pop culture, pittsburgh, and potpouri

Thursday, June 26, 2008

We Will See a Picture of Amy Whinehouse with a Gigantic Penis in Her Mouth in 5-4-3...

Rollingstone has this article that they did on Amy Whinehouse over on their website. I really recommend reading the entire article. There is not much that you will find surprising; Amy Whinehouse is a junkie mess that stays up all night and day doing drugs in her mess of a house with every walk of life coming in and out the door. She loves her Blake Incarcerated, and she thinks that she doesn't have a problem. Her new music will sound like the Shangri La's and Back to Black but with ska beats. Bad things will continue to happen to her unless she gets help. The gem that is buried in the article is the brief mention of seeing Amy Whinehouse's "wedding" pictures by the reporter. The pictures were your typical junkies falling in love by doing drugs together pictures. You know, Blake and Amy with crack pipes, Blake and Amy exchanging pills with their tongue, Blake and Amy blowing smoke into each other mouths, and Amy having a gigantic penis in her Mouth. Yes Amy having a Gigantic penis in her mouth. Rollingstone used those exact words. After revealing that people come into the house who she doesn't know, the paparazzi stand outside her house all day, and "cunts around her that whisper" leak info to the press, I give 24 hours before this picture somehow makes it onto the Internet. We've seen every other private movement released to the press. If that reporter had any sense he would have took a quick "mobile" (for the Brits) picture, make some quick loot, take a couple weeks off from freelancing, and blow off that article he is doing on Ashley Tinsdale for Blender. What he has now done is create a game show for "lifes winners" where they attempt different ways of trying to get into Amy's house to get the picture and make some money. You know, like Wiley Coyote and the Road Runner episodes. All though it will be way easier for a shady character to be successful than Wiley Coyote. Its not like Amy Winehouse is even trying to protect herself. All you have to do is ring the door bell say you are giving free heroin and cocaine away at 8 a.m. when she is nice and toasted, and take complete advantage of her. Remember your USB drive and send me a 10% cut please. Maybe Amy should just release it and get it over with. Come on Amy, if Hollywood royalty like Verne Troyer has sex pictures out, then what are you waiting for?

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