. If I never see an arm swing and I side step again in my life I will be a happy man. 

The Producers went the "That's Familiar," route for old people the first hour by raiding the county fair circuit booking ZZ Top, Donna Summer (who looked as if she was going to cut off Ryan's nuts for taking the attention away from her performance by looking stupid by break-dancing), and Graham Nash. I think Seal was in there somewhere too, which surprised no one. What would a finale of a live entertainment show be without Seal to sing "nice" songs. The first hour also had its fare share of shameless product placement and promotion. Ford squeezed every last bit of cheap endorsement out of the two finalists before the Davids go stale (beginning.....now). Mike Meyers also got a good 7 minutes of screen time for his new movie The Guru. You can't help but be impressed with the way that the Idol machine works. 

Hour two had more arm swings and side steps by the top twelve, giving everyone a sneak peak on the best way to waste your money this summer. They best they could do it the pop department was One Republic which the loser David sung with. They really failed to get the big names this year. Hour two also had Bryan Adams, George Michaels (who probably put the old people to sleep who made it through hour one), and Carrie Underwood. They had to remind everyone who last years winner was so they let Jordan Sparks sing a song. There was some more promotion, some more arms swings, and couple steps, some Tropic Thunder, and finally the results, which by all means were a surprise. Another year another season of Idol over. Now I can watch So You Think You Can Dance and begin rooting for another person that I will forget in six months.

MTV is Going to Kill Someone!

This is what I thought watching that Tila Tequila show last night. One of the dudes, after being pumped up by another dude, basically inflicted grievous bodily injury on yet another dude. For What reason? I couldn't tell you even after MTV shamelessly repeated the episode into the ground for  the last week. All I do know is that it was not in self defense. Hell it was not even provoked. If I was a lawyer in California I would take personal injury cases for these kids on them there reality shows. I know that MTV makes them sign releases and would basically argue that this is an assumption of the risk, but at some point these releases are not going to be upheld in a court for public policy reasons. I would love to see one of these contracts that people sign on MTV. Lets just assume that they are not arms length negotiations. 

My argument is that the contracts are unconscionable. There is unequal bargaining power between the network and the participants. MTV can't create an unreasonably dangerous situation by purposefully and intentionally choosing people that are violent and dangerous to bring on the show, and then have everyone sign a release. MTV knows that these people are often trying to become actors and are desperate to advance their careers. They prey on this vulnerability, and put viewership in front of safety. A release must fully inform a person of all risk. This means that the person must have actually been aware of what they were in for, or at least that a reasonable person in the same position would have been aware. A release also does not normally include gross negligence or willful and wanton negligence. As far as I am concerned, MTV does back round checks on all of these people and know exactly what they are capable of before they are cast. I know that the people who go on these shows watch them, so they are fully aware of the kinds of things that happen, but they are never told before hand the exact risk that other contestants bring to the show. I am sure the release does not go into any detail of what kind of people are cast or what challenges they will be forced into. Putting people with anger problems and violent tendencies in a house with similar people, and then adding a never ending supply of alcohol, coupled with a competition for the love of a person they are obsessed with, may approach gross negligence in my book. The dude who fucked shit up would have undoubtedly been arrested for aggravated assault in the "real world" (no not the show....hahaha. shut up). Why should MTV and other TV networks get away with being partly at fault. I know that it would be an up hill argument, but I think that I could win a case or at least force a settlement. 

Now let it be known that the proceeding diatribe was not at all based on feeling bad for these people. No No. My mind was 100% focused on the amount of money that I cold make bringing these lawsuits. Personally I think that if you are dumb enough to go on these shows and sign the release then you deserve a split chin. The law does not agree with me though, and as a lawyer you have to do your job. Especially when you can make a lot of money doing it. This show alone has seen at least five physical fights, and numerous ambulance visits. Imagine the rest of trash TV and the injuries that people sustain while participating. If you could get one release inadmissable it would make you millions. Millions I tell you!!

She's Not Going Away, Is She?

Hillary Clinton beat Obama by nearly 250,000 votes today in Kentucky. This Democratic primary is a major cluster fuck! Obama will not win the general primary. I voted for him because I like him, and his platform of change feels so necessary right now. Race never entered my mind. But Hillary Clinton is now ruining the easiest presidential win for a Democratic candidate in 50 years. Clinton has exposed the weakness that Obama has with working class voters, and it is basically all McCain from here on out. Thanks Hillary. Cities cannot win a general election for you and Obama can't win middle America. The issue of race and other Obama weaknesses with working class people would not be as obvious if Hillary would have dropped out of the race before West Virginia. By needlessly staying in the race she is now basically flattening the tires on the Obama bus. At this point the Democratic party almost needs to make Hillary the nomination just to win in November. It really is dirty politics. Shady if you ask me. It almost appears spiteful. Clinton knew what she was doing and has disguised "race" as "working class" issues. This is just a giant mess. How is Obama going to get a united Democratic vote when in a closed primary Hillary Clinton beats Obama  65% - 35% and 66%-23%. Obama won't even get all the Democratic votes in swing states let alone the swing voters. No president has won the White House without West Virginia or something like that. The Democrats don't deserve to win with such stupidity. McCain is going to win the election, mark my words, unless Clinton is the nominee and that sucks!! 

BTY- Obama won pretty big in Oregon, but that doesn't make much of a difference in this discussion.

Is This a Joke?

Fergie performed on the Today Show this morning and completely butchered Heart's classic "Baracuda." At one point you can even see an audience member laughing at her. She did these weird one handed cartwheels around the stage, and forever etched this mess of a performance into my mind by crawling around the front of the stage in some sort of attempt at being sexy right in front of a mother and her 4 pre-teen children. You can tell there were a bunch of girls there to hear Fergilicious or Glamorous. The look on their faces says "I can't believe I got out of bed early to watch this crap." You can tell Fergie success is going to her head. She sold a couple million records and now thinks she can make indulgent choices in what songs to preform. Lets get this straight Fergie. Sing the song people want to hear. They are not concerned with your artistic expression. If you can't do it, I am sure there is some other tight assed former meth addict out there that will. Here is the video. Jump towards the end to see the cartwheels and inappropriate stage grinding.

