True Blood Spoilers

The geniuses over at HBO decided to give synopsis for the rest of the episodes of True Blood on its website. Of course the previews give away... everything. If you have read the books the captions basically tell you exactly what will happen and how it will be different than the books. 

Needless to say they have been taken down, but those pathetic pop culture low lifes over at Oh No They Didn't (basically Bitch Please from SNL) managed to capture the synopsis before they were removed. So either stop reading now or continue to find out that Gofrey looks to be Eric's maker and Sophie Anne must help rid Bon Temps of the Maenad/ Circe thing.

207: Release Me (8/02/09)
Betrayed by Daphne, Sam finds himself in an unenviable predicament at the hands of Maryann and her zombie minions. Imprisoned with Hugo at the Light of Day camp, Sookie uses her telepathic powers to reach out to Bill, who's being detained at the hotel by a stubbornly obsessive Lorena. After crossing a church line, a fearful Jason tries to sever his ties with the Fellowship of the Sun, but gets plenty of resistance from Steve and his lackey, Gabe.

208: Timebomb (8/09/09)
Sookie's captivity takes an unexpected turn when Eric arrives to do his master's bidding. In Bon Temps, Sam finds himself in hot water after making a gruesome discovery at Merlotte's. Sent home by Bill, Jessica and Hoyt learn that when it comes to sex, every time is the first time. Tara and Eggs get physical after partaking in a "Hunter soufflé" prepared by Maryann. After Jason pays off his debt to the vampires, Godric looks to enlighten his more single-minded followers.

209: I Will Rise Up (8/16/09)
A wounded Eric plays Sookie for a sucker, to Bill's dismay. Later, Sookie and Jason reflect on their recent adventure, and end up bonding. Blaming Eggs for Tara's bruises and bizarre behavior, Lafayette and Lettie Mae try to figure out a way to pry their kin from Maryann's clutches. Hoyt defends his relationship with Jessica. In Dallas, Eric and the vampires defend their recent actions to Nan Flanagan, and are shocked when Godric decides to take the fall for their PR disaster.

210: New World in My View (8/23/09)
Sookie, Bill and Jason return to a Bon Temps turned upside down by Maryann. Bill discovers that traditional vampire techniques don't work on Maryann; Hoyt and Jessica try to keep a lid on Maxine's madness; Sookie tries to push through the darkness consuming Tara. With all hell breaking loose, Jason takes the bull by the horns to rescue Sam, at least for the moment.

211: Frenzy (8/30/09)
With the crisis in Bon Temps careening out of control, Bill seeks out the advice of Sophie-Anne, the Vampire Queen of Louisiana, but must exercise patience before she gives him critical information. Meanwhile, Sookie and Lafayette find that protecting Tara from herself is more difficult than they anticipated; a desperate Sam turns to an unlikely source for assistance; and Hoyt's allegiance to Maxine is put to the test by Jessica.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_True_Blood_episodes

Individual links for the episodes are there, but HBO just edited them and the summaries are gone from there!

Hey Everyone!!! Dance your Ass Off is....Phat!!!

Dance your Ass Off is Oxygens sassy fun attempt on cornering the Fat people getting in shape TV audience
and let me tell you they do exactly that. With lines like make your moves and but as tight as your weave, this show is nothing but genius. The greatest part of this show is that everyone takes it serious and seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that it involves fat people dancing in ridiculous outfits . I know, awesome. The audience gives standing ovations while the judges give constructive criticism about extending arms and pointing toes. No one even once thought about how humiliating ie awesome this show is when pitching it. Please watch this show and enjoy it. I know I am. Oh yeah and that host ... WTF!

Backpeddling: This Video

BTW- Didn't Viacom sue You Tube and google for having videos like this up? Your answer should be: Yes that is why I can now not view it.

Now Do We Have a Problem ...Haha...

NEW SOUTH PARK ALERT!!!! No it did not disappoint. South Park came back like a bat out of hell, kicking Disney and the Jonas Brothers in their balls. This episode was a classic. Kenny gets a new girlfriend that has a reputation of being a slut. Tammy Werner gave a BJ to a fifth grader in the parking lot of Fridays (I couldn't think of a more perfect line). When the children of South Park find out about Tammy's residence in Ho Town, they warn Kenny about it and the fact that a women's mouth has the most bacteria out of any place on the planet. After Tammy tells Kenny about her lady parts tingling when she sees the Jonas Brothers, Kenny decides to take her to a Jo Bros concert to get some. At the concert, South Park does not shy away from every opportunity to mix prepubescent girls, sex, and Disney in an uber offensive obscene stew. I will not ruin anything further, but keep in mind the rest of the episode involves Mickey mouse kicking the shit out of Joe Jonas. Yeah, awesome. Make sure you catch this episode.

Its about Moral Character!!!

UPDATE : YOU HAVE TO GO TO LUANN'S BLOG!!!! FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!! I don't see anything about making fun of another person's eyes because they said your husband looks 60 in front of your children.

The Real House Wifes of New York threw their collectives hats into the worst people ever hat tonight. This episode muddled in the "manners" theme began last week. Countess Luan became the heavy favorite for horrible person. She picked up where she left off last week telling everyone about how to act and proper etiquette. My favorite non-intetional irony of the episode was the argument/ discussion/ awful people behavior that took place at the American Cancer Society. As the cunts were preparing the food they started talking about nonsense. As they dwelled on meaningless garbage such as dating Ramona told Luan her husband looked old. This made the countess act like the most dignified sophisticated women ever to classy class. Needless to say all of them behaved worse than a tech school drop out from McKeesrocks. It was just great how they were all wrapped up in "proper etiquette" nonsense while a bald women dying of cancer was running circles around them preparing for the benefit. As these horrible people bickered about things meaningless in the larger picture of life, a women with months to live was trying to make a cancer benefit successful. Its is just too easy. These women wouldn't know proper if it shit in their face.

If there is anything to learn from these wastes of life, it is that the people who think they are right the most and act like they know what is proper are usually the people that know the least. Luann is on the level of a 10 spot VH1 show when it comes to class. Her fake indignation over her husbands age is laughable for a women who is writing a book on how to act. The reaction was on the level of Tamra's "its about moral character." Its pretty bad when in a episode Ramona ends up being the most likable. Her crazy eyes have more class than all of those other Paxil bitches put together. Anyhotflash, these women are stupid and I can't believe I waste a spot on my DVR for this shit show mess. If it was on Wednesday's it wouldn't have a chance. Hey, give me a break, Lost was a repeat this week.

R.I.P Tatiana DelToro

Today is a sad sad day in reality TV. We lost one of the most entertaining train wrecks that have ever graced life television. American Idol is dead to me. They killed themselves when they offed the craziest most awesome psychopaths that has ever showed up in front of a camera: Tatiana Del Toro. Yes, the geniuses at Idol decided against the less stable young version of Celine Dione for a bunch of boring steamed Broccoli. Fuck You Idol. The only reason you did this was because you knew Vote For the Worst would have turned Tatiana into the next most famous nobody. Really I am sure I will get over this, but it is at least fun to be full of indignation right now. I really don't like the tattoo girl. she is trying to do Whino down to her Heroin Shimmy shakes, and it is a FAIL. I guess Anoop is OK, but he would be better with an accent and overly dramatic... and borderline. Sigh. Another season of Idol, another couple months of devoting energy to people I will never remember in sixth months. 

P.S.- I like how Simon used Taylor Hicks as  a way of saying someone did bad. He did win the show didn't he?

LETS HATE CHESTER UPDATE!!!

Its that time in the blogosphere!!! Its time to hate on everyones least favorite Mormon! Or atleast one of everyones least favorite Mormons... Real World Chet or as I like to call him: Chester the Fester. Chet and his stupid glasses pursued his shallow dream of becoming one of those hollow fake MTV minions known as Vjays. It is a dying bread, but apparently there is still a place for them on MTV. It is somewhere between girls getting drunk stripping down to their underwear to pee in public, and young adults talking to their parents about how sluty and self respectless they are. Perfect place for a Mormon! Especially an arrogant mean spirited one!

