Hey Everyone!!! Dance your Ass Off is....Phat!!!

Dance your Ass Off is Oxygens sassy fun attempt on cornering the Fat people getting in shape TV audience
and let me tell you they do exactly that. With lines like make your moves and but as tight as your weave, this show is nothing but genius. The greatest part of this show is that everyone takes it serious and seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that it involves fat people dancing in ridiculous outfits . I know, awesome. The audience gives standing ovations while the judges give constructive criticism about extending arms and pointing toes. No one even once thought about how humiliating ie awesome this show is when pitching it. Please watch this show and enjoy it. I know I am. Oh yeah and that host ... WTF!

Must Be Dreamworks...Ha Ha!!!

I love shit like this. You know some of the Disney animators are so over it. Everyone at their job tries to cut corners. If you have something to write or have work to do, most people just try to find someone who already did it and copy it. Everyone does it and anyone who says they don't is lying. The game in life is to not get caught. Hell Bloggers are able to make a living doing it. I do it everyday. Where do you think I came up with this post? Musicians do it, lawyers do it, and Disney does, but they got caught.

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Now Do We Have a Problem ...Haha...

NEW SOUTH PARK ALERT!!!! No it did not disappoint. South Park came back like a bat out of hell, kicking Disney and the Jonas Brothers in their balls. This episode was a classic. Kenny gets a new girlfriend that has a reputation of being a slut. Tammy Werner gave a BJ to a fifth grader in the parking lot of Fridays (I couldn't think of a more perfect line). When the children of South Park find out about Tammy's residence in Ho Town, they warn Kenny about it and the fact that a women's mouth has the most bacteria out of any place on the planet. After Tammy tells Kenny about her lady parts tingling when she sees the Jonas Brothers, Kenny decides to take her to a Jo Bros concert to get some. At the concert, South Park does not shy away from every opportunity to mix prepubescent girls, sex, and Disney in an uber offensive obscene stew. I will not ruin anything further, but keep in mind the rest of the episode involves Mickey mouse kicking the shit out of Joe Jonas. Yeah, awesome. Make sure you catch this episode.

Don't Ask What This is Just Accept It...

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I Love the Internet....

Only on the Internet will you find a site devoted to food that is ridiculously unhealthy. Leave it to college level stoners to come up with the most gluttonous grease driven masterpieces of This is Why You are Fat.com. When people say pot is bad I urge them to check out the website. Sure pot is bad if you are going to eat a pizza with corndogs on it or a deep fried mars bar, for the most part pot is responsible for some of the best entertainment and senses of humor I have ever come in contact with. t is sometimes difficult to explain what smoking pot is like to someone who has not experience, but this website pretty much perfectly summarizes pot on every level. It covers the buffoonery, the munchies, and the mind expanding. This is why you are fat is such an incredible website because not only does it crack you up, but it also just generally makes you happy. Go check out the website, then push yourself creatively to come up with something worthy of being featured on the website. And believe me, the website is not just for stoners, the sad part is that I would probably each anything on that website stoned or not. 

I Finally Got Around to Writing a Benjamin Button Bash...

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

I don't think I have mentioned it on here, but Benjamin Button is like the worst movie of the year. I don't understand how any critic sat through it, let alone enjoyed it. It didn't really make any sense, the concept wore thin 45 minutes into the nearly 3 hour movie, and there was little to no meaningful character development to attach you to the story.

The whole time I just kept thinking that the movie was a less tolerable Forrest Gump ( which is saying alot). Take Forrest Gump remove all of the familiar pop culture references and lovable bafoonery, then add a Nautica/ Ralph Lauren aesthetic to the cinematography and you have Benjiman Button. Don't worry about the whole growing old to young thing, because you forget about it and get used to Button's weird appearence completely failing to relate it to how it is affecting who he is (the greatest failure of the movie).

Anywasteoftimeterriblemovie, I was proven right in my astute observations because I guess both movies were written by Eric Roth, and are set up the same way (see video above). Well what do you know. I just can't seem to understand how people are allowing the wool to be pulled over their eyes with the constipated mess. Could it be that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie live just wonderful Hollywood envied lives that there is no way that one of them could be part of such shit? They adopt kids from all over the world and live in France, so whatever they do must be sophisticated and awesome right? NO! This movie sucks and has nothing on Forrest Gump (which, it is important to note, is a cliched Hollywood sentimental fuck fest mess). So just watch the movie above instead of wasting money and time on this epic dump.