Living La Vida Loca, Lohan Style!

I think this show will be an age defining reality TV show. Not only will we fully understand how a promising young star has come to career maturity by selling her own line of leggings, but we will also get to see it happening to her sister. We all know that Dina Lohan is the devil come to life as a stage mother, but this videotaped field trip into her brain can only further clarify how much this family is beyond repair. The show has not even debuted yet and Dina Lohan is already embarrassing herself with ridiculous statements. Here are my favorite pre-release Dina Lohanisms thus far.

3) I don't want Lindsey on my show because I feel like it would be a step back in her career.

2) I have no choice, but manage my kids. Allie wants to be famous and I can't tell her no. I have to protect my cubs.

1) These paparrazzi and tabloid magazines are out of control. There must be boundries set with my family's personal life.

Now those are not direct quotes, but they are pretty close. For starters Lindsey Lohan's career is in a perfect place for a reality TV show. Second, you are choosing to make your kids famous. No one believes for a second that this is their choice and you are only trying to "protect your cubs." Lastly, boundaries? You signed up for a reality TV show. Camera's are following you around. You really think you have a right to whine about boundaries with the media? This show will be the most entertaining train wreck since Groomer Has It. The world will be intimately aware of the parasitic relationship between fame-mongers and tabloid magazines. Dina Lohan can pretty much forget about ever expecting an ounce of sympathy from anyone when she complains about the media and what they write about her family. You can't give the paparazzi your address and then complain when they show up. If anything can make Michael Lohan look sane, it will be this TV show.

Moon Man Found Naked in the Woods.

An airline pilot was found hiding behind a shed wearing only flip-flops and a wristwatch as a nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant ended with both under arrest. Jeffrey Paul Bradford, 24, of Moon, and Adrianna Grace Connor, 24, both employees of Pinnacle Airlines Inc., were at a diner on the outskirts of Harrisburg on Sunday night before they apparently decided to walk into the woods, police said. "They told the officer they wanted to go do it in the woods, essentially," said Lower Swatara Township Police Sgt. Richard Brandt. "That's the best answer they had. "The two somehow became separated, and people who live in the neighborhood summoned police around 9:30 p.m., saying they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman. A helicopter with heat-seeking equipment was called in, and Mr. Bradford was discovered hiding behind a shed shortly before midnight. There is nothing like an attempt at some kinky sex going horribly horribly wrong. The best part is that Bradford was scheduled to fly at 7:30 the next morning. Story's like this are always good for a laugh. The only thing that could have made this better is if one of them was a celebrity. Well they are now. I am sure we will see one of these two on some talk show or news network. In this day and age they may even be able to get a reality TV show from this calamity.

Jude Law Has To Be Coked Out of His Mind!!!

The Sun has these pictures of Jude Law and Kimberly Stewart eating each other at some club in Essex. Jude Law has to be an 8 ball deep in this picture to kiss Kimberly Stewart. I bet he doesn't even know who she is. She was the only girl in the club with a false sense of entitlement, and who is slutty enough to walk up to a staggering shit faced Jude Law and start making out. It could have been anyone Kimberly Stewart saw her opportunity and jumped on it. This girl is a slut professional she would never miss an opportunity like that. She knows her "career" depends on it. Jude Law probably woke up the next morning, saw these pictures, and proceed to cower in the corner of his shower scrubbing himself till he nearly bleeds (with the crying game theme playing in the back round). Although, Jude Law is pretty scummy himself, so he could have been all happy about another notch in the bed post... with Kimberly Stewart none the less. The best part of this story is that they were at some really crappy club, where reality TV stars hang out. Well, in Pittsburgh that is like every club, but I guess it would be like Chauncey's. Remember that dump? The sources said they were hoping to see Jodie Marsh, but instead saw these two. That's funny because that is exactly the type of place I would expect to see Stewart. I hate to break it to you, but these two aren't much better than Jodie Marsh. If you are basing celebrity on sexual promiscuity, Jude Law and Kimberly Stewart may have Jodie, I had an orgy in a barn when I was 12, Marsh beat. I just don't see what people see in Kimbo Stewart. Well they probably see the bottom of a Pint glass, because I am sure that is the last thing you remember before making out with her. Maybe its because I am not turned on by elf like young boys. Further, the fact that she was one of those girls who fought with each other over the scraps of media attention that bounced off Paris Hilton, makes her even more ugly.

Ted Kennedy's Head Unusually Large Due to Malignant Brain Tumor.

I know that the above statement was a bad joke, but in all seriousness this may the end to one of the great Democratic leaders in this country. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) has been in the hospital since Saturday due to repeated seizures. The AP is reporting that doctors have confirmed that Kennedy is suffering from a malignant brain tumor that is putting pressure on his brain. He was up and walking around over the weekend even discussing his condition with doctors. Doctors have said that radiation and chemotherapy will be the treatment but they have not ruled out anything. Kennedy has been a Senator since 1962. His life has been somewhat of a Greek tragedy being part of the cursed Kennedy's, but that has not stopped him from fighting for working class people by pushing bills aimed at reforming health care and education through the senate. The American political landscape would not be the same without Ted Kennedy. Lets all hope he is able to fight this, make a full recovery, and not be the first Kennedy to die of natural causes. That didn't sound right did it?

Penguins are Playing The Detroit Red Wings in the Stanley Cup Finals.