Chet was up to his usual horribleness this week shamelessly self promoting himself and marching around letting everyone know how great he is and how much he knows about everything. He also reminded everyone how ignorant and vile he is by conning Catyln (or Katyln... not sure) into believeing he wanted to learn more about her transgendered life only to use it against her later on in humiliating her and generally tormenting her highschool style. This is what I hate about Chet. His conceit and arrogance manifest itself in not only constant inflating of his ego, but in also degrading and bullying other people. You can see this deep deep violence that is hidden in him disguised by unnatural confidence and "style." He has not talked much about his religion, but I think his awfulness has everything to do with it.

This brings me to our plan on battling this "thing". The people who have to deal with him need to use his own weapons against him. If I were Catyln ( thank god I am not) I would have turned the tables on him and interrogated him on his religion and all the stupidity that goes along with it. When Chet kept asking about Catyln's dilating device, I would have asked him about his sacred undergarments. Where are they Chet? Wouldn't it be funny if someone hung them over a room mate as they slept? When he asked what it was like to wake up without a penis? I would have asked what is it like to wake up knowing you follow a religion started by a conman who fooled people into believing he found gold plates with the book of Mormon written on them (dumb dumb dumb dumb). Chet needs to be humiliated and his religion is the perfect opportunity. The kid is obsessed with sex and celebrities. What kind of loser wastes time on that?....(collar pull). 

So everyone, vent, scream, yell, type in all caps in the comments. Let me know your thoughts and general opinion about Chet. Lets combine our pathetic power and use it for something good; tearing down a person that has done nothing to us. Well, he actually has because I can never wear a scarf or skinny jeans again because of this monster tool. If Chet is good for anything, it is as a contestant on the next season of Tool Academy: Mormon Tool. 

Roman's Sister is Napolean Dynamite's GRANDMA!!!!

Big Love has majorly brought its A game this season. The show has always been relatively entertaining successfully full filling its position as the filler in between HBO's bigger more critically applauded "ground breaking" series, but this season it has broke out of its "intermission" role and established itself as one of the best shows on all of TV. The layered brooding atmosphere only pushes forward the compelling world of intrigue, murder, lies, betrayal, and collusion. All of this goes on in the seaming normal lives of polygamists. This uncanny life is shown in a way that is, at times, completely relatable while also leaving a spooky feeling throughout each episode (something HBO has perfected in all of their original programming).

Just when I thought the show couldn't get any better I was rewarded with last nights episode. Aside from a pounding forward of the plot, there was one of the greatest scenes in a Tv show that I have seen this season. We have cone to find out, by the grace of god no doubt, that Roman's (the prophet of the retarded insane Polygamist compound at the center of all the intrigue on the show) sister is none other than Napolean Dynamites Grandma. Yes the women who will forever been known as coining the phrase "well make yourself a dang Quesadi-l-l-a then Napolean." Selma Green (Roman's sister) has made a surrealist appearance before on Big Love with the rest of the Green clan, but tonight's episode was the first time we were told she was a women... and Roman's sister.  Sandy Martin deserves an Emmy for her appearance in this episode. While officiating a forced marriage between Bill's brother's intended wife and Roman's brother in law, Grandma gets thrown on the ground, stabbed with a pitchfork, and then attacked by a hungry pig who wants to eat her bloody wound. I could not ask for anything more from TV. If this hasn't convinced you that you must watch this show I don't know what else you need. 

The Real Worst People of Orange County

The reunion show was on last night for the Real Skank Ho Shallow Whore Cunts of Orange County. Its pretty bad that Tamra basically calls Gretchen out and reveals to the world that Gretchen had a boyfriend that helped her run a con on a rich old man dying of cancer (something right out of sleazy movie), and I still think that she is the worst of the bunch and a completely horrible person. I believe everything that Tamra said, but while she was saying it she grew uglier and uglier to me. Her vileness and complete spite manifests itself with Tamra's spewing of hate, jealousy, and negativity. Tamra defines the word cunt and gives women a horrible name. She is everything that is wrong with the world. To be so mean with Vicky and then turn around and accuse others of hurting their feelings made me change the channel. Yes, change the channel. After seeing footage of Vicky and Tamra say "lets get Gretchen naked and drunk, " then deny that there was a premeditated plan made me think there is no reason to watch this garbage and give these people a reason to continue in their horrible life.