Boring Monday Post...

After the post Steeler crazy awesomeness celebration hot mess masterpiece crash, Mondays can be somewhat of a drag- even with thinking about god's gift to Pittsburgh in an AFC Championship game. With that said/ written (very poorly at that) the above video of Serious Cat should give you that 2:30 boost (even know the first publishing of this post failed and it didn't show up until after the work day).

Serious Cat is the newest lol cat. Welcome him to the family. He is a distant cousin of ceiling cat, and the mortal frenemy of Spaghetti Cat. I am sure Encyclopedia Dramatica has a way better and authentic biography of this incredible meme. Head over there for the real scoop, or just enjoy his awesomeness.

Pittsburgh Meta-Rivalry...

So the big thing taking every one's mind of the bleak tundra style weather that magnifies all of Pittsburgh's flaws is Playoff Football. This is not an uncommon thing in Pittsburgh since the Steelers almost inevitably end up in the post-season every year. Regardless, it is a great way for us Yinzers to come together, stop complaining about our city, and collectively cheer on the Steelers in hopes that they temporary return the Burg to the 1970's (and Feb 2006) glory that the Superbowl win briefly creates. We are two wins away, and the first team in our way are the Ravens.

With the post season comes the rivalries and rivalry of rivalries. Soon mayors will be making harmless politically calculated bets and Ray Lewis will say something controversial like always. But, this year that dirty, no good, Pittsburgh wannabe city of Baltimore has taken it one step to far. Baltimore Sun writer Kevin Cowherd (Coward? Cowher? Ironic?), whom I would personally attack if it wasn't for The Wire, has gone after Primanti Brothers sandwiches in an attempt at good old fashion muckraking. Cowherd says that the sandwiches aren't good for you and that the french fries look like worms. What, are you scared of Primanti's Kevin? Ok Ill stop...

Now you can attack our crappy city anyway you want Mr. Cowherd. You can push our aging population in our faces, our lack of useful public transportation, or even our bafoonery in attempting to get a casino built, but don't you dare even say a word about our sloppy-greasy- grade F meat sandwiches. There is no food more sacred in this city than sandwiches eaten by the most obnoxiously drunk 20 somethings post 2 am on any given Friday or Saturday night. How dare you say that a sandwich with egg and french fries served in a place where homeless people are slow dancing with the toilet is anything other than 6 star culinary masterpiece!!!!

Its on Mr. Cowherd. Your Natty Boh beer and UTZ chips suck, and after a google search I found out your responsible for Tori Amos and Abercrombie and Fitch (so basically gay). Ill take John Waters, The Wire, Charms City Cakes, and Bmore Club jams, but aside from that your city sucks, and you know it. Everyone in the world knows that the Baltimore accent is just a low rent version of the Pittsburghees, and the Pittsburgh Passion can totally kick the Baltimore Burn's vagina! Just keep in mind that the Steelers are going to win come Sunday and a whole lot of Baltimore fans will be sobering up, nursing their hangover, or using a toilet in a Primanti Brother's somewhere downtown. Black and Gold baby!!!

GREATEST VIDEO I HAVE SEEN IN 2009...

This is the best viral video I have seen in a long time. It kind of sums up all of College Humor and Funny or Die in one 4 minute video. In fact, I think this video kills both of those sites. Each rapper gets better and better, although my favorite is without a doubt at the minute mark. He takes the Dustin Hoffman via Rainman delivery style. Wouldn't you? It is the 80's.

GOD DAMMIT!!!!

I just lost this really great post that I wrote about Sarah, Bristol , and Piper Palin. Basically it was about how at one time I thought that Piper Palin would grow up to do great things because of her obvious pleasure in being on stage and in the public eye. Then I saw her with a (fake) Louis Vouitton bag and with high heels on in the Today Show segment, to which I immediately altered said opinion. My new opinion was about how she will be Bristol 2.0 in the 2012 campaign causing more trouble by being sluttier and more Parasite Hiltonish. I swear, it was a very intelligent, Salonish.comish piece. I even had video of the Today Show with said heels. Well blogger went and fucked it up by erasing it instead of saving. I know its hard to keep the two straight (stupid blogger). So instead I am posting this incredible video Sarah Shaffer posted wrapping up the campaign on Best Week Ever. Pay special attention for Piper Palins appearance. Its no Heel or Loius Vouitituituitoooion, but it is just as awesome.