After having a scare with the Dallas Stars making a two game come back, the Detroit Red Wings finished off the Stars and secured their place in the Stanley Cup finals with a 4-1 victory early today. Detroit will try to win their fourth championship in 11 years. The first two games will be at Joe Louis Arena. The series opens Saturday, with the schedule following a Saturday-Monday-Wednesday pattern. Detroit will be the home team because it had more regular-season points — most in the league, in fact. The Red Wings are the first recipient of the Presidents' Trophy to play for the Cup since they did so in 2002. That also was the last time they were in the finals. The Red Wings and Penguins did not meet this season. They did the two previous years and Detroit won both. This will be the first Detroit-Pittsburgh finals, and it will also be the first all-American finals since 2003, when New Jersey faced Anaheim. This final will also be a battle of the washed up shadow of their great self cities. Burnt out Detroit and Pittsburgh left their economic success in the 70's. Pittsburgh and Detroit will both be desperate to bring the cup home to their respective cities. It could be the only chance to see people in downtown past six o'clock who aren't there to commit some sort of crime. Remember, only I am allowed to be hard on Pittsburgh because I live here. Such words on another website are a cause for gang warfare. Oh, and by the way the civil trial for that 1997 limo crash that killed two Red Wings defensemen celebrating Detroit's Stanley Cup victory proceeded today with the testimony of the limo driver. You can read about it here.

Has Everyone Seen This? If Yes Watch It Again.

Most people love Oprah's favorite things for the products that she highlights, but any self respecting blog reader knows the real reason why Oprah's Favorite Things is the best episode of the season. Need I say more than audience reaction! I am sure everyone has seen this, seeing that I hijacked the video from Best Week Ever, but watch it anyway because each viewing allows for the noticing of a new hyperventilating middle aged women seconds away from her first and only orgasm in life. These reactions are also important because they provide the Soup with endless editing material. ( BTW did everyone see the Soup where they flipped the insane Tom Cruise fan's reaction to make it seem like she was actually panicking and resisting a chance to meet Tom Cruise again. Needless to say it was funny). I was surprised to hear about a law suit involving personal injuries that one Oprah audience member filed against the show. She claimed that she was trampled by an audience stampede resulting from a frenzied riot to get the best seats in the studio. Now I can fully comprehend how a dangerous situation is created at an Oprah show taping. Those middle age women don't fool around. Nothing gets in between them and Oprah. Nothing. The Soup clip is below. Fast forward to 5:30, and pay close attention the woman's arms. 

Yes This is Worthy of a Post

A Drag Queen robbed a burger king in New Orleans. The shim climbed through the drive thru window, held the employees at gunpoint, then existed through the same drive thru windon. That's awesome, and what makes it even better is that the tranny was driving a pick up truck! I've seen this story on Fox News and a couple of other blogs. I love that a run of the mill robbery makes national news because a drag queen is the perpetrator. A Safety Specialist for WDSU was quoted as saying, "the thief is probably a genuine cross-dresser because his necklace matched the dress, his nails appeared to be painted and the wig was well made." Right, so the drag queen was a genuine cross dresser opposed to one of those fake drag queens. At least the investigation is going well. Roberston added, "Most of the time when somebody puts on a wig they're just trying to hide their identity by putting on something like a Halloween Mask, but he's pretty." This was not a robbery. It was merely a queen trying to track down that player Burger King. She was trying to sneak in through the drive thru to catch his ass. You know the King has got like 10 kids to 5 different women. These women want paid. Get that money!!

Is There Anything That Can't Be Filmed and Turned Into a Reality Show?

That was not a joke. Animal Planet has followed in the footsteps of Bravo! and decided to tape artistic professionals competing in their craft. In this case the craft is...pet grooming. Yes, Animal Planet's ,"Groomer Has It" chronicles the ups, downs, and daily struggles of people trying to make it in the cut throat world of animal beauty. The sad part about this is that I actually sat through an hour of this in disbelief. This is the only social setting were it would be appropriate to degrade the professional credentials of your colleagues by calling them a "glorified bather".  There is nothing like seeing people fight for an opportunity to live out their dream. The dramatic waves of Groomer Has It are only eclipsed by Flavor of Love and Viva La Hollywood. I thought that they were going to have to call in security when one contestant accidentally cut of the whiskers off a cat in one of the challenges. They actually found the top Himalayan Groomer to be a judge. Can you believe this shit. First a reality TV about Mearkats, then an Orangutan Island, now Pet Groomers? I don't even want to know where we are going next. The shows host has to be telling himself over and over again "you got to start somewhere. Work your way up. Before you know it you will be hosting the Bachelor." Apparently there is so much happening on this show that Animal Planet had to add the "Groomer Mill" to their website so that no one would miss out on the latest in the competition. You can't fault them from trying can you. At least they will have the Soup people watching.

Lance Armstrong Kate Hudson Blah Blah Blah...

Apparently Kate Hudson is now dating Lance Armstrong. I am filing this under short lived celebrity couple because I have no doubt that one of these two people will be linked with some one else by weeks end. I think that every time I hear Kate Hudson's or Lance Armstrong's name it is because they are being linked to a new person. I don't care about these people and you shouldn't either. These two and the rest of famous people on the same level are so lame. They are just like one giant celebrity to me. You can interchange their names and have the same headlines and stories. The group basically consists of Kate Hudson, Owen Wilson, Mathew McCcConaughey, Dax Sheppard, Lance Armstrong, Jake Gylenhall, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, and Katherine Hegal. You know the type. They are all the same people to me. You hear about them in the same context every time with different names. They should just create one giant celebrity that is all of these people, and it would save us a lot of time. They are all people that you would date one time or another if you were 37 and single in Hollywood. Instead of "Young Hollywood", they are "Boring Hollywood". They never do anything that interesting and are always in the "They are just like us" section of tabloids. Whatever, all I know is that if you put everyone in a room that Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have dated it would cover every celebrity name that Us Weekly prints in their magazine in a week. Yes even Mary Kate Olsen. 

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Marry Moving Jessica Simpson One Step Closer to Jennifer Aniston Levels of Desperation.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had their Gremlins themed shot gun wedding over the weekend. To no ones surprise Poppa Joe performed the non-denominational ceremony. Why does this family get press? The puppet master Joe Simpson has manipulated his daughters careers into fame based on what is going on in their personal lives. Ashlee puts out crappy pop rock, and Jessica used to be a pop singer, but most of the media focus on them recently has been from their personal lives. Ashlee getting married and being pregnant (she confirmed the pregnancy to everyone at the ceremony) along with Jessica getting dumped has brought fame to the family in the last couple months. Impressive huh? Poor Jessica gets dumped, her ex husband is constantly vacationing with his hot new girlfriend, and her music/ movie career is basically a joke. She is turning into a more desperate version of Jennifer Aniston. Hey maybe Tony Roma will jump to the Aniston following in the foot steps of John Mayer. Father Joe better start thinking of news ways to get some attention for the family because they have used up most of the tabloid favorites. Sure Ashlee will be able to sell the baby pictures, but other than divorce his play book is looking thin. Maybe send Jessica in for some more Restalin. That is always good for a couple name drops in the rags. 

Don't Touch The Trophy Crosby!!!!

The Penguins are going to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1992. It is the 16th time that a professional sports team from Pittsburgh has made it to a Championship game.  Wud up 412!!! The Pens became the Eastern Conference Champions and possessor of the Prince of Whales Trophy by defeating the Flyers 6 nothing. Yes 6-0. The Pens lost game four against the Flyers just like they did against the Rangers, but bounced back on home ice embarrassing Philadelphia. The Pens are undefeated in the play offs at Mellon Arena demolishing their opponents on the soft ice. Most fitting about this win was Pittsburgh's own Ryan Malone scoring two goals leading the team's stomping of Philly. Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Sydney Crosby, and Pascal Dupuis also scored for the Penguins making this game a basic pro Penguins promotional highlight reel. They should show this game to the winner of Dallas and Detroit just to let them know what they will be getting into at the Stanley Cup Finals. The Pens have an underrated defense, and incredible goalie, arguably the MVP, and Sydney Crosby. They also know have Keven Veilleux, which they signed yesterday. Well what do you know? They will not lose. The Stanley Cup is coming back to Pittsburgh. Thank you Crobsy for not making contact with that Prince of Whales Trophy because the Stanley Cup is what we want. Its been sixteen years and Pittsburgh is gonna be ready for a fight. The City, the fans, and the team are all ready to give Pittsburgh another professional sports team Championship. Its a new day in Pittsburgh with a new Dynasty forming. (Am I getting ahead of myself? Well I wouldn't be a Pittsburgh sports fan if I didn't ). Here are highlights.

At Some Point "Fusion Man" Will Die...Mark My Words.

Known as Switzerland’s "Fusion Man," Yves Rossy became the first man in the world to fly with wings and four jet engines strapped to his body in November 2006; on Wednesday he displayed that talent to the world. The inaugural flight lasted six minutes in Bex, Switzerland, and included an emergency parachute programmed to automatically open if he were to black out. On Wednesday the 48-year-old daredevil made his first public flight with his self-made flying contraption in front of the world press after five years of training and many more years of dreaming. Rossy was taken 7,500 feet into the air by jet and then jumped out free falling until he activated his 4 jet turbine engines, which propelled him to 187 mph. Steering only with his body, Rossy dived, turned and soared again, flying what appeared to be effortless loops from one side of the Rhone valley to the other. At times he rose 2,600 feet before descending again. It was the closest thing to a human flying like a bird, a super hero, or ...a complete idiot. He took years upon years to perfect this set of wings and engines. I don't care how well this was perfected it still does not look safe to me. At some point this thing is going to crash and this guy will die. He is planning on flying over the English Channel later this year. He also plans to fly through the Grand Canyon. Right now the jets only allow for 5-10 minutes of flight time, so he has to change the wings and alter some technical issues to improve flight. He has spent nearly 200,000 dollars on this so far. I know he says that this is pretty safe, but I can just picture "Fusion Man" flying dead on right into a mountain side ending his dream in a firey ball of jet pack explosions. Well, until that occurs we have some pretty damn good entertainment. Here is a video from You Tube:

The Earth Finally Says - I'm Not Going To Take This Lying Down!

Does anyone else think that maybe the Earth is finally fighting back for the climate change and global warming the human race is responsible for? I mean don't you think that this could be the Earth's "Orchid"? In the last month we have had a record number of tornadoes in the United States, a highly effective Cyclone that annihilated Myanmar/ Burma, and a devastating earthquake that pummeled China. On an equally terrifying, but less destructive scale there has also been major Volcanic eruptions that have been scorching Chile, and causing government enforced evacuations. The leaders of this country, who deny climate change and global warming is occurring, not only have these events to slap them across the face, but they also have the Earth basically saying "I'm finally getting rid of these neurotic animals. The last 5 million years has been nothing but a mess around here." The quake in China has really been the icing on the cake after 127,000 were killed in Burma, and 22 were killed the United States. The 7.2 quake hit at 6:33 a.m. (6:33 p.m. EDT Thursday), about 140 miles southeast of the city of Hotan in Xinjiang province, the U.S. Geological Survey reported (Western China where a lot of Muslin Chinese live, who are kind of problem nontraditional Chinese- explaining next sentence). A spokesman for China's Earthquake Administration said it was a 7.3 magnitude quake. There were no immediate reports of injuries, he said, and the area is sparsely populated. Of course he did. He also added "Chinese people don't die, the government makes everything so safe and pleasant in China that no earthquake could ever take a Chinese life, and the true cause of the quake was western devils." Well, that thing about being sparsely populated fell flat. One school alone collapsed and killed 900 children. As of 11:00 PM EST, 22,069 were confirmed killed and officials estimate that 50,000 died. Whoops. This is approaching Pakistan earthquake levels of death. I was watching the coverage of the search and rescue and couldn't help notice that one of the grieving mothers was wearing a fake Burberry baseball cap. How Chinese of her. I know, this no time for jokes, but that was just awesome. At this rate the Earth will have finished off us humans in record time, blowing away her previous record of 165 million years for the Dinosaurs. I can understand how people think that tornadoes, cyclones, earthquakes, and volcanoes can't all be related to global warming, but when you study how melting ice caps can increase water weight on tectonic plates, it becomes quit believable. Lets not piss of the Earth anymore. These attacks, including the last 4 years of Tsunami's and Katrina's, have been her weak stuff, don't make her bring out the big guns. If this was the France invading Belgium, I don't want to see WWII.

A Match Made in the Psych Ward...

