pop culture, pittsburgh, and potpouri

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Madonna Sucks!

All right this is my amateur review of the new Madonna album Hard Candy. If you took all of the top 20 pop songs of the last 3 years, took out the lyrics, and added Madonna's annoying voice you have Hard Candy. What makes this album even more agonizing is that it is a fifty year old women singing on tracks that are written for Mylie Cyrus or Hillary Duff. Sure the tracks are a little more edgy thanks to Pharrell and Timbaland, but I still can't shake the fact, while listening to this bubble gum pop, that an old lady is singing. Madonna comes off as trying too hard. Heartbeat is the track that is most guilty of this. The song tries to be something reminiscent of her 1980's music, but really sounds like a bad Kylie Minogue interpretation. Timbaland more or less phones it in. Devil Wouldn't Recognize you is so Timbaland that it makes you laugh thinking that he didn't even try to come up with something new. The best track is 4 Minutes, which does nothing for people buying the album. I did like Give It 2 Me and Voices, but that is not enough for me to recommend the album.

  Like I have said before Madonna should really leave pop music to those who are young. It is time to hang up the towel. Madonna is somewhat aware of this on the track Shes Not Me, where she sings about other pop stars. This battle track is pathetic and only furthers the argument that Madonna looks stupid with her legs spread on the cover of the album. All of the songs on the album would be better if sung by a younger more relevant pop star. The beats are decent, and if anything are a lesson in the way the music industry works. You hire a producer to make hot tracks for you. We are all aware of this, but Madonna comes across with such conceit and pretense, acting like she has one up on us by coming up with great pop tracks. The problem is that these tracks are no different than anything you would hear on the radio today. She is to late in the game. We have heard it all before. Like I said, adding Madonnas voice only decreases the relevance and punch of the music. 

I have one question for her: Why? Why make this album? There is no reason for it. The only explanation is that Madonna wants to stay relevant, which she fails miserably at. Don't waste your time with this album or Madonna. Anything you would hear on this album, you have heard before. If you want to hear good pop there is music out there that blows this junk out of the water. Yelle, Robyn, or even Kylie Minogue are more worth your time.

No comments: