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Monday, April 14, 2008

Attention All Catholics: Prepare For a Guilt Trip, The Pope Is Coming!


Put away your diaphragms, and break out the Rosaries, the Pope is coming to America. The Pope is making an appearance in the Washington D.C. and New York to remind all Catholics about how they should be going to church more, and how much their beliefs have strayed from the churches ancient doctrine. Really, he is here, beginning tomorrow, to meet with Catholic Universities ... to make them feel guilty about allowing puriant interests on campus, and to discuss how to connect theological teachings to all aspects of University life. He is expected to visit Boston to smooth over that unpleasantness that occurred. You know that little scandal involving priests and young boys. I am sure you forgot about it anyway. If anything, this will be an opportunity to see the Pope Mobile in all its incredibly awesome glory. Ok, that was all in good faith. I am a Catholic. Please don't contact me Catholic League... I attended 12 hours of marriage classes last week. Doesn't that give me any leeway?

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