The level of hatred and mean spiritless goes beyond ghetto crime and Islamic terrorism. I truly believe that these "women" of Orange County are worse for the world than any crime or dictatorship. I hate you women. You are fake, plastic, worthless, terrible human beings that are more disgusting than the stuff that ends up underneath the seat of my toilet after diarrhea. Lynn your OK, Gretchen even know you are a tramp who dated a man for his money while in a relationship, your are sort of OK, and Jeanna, even know you would let your kids and husband run over you in a bus, you are OK. Vicky (Getting hit in the head with the football is all you deserve forever in life) and Tamara you are going to hell, and the worst part is you don't even know it. You think your life and person is no worse than anyone else, and even more shocking you think its better. Fuck you, I hope you rot from some horrible disease and get whats coming to you. There, I feel so much better. This is what happens when I am forced to watch this garbage. These women can dress in expensive clothes and jewelry, but they are no where near as classy or elegant as DJ Lady Tribe or filthiest piece of skank cum bucket on the F list VH1 shows.

The City Could Be the Nail in Lauren Conrad's Coffin...

The Hills spin-offs made their irrelevant debut tonight and of course I watched them. I have no control just like a cutter bringing pain to themselves for some subliminal mental issue, I to cause injury to my pysche purposefuly, only using trash TV instead. 

Bromance was a weird pledging fraternity mess. I am interested to see how much MTV will push the "gay" irony of the show. It could be pretty entertaining considering the only homo on the show left the first episode because finding "Bromance" was too testosterone driven. I doubt I will do anything more than occasionally catch bits and peices of this show during the commercials of something better on the weekend. I am a bit impressed with how serious Brody Jenner takes himself and the show. I mean come on, does he at all see how ridiculous his and the show's existence is?

On to the City, which is surprising really good. It will be interesting to see how the traditionally mean spirited Manhattan know it all Gawker will take the show. I am sure they will be sarcastic and dismissive, but The City is not quit as "dead behind the eyes" as the Hills, and I think that they will be slightly confused by it.

For starters Whitney is surprisingly well spoken and real. What the Hills lacked The City is chalk full of. The conversations are not hollow and empty. They are actually real and interesting. People interact like humans not empty organic bodies. So far, people have said more and done more than a full season of its bastard step child in LA. Maybe it says something about New York in general. There is so much more to life in that city than LA. People are living, experiencing, and interacting on such a higher level that MTV can't manipulate them the same way they can on the west coast. Don't get me wrong there is still a lot to get nauseous over, but for the most part Whitney is such a more likable person than Lauren, and New York is somuch cooler than LA, that the show works really well and is much easier to watch.

I like the fact that two years ago Olivia, the socialite ("So-sh"), would have been a character that people envied and aspired to be, but with the quick change of economic environment, she actually now comes across as desperate and shallow. Imagine that, socialites getting the side eye. Something good finally came out of this recession. 

I can only hope that the content and substance of The City convinces everyone that they have been hoodwinked by The Hills and Lauren Conrad. I am sure that LC has already noticed this and it will only be time before we see blog items insinuating things aren't good between Whitney and Lauren. Poor Lauren will become as meaningless and useless as she has always been when everyone realizes Whitney is far more interesting and likable. As The City pushes The Hills down the steel stairs, The Hills "characters" will become more and more desperate. We will undoubtedly see more crap like "Bromance" and only Satan himself can conceive what Spencer and Heidi will do to keep them Z-list enough to land an US Weekly cover. Who knows they may be forced to settle for the corner of a Star cover. GASP!!!!

Sunday Video

Here is a clip of Summer Heights High. If you can, make sure you start watching this show. It premiers tonight on HBO. It is on at 10:30 after Entourage and True Blood. Yes...Sunday is turning into an incredible night of television rivaling Wednesday and Thursday in laziness. And BTW how fucking awesome is True Blood? Paquin boobs, possum demon lady, crazy V trips. I am interested to see if Jason frees the vampire he has hidden in his basement or if that crazy hippie bitch fucks everything up... And poor Bill, Snookie has really got him in bad with the Vampires. I think that there is a lot about Bill we don't know, and his intentions with Snookie aren't exactly what they appear to be. Anyway here is that clip I mentioned.

How Can the Office Still Be So Good, but Heroes has Become so Bad?

The Office had one of its best episodes yet last night. Michael and Holly have consummated their relationship, the Office got robbed as a result, ....and The Boss caught something interesting when he showed up for a charity event (Not Bruce Springsteen. You just have to watch it) Dwight fought the "Battle of Helms Deep" for Angela with the "help" of Phyllis (the best scenes of the night in my opinion). It is amazing to me the Office is able to maintain such a high level of television. It may even be better than when it started. Usually shows fall in the crapper as seasons go on. The show is apologetically itself...like most good shows. Hell, no one even watches 30 Rock even after winning an Emmy, but the show won't change and that's what makes it so good.

Heroes.... On the other hand has completely destroyed itself and what was once a refreshing entertaining piece of television is now a cliched mess. I have to say something on this even though Monday was at the beginning of the week (sorry I am now a real life lawyer...just like William Shatner. The show started with so much promise. It was an uncanny human deliberation on ordinary people with special powers that just happen to be living in society. Unfortunately, it has now become a soap opera with mutant superheroes. The plot lines suck big time, it is not nearly as addicting and engaging as season 1, and there is only one person left on the show who is non-mutant. What happened to the ordinary/ extraordinary dichotomy? If you don't agree, just keep an eye out for next week's preview. If you are not paying attention you could mistake it for a Passions or Days of Our Lives Friday promo. I cry for Heroes. They have completely sold out for viewers. The producers panicked when ratings went down. Viewers have never quite recovered from the writers strike, and from the looks of it, neither have the writers.

It doesn't matter how bad Heroes is as long as I have that sleazy Vampire show to tune into every Sunday night on HBO. Vampires +Anna Paquin Boobs + Alan Ball + Louisiana= Best Show on overpriced cable stations.

Don't You Dare Fuck With Best Week Ever...

The New York Times is reporting that Best Week Ever will be changing its five year format to compete with The Soup and other pop culture weeklies. The show will now be called Best Week Ever With Paul F. Thompkins. The show will eliminate the "multiple commentators" aspect of the show and continue with a new format centered on a single host. The host will be Paul F. Thompkins. I very much enjoy Thompkins place on the show, but I am deeply troubled with the direction that the show may go. Thompkins is funny, but he lacks the snarky, um, how do I say....mean spirited bite that made BWE my go to show on the weekend. The show was my savior reminding me that there are other people in the world who view pop culture and mainstream entertainment with the same disdain and WTFness that I do (I can only hope that my personal Prozac - Best Week Ever Blog will remain the same and non-molested)

I understand that BWE gets destroyed by The Soup, but come on, going the pussy route of kissing celebrity ass is not going to win any viewers. The Soup is ruthless to anyone who shows their face on TV. Each show has its good points, and they each offer something different. I like them both the way they are.  Asking me to choose between the two is worse than Sophie's Choice. It is like being asked to pick a favorite Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor or deciding what show to leave off of my DVR recording list (damn DVR with its "I can only record two shows at once shit). 

I plead to VH1 DON'T FUCK THIS UP. If you hurt my precious Best Week Ever, I will hunt you down, tie you up, and force you to sit and watch that Denise Richards show. You are already in the Dog House with me after giving Vivica Fox a TV show. It has only gotten worse with the spin offs Real Chance of Love and Daisy of Love. Be careful....your viewers may be pathetic, but we are not that pathetic. If you push us too far, we may be forced to get up off of the couch to find the controller and change the station!!!!