Correction- Mel And Britney are in Costa Rico not Mexico- thank you picky reader- Also he is married and his wife is with them, so this post is basically ruined.
Britney Spears (Yes, not a sociopath not yet a psychopath Britney Spears) and Mel Gibson are vacationing together in Mexico. Yes Mel Gibson and Britney Spears are vacationing together. This budding recrazyship has been hinting in the Gossip world for sometime now. A couple months ago they had dinner together. This dinner resisted the usual automatic "they are sleeping together" tag line, but I am sure the rags won't make the same mistake twice. Mel Gibson may be married, but that is completely useless for this discussion. I guess Britney is having phone sex with K-Fed at night, and having real sex with Braveheart during the day. I previously posted on this saying some sort of collaboration in music or film would be the best thing to come out of a Spears-Gibson meeting, but I really think that these two dating would be the best thing to come out of this. On the bizarro scale this couple could reach Michael Jackson -Lisa Marie Presley levels of what the fuck. I am sure that these two are the only ones that understand each other, so how could it go wrong? Well, probably in every way possible. I can only prey that they actually are sleeping together. Just thinking what South Park could do with this makes my heart skip a beat. Watch Mel Gibson bring back Britney's career. He will spend months nursing her back to semi-sanity then white-man-dance stage side as she performs on Good Morning America, shield her from the photo flashes, and then shed a tear as she thanks him when she finally wins her Grammy. It would be the most shrewd plan ever to miserly hoard all the publicity that the media is capable of giving. Maybe Britney isn't as crazy as we all think. Who am I kidding. These two are bat shit nuts. Always have and always will be. Maybe they are just friends vacating together....no way.

Did Everyone See This?

Some classy, elegant, sophisticated women decided to flash the Google Maps street level camera. Gawker has the scoop. Click Here for the actual picture on google Maps. I give her credit for trying, but everyone knows that mooning the camera would have been way more funny!

WOW!!!!!!!!

Tonight was some damn good TV. I would not continue reading if you don't want to be spoiled....

The Penguins lost to those dirty Philly punks, but who cares because TV was so good that it made up for it. First, the Office season finale made its incredible appearance. The show was at its best. The jokes were great and the story line was wasn't to far behind. Toby left Dunder Mifflin, because of Pam no doubt, so the Office decided to through a going away party. This caused humor scenario number one with the party committee arguing over planning the party. Then Toby's replacement showed up for funny scenario number 2. Michael and Kevin fell in love with her while Dwight told her that Kevin was retarded resulting in a major laugh riot. Scenario number 3 then enters the picture when Jim decides he will propose to Pam, only to be upstaged by Andy stealing Jim's moment to pop Angela the question. Scenario number 4 completed the epic episode when Michael finds out Jan is pregnant from a sperm donor she went to while they were dating. Phillis walks in on Angela and Dwight doing it at the end of the episode. I highly recommend spending the $1.99 to buy this on itunes if you haven't seen it.

The Following is a very sloppy recap with spoilers - I only wrote it because I was so excited. It is probably not my best work- You may want to skip this.

Now we move on to Lost, which firmly established itself as the best TV show ever in the history of TV. Yes even better than the Fat Pets show. Basically it was confirmed that Jack and Clare are half brother and sister sharing the same dad. We see the Oceanic Six (Kate, Sawyer, Jack, Sun, Hurley, and Arron) being rescued. They less falsehoods at the press conference saying there were no other survivors after the plane crashed in the ocean and the current led them to an island. A boat washed ashore, which they took to an inhabited island. Meanwhile Ben, Locke, and Hurley are trying to get to the Orchid to move the island. Jack and Kate leave the beach to look for the helicopter thinking that Sayid is on it. They met Sawyer and the psychic Asian dude who tell them that the evil people from the freighter are trying to kill everyone. Jack and Sawyer move on to get to the chopper because they think Sayidd is on it, and Kate takes Arron and Asian dude back to beach. I kind of forget how things panned out from here, but basically Sayidd comes back with a boat and starts transporting people to the freighter because the island is going to be blow up. He sets out with Kate to get Jack and Sawyer back away from danger. They get captured by the remaining Others which includes the man we saw with young John Locke ( can he time travel?). Meanwhile back at the ranch. Locke, Ben and Hurley find that the evil people have found the Orchid (the place where you move the island). Ben sacrifices himself to let John get into the Orchid and move the island. The first boat load makes it to the island where Desmond finds out there is something transmitting off the boat. They can't take the freighter to the island to get everyone else until the transmission stops. Michael Desmond and Jin (who was on first boat that was brought to freighter) find out that the freighter is rigged with a ton of Dynamite transmitting a signal to the evil people. So...everyone is stuck between a rock (funny this was the gift Michael gave to Toby as a going away gift on the Office...coincidence?) and a hard place. The people on the boat are on a giant bomb, the people on the island are on a giant bomb, the people traveling back and for the between the island may get lost if the island is moved, the evil people have control of the orchid, the others have control of Kate and Sayidd, and Jack and Sawyer are tyring to save Hurley who is hiding in the woods near the Orchid. This makes for one hell of a season finale.

You May Know Kiss Your Dude...In California At Least.

The California Supreme Court has followed in the foot steps of the Massachuesettes Supreme Court by being the second state to allow gay marriage. I got so excited when I heard this, because you know what this means don't you? I get to post a picture of Cynthia Nixon and her hot beefcake of a lover Christine Marinoni. Cynthia Nixon has revealed that she plans on taking her relationship to the next level by marrying Marinoni. They now have two choices on places to do that! Although the Priveledge and Immunities clause of the constitution will not apply in states that don't recognize gay marriage. See I learned something in law school. Christine Marinoni is just awesome. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Christine Marinoni is a lesbian through and through. Cynthia Nixon not so much. They combine to make one super Ginger lesbian Hollywood power couple. If they could actually procreate they would produce an orange. Yes an orange, the fruit. I have to chuckle at the fact that Sex In the City is coming out while Cynthia Nixon is running around talking about marrying a women. Yeah I know.

Anthony Pellicano is very very bad man...