Campaign for the President: A Tribute @ Yahoo! Video

A Sex Change We Can Believe In!!!!

This week didn't just stand for change in the nations most important office. No, change was felt through out the nations political system from state wide elections to small town mayors. In by far the hottest race of the 2008 political elections, Stu Rasmussen beat out incumbent mayor Ken Hector. This is Rasmussen's third term as mayor of Silverton ( A town with 9,600 people...I know...This means he's qualified to be governor of Alaska and a VP candidate as well). What is going to be different for Stu this time? Well for starters he is now a women. Yes, Stu Rasmussen will be coming back to city hall dressed as a woman with breast implants and size 11 3 inch heels. Rasmussen, 60, a local politician since 1984, has been elected twice as city mayor in 1988 and 1990. However, at that time, he did his official affairs wearing shirts and pants. Stu Rasmussen publicly transitioned into a women the years in between his terms as mayor. With the support of the town, and with a campaign slogan about preserving the community, Rasmussen was able to win win his third term as mayor by more than 400 votes ( which is alot when 4,000 barley voted). Stu says hes a fiscal conservative, a social liberal, and hot ass slut!

Apparently Stu Rasmussen likes to dress in miniskirts and black boots, and some say she is the ,kind of women who can stop traffic.( Ok The Sarah Palin comparisons need to stop). She has been cross dressing for 15 year starting out small just getting her nails done then going out in full Tranny gear. Stu says hes a straight dude in a woman's body. He has been with the same women for 30 years. Policy issues dominated the race because everyone knew Stu and didn't have a problem with him.

I'll say it again, What is with Trannies lately???? I previously did a post on this, but the Tranny Train is moving full steam ahead. There was the pregnant man, the Tranny Chicken, the Top Model Tranny, Tila Tequila, Aubrey Odey, Onch the Asian kid from Paris Hilton New Best Friend, and Transtasia ( Doc about Transgendered beauty pageants that won a bunch of awards at Cannes). Watch out world, if things continue down this path, I think I see the Republican candidate for 2012. He has just as much experience as Sarah Palin, wants to cut the government fat, is a Maverick, and knows how to rock a pair of leather boots. Ladies and Gentlemen Stu Rasmussen will not stop at mayor, you thought it was history with Obama being the first African American president. Well, watch 2012 will be the year of the first Tranny president. Video below of hot ass Stu being interviewed in front of his favorite 4 a.m. corner. I kid, I kid.

Picture Worth A Thousand Words...

A British tourist was arrested for swimming naked in the moat of the Japanese Imperial Palace. He swam in the moat then scaled the Palaces 25ft wall. Please insert your Godzilla joke HERE. Television footage showed him getting out of the water at one point and chasing police with a rock and a construction site pole. He then went back to the murky water and swam across to the other side of the moat. He was caught by two policemen after a chase that media said lasted for an hour and a half. Do I really need to even ad any snarky or witty comments to this story? I think that it stands by itself. I will ask the same question I asked about the bar tender monkey in Japan. What is more funny, the naked British guy or the Japanese people?

One More Time Can't Hurt!!!

I know everyone has seen this video...more than once, but it definitely can't hurt to watch this again. Kanye West may be an idiot, but his blog is a great read, and I find videos and images that are always worth spending some time on. This is where I came upon this vid. There are so many things you can laugh about when you watch porn. I am not even going to begin to list them. This video manages to take that idea, put it on its head, and make hardcore dirty ass porn safe for work. Yes the impossible has been accomplished, Christ has returned, and Pigs flew. BTW, I have to say my favorite is either the Bass guitar part or the change in the pay phone. Whats yours?

This is True Poetry...

This video truly brings a tear to my eye...from laughing. Like Tupac Shakur, T-Baby manages to express the emotional complexity that living on the streets can create. Her lyrics and imagery allows the world to truly understand the consequences of violence and strife on inner city life. Only through the poetry and art of T-Baby can we see progress and change in impoverished areas of this country. If Smell Yo Dick didn't exist I would say this is the best video I've seen on you tube, but it does so I can't.

Has Everyone Seen This? If Yes Watch It Again.

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One day College Humor needs to battle Funny or Die in a street style Step It Up gang fight. The judges would be a bunch of stoned bloggers off thier face. Yeah that would be cool. AWESOME. RAD!!! And just for good measure here if the 60 minutes Miss Piggy interview

See more funny videos at Funny or Die