Some Things Are Better Left Untouched...

• VH1 TV Shows
• Music Videos
• Celebrity Photos
• News & Gossip

Skank School returned tonight, and basically revealed itself as Rock of Love minus Bret Michaels. I am glad VH1 got the memo and realized that these girls are just trashcans that don't even need a penis to fight over. They are still capable of being the exact opposite of elegant, which is exactly what we want. This brings me to my next point. Why do we want to change these....uh...women. They are perfect the way they are. Saying they need to change is like saying the Mona Lisa needs to some extra shading around her lips. 

The show started off as expected with Dallas throwing an apple at Lacy's head. Then Courtney (the dumb drunk bitch who slept through the first episode of Rock of Love) got drunk, passed out, and booted from the show. At least she is consistant. The show looks like it is going to be your typical Ho off with fighting, spitting, crying, and drunken flooze. Exactly....perfect TV. Sharron Osbourne wears the hasmat suit this time with back up from... Ricky Rachtman (Ha).  

Sunday Video

It looks like Sunday Video is turning into my only post. I am sure that I will get back on my game as I start getting settled into my new job. Anyway, this weeks video is in honor of the return of V. Since everything from the 80's and 90's is being redone, ABC has decided to bring back V (the original miniseries) from 1983. You may have to strain your brain to remember this gem, but I was thinking about this show the other day, remembering the cool action figures and laser guns I had. The figures even had mask that could be taken off to reveal their alien faces!!! This show was the shit. I am leaving out the best thing about the show. If you don't remember watch the video.

If there is one thing to help Americans through this shitty economic time its hamster eating aliens. You know we are really headed toward the 1992 recession when everything you see is from the 1980's or the early 1990's. I am sure I will watch it. Hey, give me an episode of V and Real Housewives of Atlanta and my night is set.....so sad...so sad.

Gossip Girls Returns!!!! and Disapoints...:(

Gossip Girl has been everywhere letting everyone know that they are starting a new season and we should all be excited about it. Well it was on tonight and I kind of thought it sucked. As I previously mentioned, Gossip Girl has decided to basically pluck story lines out of pop culture instead of paying writers to come up with new stories. It some what worked last season, but I kind of feel that they are now just pulling a Law and Order, and leaving work at 3:30. The fun part is to look for hints and predict where they are going with story lines. Tonight I caught a few that I think are going to develop. First, Nathan is sleeping with a married women, Serena and Dan are getting back together. Chuck won't tell Blair he loves her so she is dating a guy that she wasn't interested in, but now is because he was hiding his royal background. Jenny Humphrey works for some fashion designer who is mean. Here are my predictions. Jenny will become anorexic and a junkie- maybe even "Whinehouseish." The hint was telling Dan she wanted "Popsicles" for dinner, and the fact that she works for a designer. Blair's new guy who faked his accent will turn out to be like Anne Hathaway's ex boyfriend that was a high end con man who pretended that he worked for the Vatican. He will steal a bunch of money. It will be Dan's story line from last season switched to Blair and Chuck. Nathan will somehow be involved with this married lady and her husband, which I think will go in a murder direction. Nathan will be framed or something. There are many rich people murder things recently in the news. Rockfeller or something right? There you go, you have the rest of the season in front of you. Gossip Girls even gave a nod to this world they pluck there story lines from by having Tinsley Mortimer make an appearance at a White Party. Keep your eye on the real life world of socialites because whatever happens will probably end up on Gossip Girls. 

THANK YOU DIDDY!!!!!!!!