Via Defamer. Anthony Pellincano was convicted of conspiracy and racketeering today in a California court. The LA Times is reporting that additional verdicts are forthcoming for wiretapping; for the convictions so far, Pellicano faces up 10 years in prison. This came as no surprise no anyone. Pellicano has a reputation that hovered somewhere between Tony Soprano and Spencer Pratt. Pellicano was a private eye to the stars and was invovled in wiretapping scandals with names such as Tom "Xenu" Cruise, Roger Clemmons, Anthony Spilotro, Gary Shandling, and Chris Rock. On February 6, 2006, Pellicano was indicted on 110 counts in federal court in Los Angeles alleging crimes of racketeering and conspiracy, wiretapping, witness tampering, identity theft and destruction of evidence. According to former associate Paul Barresi, Pellicano would purchase tabloid reporters' celebrity gossip before it became public. He then would offer to do damage control for $25,000 or more. Pellicano has some some pretty crazy things all of which can be read about here on wikipedia. Its amazing that Hollywood really does have a seedy dark side that is fueled by black mail, gossip, and violence. It is like LA Confidential come to life. I wouldn't be surprised if we find out Pellicano has connections to that bad ass high school principal.

Real World Reflections...

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So this real world is trying to be more real but it isn't really pulling it off. I did like the use of the word "Whambulance" on last nights episode to describe Greg. I just can't take hearing Brianna cry anymore about people judging her. If you can't judge someone for being a stripper that sleeps with a guy who blew you off and has made it perfectly clear that he fully intends on never calling you again after using you as a receptacle, then what can you judge people on? I forgot to mention that Bri also decided to have sex with her dreamboat in the same room where her roommates were awake clinging to their pillows tyring desperately to block out the noise coming from next to them. I found it funny how Sarah cried on the phone to her mom about Bri having sex. She acted like people were shooting heroin in her room or something. Her moms reaction was the best. She screamed making some noise similar to stepping on a cats tail. It was like Kyles mom's "What What Whaaat?". It is nice to see that Greg is establishing himself as the dick of the house. You always need one person to offend the other roommates in anyway they can think of. The non team player makes for great TV. The episode was your typical real world episode. Sex between roommates, jealousy from the sex, drunk, argument over not cleaning up, talk about roommate's, make up, hug. I am longing for the days of Joeys drunken shit storm. They really should have let him self destruct for a couple of more episodes.

MTV has announced plans to film the next season of Real World in Brooklyn. I can't wait to hear all of the hipsters complaining about the cast and crew. They should have the house join the Brooklyn kick ball league. You know the whole cast will be drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon, tyring to intellectually justify their decision, and arguing over who knows more about German Krautrock before the season is over.

Mars Area School District Principal is Hard as Hell!!!

UPDATE: for latest click here
Anna Saker the principal of Mars Area High School and her husband, Nazih, are accused of leading police on a chase after her husband was pulled over for speeding. Leave the Mars jokes to someone else because I have heard them all. Anna Saker, 55, was a passenger in her husband's vehicle about 5:30 p.m. Thursday when a police officer pulled the vehicle over for traveling 40 mph in a 25 mph area, according to court documents. When Patrolman Daniel Tressler approached the vehicle, Nazih Y. Saker of Lilly Vue Court said he was only driving 35 mph.That's when Anna Saker spoke up and said she was the principal of the school and that she knew the Mars officer in charge. The officer went to his vehicle to fill out the speeding ticket, but as he returned to the Saker vehicle, the driver shouted an obscenity and told the officer he must be new. When Tressler asked Nazih Saker to sign the ticket, Saker cursed Tressler and floored the car (a minivan no doubt) toward Route 228. Tressler chased the vehicle onto Brickyard Road and then onto Lilly Vue Court and into the couples' driveway. When Tressler ordered the couple out of the vehicle, the two got out of the car as Nazih Saker continued cursing and threatening to harm Tressler. Then Nazih Saker grabbed Tressler's left arm and shoved the officer backward. The officer extended his baton, but Saker's wife obstructed Tressler's view of Saker. That's when Tressler gripped his pistol and ordered the couple to the ground, but Anna Saker again stepped between her husband and the officer, waving her arms. Nazih Saker continued cursing and yelling obscenities as an officer from Adams Township police arrived. All four went into the home and calmed down. Nazih Saker is charged with two counts of aggravated assault, and one count each of terroristic threats, simple assault, resisting arrest, reckless driving, exceeding the speed limit, failing to stop at a sign and fleeing a police officer. He also was charged with four counts of disorderly conduct. Anna Saker is charged with four counts of disorderly conduct and obstructing the law.A preliminary hearing is set for June 4 before District Judge Wayne Seibel. That officer should have known better. He was dealing with a principal of a public High School. They are above the law. I wonder if Anna Saker is going to get Saturday detention for this. She should definitely lose all recess privileges. Ok Ill stop. This story is pretty funny though. There must have been a sale at Walmart or something. Why were they in such a hurry. I love how Anna tried to use being a Principal to get out of the ticket. Nice try lady, but the officer was probably a former student that failed out and you expelled at some point.



In other school scandal news, The President of West Virginia University Mike Garrison is getting the axe because he gave the governor Joe Manchin's daughter a M.B.A when she never completed the program. Two top university officials resigned last weekend over their part in the episode. Major donors have canceled plans to donate millions. Members of the Faculty Senate are planning a no-confidence vote on Garrison next week. And critics inside and outside the university have demanded the president resign over what appears to be an instance in which political pull influenced the awarding of a degree. The scandal cracked wide open last week after an investigative panel issued a report saying the university showed "seriously flawed" judgment last fall in retroactively awarding an executive master's of business administration degree to Heather Bresch, who attended the school in 1998 but did not earn enough credits. The panel said the business school gave Bresch credit for classes she didn't take, and assigned grades "simply pulled from thin air," giving her special treatment because of who she is. The degree has since been rescinded. The governor, a Democrat, has denied exerting any pressure and said he first learned of the dispute only after it became a news story. Bresch told The Associated Press that she believes she did nothing wrong. Bresch, 38, is not only the governor's daughter. She is chief operating officer of generic drug maker Mylan Inc., a major West Virginia benefactor with a lab in Morgantown that employs about 2,000 people. Mylan was one of the companies that raised the money to create the Executive MBA program, which is for full-time executives. Mylan's chairman, Milan "Mike" Puskar, is a Manchin supporter and one of West Virginia's biggest contributors. The business school deanship is endowed in Puskar's name, and the football stadium was named for him after he donated $20 million in 2003. Bresch is also a high school friend and former WVU classmate of Garrison. It looks as if there was no mistake here, it was a flat out shady political gift. Poor West Virginia. They just get shit on in this country. They just gave more ammunition for jokes about their education and character. I am sure things like this happen all over the country. How the hell did Bush get and MBA from Yale?

Rihanna Covers Paper Planes...

I can't help but like Rihanna. Aside from being fly as hell, she makes some pretty good pop music and she sang the greatest pop track in the last five years. She is not a piece of junk like most celebrities, and is interested in moving art forward pushing the boundaries of what the mainstream will accept. Its nice to see that she maintains some individuality when most pop musicians in her place are exploited and manipulated into being some sort of character that doesn't resemble who they really are. Her performance of Umbrella with the Klaxons was a good example of this, and news that she covers M.I.A.'s refugee gangsta anthem Paper Planes on Kanye West's glow In The Dark tour is the icing on the cake. I have always thought that that song could be a top twenty pop song since I first heard it on Kala. It hit big last summer, but could make a resurgence with the attention that Rhianna is giving it. Lets hope this opens the minds of mainstream pop fans to music of the underground. This video is only a segment near the end of the song. If anyone has a full clear version send it this way.

I'm Betting This Casino Never Gets Built... What Are the Odds.

Don Barden delayed a hearing today on the growing fiasco that is the financing of the North Shore Magestic Star Casino. As previously reported , Barden decided that the money he pledge to the Hill District was conditioned on the Pens getting the gaming license, and his other Casino's have been losing moneys recently. The state gaming control board agreed today to postpone a public hearing into the financing for the Pittsburgh casino after Bob Oltman a lawyer for owner Don Barden said he needed more time to negotiate terms with lenders. Members unanimously voted to approve the delay until the financing has been completed and reviewed by the gaming board's investigators. Barden has yet to secure funding for the North Shore casino. He received a 200 million bridge loan, to begin construction, which needs to be paid off by Monday. Ground has yet to be broken. Asked if Mr. Barden's $800 million in financing for the casino was in trouble, Mr. Oltmanns replied, "I wouldn't say that. I'm not going to elaborate on the nature of the negotiations other than to say we need a little more time to wrap them up." That translates to we're up shit creek, and no one will give us any money. He added, "It is a complex matter. There are a lot of variables and this is taking time." I would not be surprised if this Casino never gets built. The worst case scenario would be a half built Casino gracing the shores of Pittsburgh's North Side with a sign dangling down in front that says open for business. I bet Barden is kicking himself he won the license. Before you know it the Casino will be the prize on the dollar progressive slot machines.

America's Next Top Nobody is...A Fat Girl!

After 11 seasons of bringing on plus sized contestant only to get rid of them half way through the season, Tyra Banks has decided to give the hollow honor to a full figured girl. You know this had to happen at some point. It was obligatory. One season of top model had to have big girl as its winner, and they decided that this season was it. I think that Tyra and the shows producers know that they have long past the prime of this show and it is only down hill from here. They had nothing to lose by crowning a chubby girl the winner. I am sure Burger King, McDonalds, KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut will get into a bidding war over Whitney. She will be expecting calls from Vogue and Elle, but the first call she gets will be from the Golden Corral all you can eat buffet. I kid I kid. I called it though if it happens. After getting rid of the obvious winner, and only real model on the show Fatima, Tyra and company had skinny girl Anya and fat girl Whitney walk the runway. The show has given up finding true models a long time ago, and has instead been crowning Tyra's own indulgent picks. Last years winner Syesha attended Tyra's camp for young girls and was previously a model on Tyra's talks show. The show has really never been about modeling and more about girls being girls, and the disaster that happens when you make them live together.

I am sure we will never hear or see from Whitney again. She will fall into the black hole that opens at the end of every season, swallowing up the winners by entering them into their new career of obscurity. If anything Whitney will end up as Lane Bryant's newest spokes person and makes some rounds on day time talk shows blabbering about hips and curves. Then the new season will start, and this train wreck of a show will start all over again pushing this newly concluded season into reruns on MTV and VH1 during the weekends. The show is just a conveyor belt of syndicated crap. I think they should do a Supermodel version where they have all the winners come back for one last shot at winning nothing.

Dear Internet, I Have Found the Worlds Smallest Horse, Which Can Be Perfectly Paired With the Worlds Smallest Teenager!!

Thumbelina is the worlds smallest horse. She made an appearance at the Pittsburgh Children's Hospital for something yesterday. I guess to make children happy. Hell it would make me happy if I was a kid. (Although I would have liked to see the calamity that would have resulted from bringing a full sized horse into a hospital...but that's just me). I saw this and couldn't help but immediately think of the Indian teenager, Jyoti, who was making the rounds on websites and news stations a couple of weeks ago. Imagine Jyoti riding on Thumbelina. I hope this made someones day because that mental image could be the greatest I have ever had. Below is a picture of the Indian Teenager, Jyoti. God made these two living creatures for eachother!!! And for us of course. Jyoti + Thumbelina = The greatest image the Internet has ever conjured up. Three cheers for the Internet.Hip Hip Hooray! Jyoti could ride Thumbelina to the mall to meet her friends or even to school! It would make the world a better place. I know it!

Houston We Have a Problem.

Hillary Clinton beat Barrack Obama by over 45 percentage points yesterday in the West Virginia Democratic primaries. Man that one legged guy on American Gladiators did better in the Eliminator than Obama did with working class voters! Ba Dum Cha! This is bad for many reasons. For one, this is going to keep Clinton around for a lot longer. The press was starting there eulogy for Clinton's campaign this week. Now, the campaign will continue and Clinton has even more of an argument for the nomination. I have said this from way back when Obama won Iowa. He is going to have a problem in the general election. He will not win the presidency without Ohio, Pennsylvania, and West Virgina. At this rate it looks like he may be unelectable. Which leads to problem number 2. If Obama is the nominee and loses, we will have Clinton saying I told you so for four years straight. This wouldn't have been that bad if Clinton won by 10 or even 2o points but 47 points make Obama out to look like a horrible candidate. Now I know West Virginia is ...well West Virginia, but this is a real problem with Obama. He cannot appeal to working class (racist) voters, and there are a lot of them in this country. Obama is probably going to get the nominee, so the Democrats need to decide real quick how they are going to deal with this problem. Personally, I think that Clinton as the President and Obama as the VP would have a much greater chance of winning in November than the other way around, but at this point I don't think that it will happen. I live in Western Pennsylvania not New York or other big cities so, unlike most bloggers, I have heard first hand Democrats saying things like "I can't vote for someone who has the same name as a terrorist." Its sad, but speaking pragmatically it is something the Democrats need to understand and adjust their strategy for. For Obama, I think this is where the secret weapon of Oprah needs to be brought in. Get those house wifes to nag their husbands until they vote for Obama. That is the only hope. Obama is going to get the nominee, but he will lose the easiest election for Democrats in history.

Celebrity Gossip Round Up!!!

For all you that check other sites because I don't keep up with the "Rags," here is all you need to know in one post:

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are secretly getting married in Mexico with a Gremlins 2 theme, but we all know about it. This has to be a shot gun wedding. She will reveal she is pregnant shortly after.

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romoe are calling it quits. Who cares... Moving on 

Beyonce may or may not be pregnant

Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt are friends again

The one dude from Gossip Girl is dating the one girl from Gossip Girl (Dan and Serena)

Carmen Electra is not having anymore sex with whoever she was currently having sex with

The Bachelor picked Lorenzo Lamas's daughter. He is so set for life!

Britney Spears crashed her car into someone again (this one never changes) and...

George Clooney was hit on by Rosanne back when he was on her show. Boy did he miss out

Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon and he wants kids

Hugh Heffner won't marry one of those blonds that change his diapers

Fraggle Rock is coming back and Remy Ma will spend 8 years in jail not married because her jailhouse wedding was canceled after her husband tried to sneak in a handcuff keys

There you have it! No need to go to any other website. I am not giving links because you don't need anymore information. That's it. You can thank me in the comment section, which is open to everyone not just blogger members. So comment dammit!

Brooke Hogan Doesn't Know Best...

I used that picture above of Brooke Hogan just because I think it looks funny. Nick Hogan/ Bollea wrapped his Dodge Viper around a palm tree leaving his passenger a vegetable for life. He was sentenced to serve eight months in jail, a probationary period of five years and 500 hours of community service. He must also surrender his driving privileges for three years and complete a DUI school within one year of his release from prison. Hogan was previously cited numerous times for driving 100+ mph and decided that drag racing on a city street after drinking alcohol and during a Florida rain storm was a good idea. You can see this kid makes great decisions. He crashed of course and nearly killed his friend who was riding with him leaving him in a near comotose state for the rest of his life. Well, Brooke Hogan wants you to know that Nick is the victim. You see this celebrity world screws everything up and makes it seem like drag racing after you drank makes you responsible for the disaster that occurs. Man, I've been duped this whole time. Brook wrote on her Myspace page:
"Monday, May 12, 2008

BS
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Life

I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I’m really pissed that the truth didn’t come out from either side. A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn’t from us. John was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME. that should say enough…. Im not going to be out spoken right now, but If some s*** doesn’t start getting straightened out, A lot of people are going to eat their words for lieing. I know all of the truth and I have back up. I never know how twisted this world could be but I’m starting to figure it out. And I’m gonna have to jump off my high road and tackle some ppl who are taking the low road. I know you guys don’t understand, but you will really really soon. Keep praying. And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He’s not "NICK HOGAN." AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…"

I like how Brooke took one out of her fathers book. I could just picture her saying that as a wrestling promo in Hulk Hogan's tone in between matches on Monday Night Raw. I can just see the animated hand gestures and bodily movements describing tackle and jump in her speech. Brooke's right we don't know all the facts. I do understand that this dude was present during this drag race, but he was probably pleading with Nick to slow down, desperately trying to get out of the car while Hogan had a demonic look in his eyes flooring the car, and pushing it over 120 mph. She just needs to shut up, go away, and take her shitty pop career with her because that response made about no sense. The kid was at your house all the time. OK that makes the wreck less Nicks fault? They were good friends I understand that. Your brother still drag raced and your mother still is on record explaining the virtues of street racing. Your stupid that's the truth your talking about, and you do have the facts to back it up. That whole Hogan show is stupid too. It was a waste of space on VH1. They could have had another celebrity magic show or a celebrity grocery shopping show in its place. If they really wanted to entertain people they should have given the grandma her own show. She was the true star of the show. She always told Linda how dumb she was. If they would have had her around more maybe this family would have made it instead of falling apart Greek tragedy style.

Did Anyone Catch the One Leg Dude on American Gladiators?

American Gladiators had a dude with one leg "compete" on last nights show. It was less like compete and more like fight for his life. Watching him play Powerball and Break Through and Conquer was like watching a squirrel run back and forth in the middle of the road as a Hummer barrels down the road toward it, or like watching Godzilla on a death march through downtown Tokyo. I mean come on, this is worse than making the Special Olympics participants compete in a UFC cage fight. At least he came prepared with his carbon fiber athletic prosthesis!! Needless to say he lost. It was not even close. I can't help but think this was a pathetic attempt of the producers to get ratings. If it was, it worked. There is no way in hell I would have watched the show if it wasn't for the handicapped guy. They should do this every week. Next week they should put Heather Mills McCartney up against Helga (doesn't she look like Coco Ice T's wife?). That would without a doubt be Emmy material. Everyone knows the only reason to watch this show is to see the Gladiators rip some overly pumped up - high- on- life douche bag's head off. I could spend all day coming up with comparisons for what happened last night. Leave a comment for one you came up with below.