BEFORE              AND AFTER

I was just waiting for someone to acknowledge the fact that Aubrey O'Dey looks like a tranny-racoon-prostitute-pornstar. She was hot- now she is not. Unless you like that porn star tranny look. Finally it happened last night on Making the Band. Puff had a meeting were he asked Aubrey what she wants to look like. Aubrey came back and said all this junk of looking like a member of the band or whatever. Puff then asked her if she wanted to look like Pamela Anderson. She replied "no, I want to look like a tranny racoon clown!" Just kidding, it doesn't matter what she said, what matters is that Puff said what we are all thinking. He said Aubrey does not look like the girl that he put in the band. The girl that was on the first three seasons of the show. What we liked about Aubrey in the beginning is gone. What is left is a worn out pornstar on the level of todays Pamela Anderson but 30 years younger. Aubrey looks beat straight up. Too much fake shit and too much makeup. There is nothing appealing about her anymore. Get rid of her because there are hundreds of girls that can do what she does better, and her drag queen attitude is useless. Puff is her manager and she needs to realize that she works for him. If your boss doesn't like you looking like a clown and running around with pornstars to get attention, then you need to stop. Humpf...

DVR Alert...

I like to watch Fox New's Red Eye when I am up that late - 3:00 a.m. Greg Gutfeld is a good enough host, but the guest comedians/ bloggers they have on are always worth a laugh. On very special occasions, Michelle Collins is on and sometimes hosts. You can thank me by coming back to this blog and clicking on the ads for letting you know Michelle Collins is hosting Monday night. The show started out in February 2007 as a kind of awkward conservative attempt at comedy, but it has developed into a very un-Fox News variety/ pop culture show. The transition in my opinion occurred after the now infamous firing of Rachel Mardsen. I have watched it since its beginning and can safely say that it is now very watchable. The show stands by itself, but Michelle definitely makes the show more enjoyable. Check it out. 

Unnecessary Censorship is Completely Necessary For This Clip...

I have been a faithful follower of Jimmy Kimmel live ever since it came on the air. There was something about that first episode, when Jimmy and Snoop were wasted and decided to throw a Ventriloquist's Dummy into a deep fryer after he performed, that made me say I will never miss an episode of this show. And good thing for all of you, because I saw this clip on Friday night and have been looking for it ever since. Kimmel has a long running bit where he censors harmless clips from TV and makes them more vulgar than before they were bleeped. In this clip he focuses on childrens shows mainly Sesame Street. What ensues is a comedic gold mine. Enjoy.

An Open Letter to Creators of I Survived a Japanese Game Show...

Dear Arthur Smith and Kent Weed,

Although nothing you can create will compare to videos like the one above, you have nonetheless created my dream show. For those of us who have had our days made special the last couple of years by viewing Internet clips of Japanese pop culture, a game show involving sheltered Americans competing on an over the top Japanese Game Show is like Christmas morning when you are five years old. I would just like to offer a few suggestion to make this concept even more awesome. After consulting my reality TV associate (my brother), we have come up with some ways to make this show last more than one season and make it even better. Two words come to mind "Confusion" and "Humiliation". You need to make these words a greater part of the show. Don't get me wrong, I understand that you have very much created a show around these words, but push further. There should be no communicating in English between the game show host and the contestants. The Americans should have to figure out how to play the games themselves without an explanation before hand. This would create an even larger disaster. The winning team should continue to have a reward, but the the reward should give clues about the culture that are helpful to understanding the game show and the Japanese. Second there needs to be more humiliation. Dressing up in a Lady bug outfit is not cutting it (although, the live audience with their noise making instruments and uncontrollable laughter at the mishaps and injuries of the contestants was one of the highlights of the first episode). Oh how the Japanese have mastered surreal television programs. Now, criticizing this show is like telling the pope he is not Catholic enough. You have developed a program that symbolically represents American's hegemonic cultural view. Most middle Americans do not understand what it is like to be the minority culture. By using Americans from small towns who have not been out of the country, you allow for a greater on camera inevitable realization or moment of clarity about how ignorant they are. I think that you could do similar shows in other countries around the world where inexperienced Yanks, who are hopelessly comfortable with their way of life, are thrust into a new culture with no help, only to swim or sink with the possibility of winning money shamelessly fueling their uneasy experience. So congratulations on a great TV program, but just keep in mind the less the contestants know and the more they are made to look like fools can only improve your in genius concept.

Very Respectfully Submitted,

The Secret Art of Snark

Here is another clip just to make sure we all know what we are up against: